Unorthodoxy

I been struggling with funds lately from being sick constantly and currently at the moment I had to take time off work. So I uploaded my art for purchase, I also take commissions & if you watch to help I’ve linked my ko-fi

https://ko-fi.com/comradepreet

https://www.redbubble.com/people/tigerresss/shop?asc=u

As a kid I grew up really quiet

As soon as I was born there was problems

I was not a boy I was a girl

I was showing symptoms of Asperger’s

I was non verbal & lashing out as a kid

Grandma would joke around saying I was a lot of work & trouble

I was biting kids because I didn’t want to play with them I was getting bullied, because I couldn’t talk

I was forced to stop, grandma feed me hot chilli’s to stop me from doing that, I have acid reflux now

I was not verbal her joke of hide & seek was neglecting me then yelling at me for hiding in a suitcase I was 4

More lashing out, I loved visitors they always had treats n gifts only time I got it was my birthday

I think I was assaulted by all the men in my family because I was born a girl.

Deprived of food, care, just basic human needs & rights

I wonder pretend to be a cartoon to deal with this trauma i don’t want to look at those pictures anymore

They make me dizzy to think about it

They hit me when I lashed out instead of taking me to a doctor or scolded me or deprived me of food until i behaved properly like the stray dogs they brought in

It’s really disgusting to think about it I was á curious quiet kid they kept forcing me to do things I didn’t want

When strangers were over, they would shut me up

Hit me scold me talk over me

I’d here them talk about me like i didn’t exist

Relative’s never did anything or notice something odd

I was á really sensitive kid

I wanted to make things and learn

Every time I wanted to I was stopped

My entire life when I tried to establish my independence & own identity along from gaining any health coping mechanisms

They took me to pray it away i instead of the doctors, weird baba on these trip

I was always uncomfortable in my skin

It continued until I got my first migraine and puked in front of my aunt’s house

I was near death diagnosed with scleroderma, rheumatoid arthritis, mixed connective tissue disease effecting my lungs, liver, digestive system so much acid reflux I could eat probably after my treatment still can’t

I document this because I don’t feel safe

I’m trying to change my circumstances genuinely & people never believe me it’s been my entire life

They prevented me from seeing a counsellor n therapist chose to discipline me instead

Especially in high school

I was a bright kid

I’m trying to heal but it seems really Impossible when they are around me I need to leave

They all new stepped in I’ve fell through the cracks constantly & blocked from help regarded as dead weight once my purpose was served

I was pretty much their person slave to make money of off and Pimp

I get angry at men for this reason & people who support these men

And the systems that maintain these structures, healthcare systems, hospitals, mental health care

People don’t see use as human we are commodified machines to program to their command

I want to change it so bad, I’m suffering & been

Trying to look for the right community to fight these injustices with

But it lead me to be homeless, broke, severely disabled n sick again

I dissociate a lot, I have a lot of unexplained scars all over my body

I was pretty much tortured for not being born the standard to breed & pass wealth through the patriarchy standard

Not a man

I’m neither a woman

Im a person with Asperger’s severely traumatized to the point I’ve developed

All these disorders as a coping mechanisms & it’s rearing it’s ugly head

I see patterns everywhere, I make the write connections put it in to my art at times

And post on social media to document my abuse & trauma link it to the major institutional issues as journal

But I didn’t want to be constantly taken advantage of

No one gave me money to leave this place

I’m still withering away I think they are slowly trying to kill me

Idk maybe I do deserve it

They hid so much that I only had pictures of my time there but wasn’t given any context until I heard stories

It would conjure up these bad experiences I’d get do suicidal because I had no way out

No one listened, my entire family full of narcissists only cared about the money they could make & show off

I know it’s alot but if you really want to help me i really need funds

I’m unable to work

It’s getting difficult to get up & be motivated n not just wither away they leave for that wedding soon

They have been spying on what I’m doing because they forget I hate weddings i have trauma from it

But they kept pestering, i dont want to get myself killed honestly

They have weapons

I just want to make art & survive

No one helped but only helped themselves.

I wish they did more they always made excuses

I’m hungry sometimes it’s extremely hard to sleep because I’m up night but idk why

Just don’t tell them I posted. I DONT WANT TO ENGAGE. I WANT TO THROW THINGS AT THEM WHEN THEIR AROUND THEY RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE WTF

0$ to my name now how’s that a story for a starving artist

~ Preet

As you can tell, yes I am a Marxist

As one does on a Sunday afternoon staring into a void at the bus stop, I caught myself re-analyzing my whole life through a Marxist perspective. I’ve realized how destructive living under this capitalist system is, especially when you are the most vulnerable.

It keeps you alienated, trapped and nihilistic to any change or progress of any sort, I found myself stuck there for the longest time with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, number of chronic health conditions & difficult home life I felt stuck and suffocated. I felt the pressure on me accumulate to the point I had enough and revolted in a sense of throwing away the nihilism head first into fighting my way out to change my situation. Time and time, one thing after another sometimes wanting to completely give up, but thankfully Marxism has showed me that the oppressed people can overcome anything especially with the support of others just like them.

I’m really grateful for all the support I’ve gotten from my comrades and my best friends I don’t know how I’d get to the state I’m at without them.