a wasp that makes you gay

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab

it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop

it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus

🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.

behindthename.com:

FIFTY THOU--hold on a sec I gotta find someone

YOU. @glowingvenus. You did this to me. I had been on this godforsaken site for two weeks when I made this post. I had no idea. No idea what you were dooming me to. AND ON FREDDIE MERCURY'S BIRTHDAY NO LESS.

😭

I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

So true. Food is literally what we use to tell animals we won't hurt them. We give them food and then don't do anything to them and the animal learns you're a cool dude, and becomes open to bonding. When you bond, you Know your pet loves you. It's the primary way we get feral kittens to start trusting humans. It's no different really with people and how we come together, we bond over meals all the fucking time.

Also like. There is no higher praise than knowing an animal feels safe enough to come to you with their basic needs. That's why I like when it's cold and my cat comes to sit on my chest. She could go directly to the heater and often does when I'm at work, but does the heater cuddle back? Does it thumb rub her ears and talk to her in a voice she recognizes as contented and pleased?

babe wake up there's an official sequel to the bus meme

[deep down we are the same person]

Source is brazilian artist Genildo on twitter, his donation link is included

more from the artist:

brazilians are the biggest contributors to the world's meme economy and it's good to see us getting the credit we deserve

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

DJ bunny rabbit has got the whole club burrowing into the soft loam of the dance floor

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

Therapy dog Cass is an abomination but Cass absolutely would be that friend who notices whenever someone's going through it and wants to do something to help. The issue being she's really bad at this so she just thinks of what always makes her happy and winds up shoving a chocolate ice cream cone in their face and blurting out, "hey, feel better. Okay?" in a way that sounds a lot more like a threat than a reassurance before quickly grappling away to avoid further awkwardness.

She does her best but if you have her actually being a successful therapist who everyone agrees knows how to comfort all the family then she's not Cass. Her get well soon card for Alfred says "I will feel sad until you are better." 😭

So, there's a lot of USians around who are very clearly fucking fed up with their political choices this election cycle, and planning to sit it out.

And I get it! What's the point of voting if there's no one to vote for?

The thing is, I'm Australian. In Australia, voting is compulsory. We don't get to sit out our elections, and I'll be real honest with you - we don't exactly get better choices than you lot. So how do you vote if there's no one to vote for? You find someone to vote against. And there's always someone to vote against.

Now, we have the pleasure of preferential voting in Australia - We get to rank every candidate from 1 to X, and I'll tell you, there's something so cathartic about putting the biggest bastard of the lot at the very bottom of your preferences. I understand that USians don't get that option - you get to mark one person, and that's it.

That means that you get one shot, so aim it at the biggest bastard of the lot. The candidate you most utterly detest. Put your vote in the worst possible place for them. Don't even think about who that vote's going towards, that's not the point. Remember, every vote is a vote against someone. Make sure you fuck up that someone's election day!

please make every effort to vote <3

Voter suppression is a real problem!! I know so many people in real life that are LGBTQ and or left leaning irl that seem to think theres no hope and dont bother to vote! Its insane!!

the best part of this post is undeniably that it was made by toby fox

it’s the perfect date.