i put on my robe and wizard hat

this bit will be the death of me

imagine being so autistic you almost choose being a murderer as your carrer path. i love him.

i cant stand adventuring with necromancers 🤦‍♂️. you know what really gets to me? they never TELL you they're a necromancer. they always use some normal spells at first. like ice spike and shit. and then you turn around to look at your party and you notice there's one extra person there. yeeep. they resurrected the researcher that died before us and left a journal warning us of the incoming dangers at the dungeon. and you know you can't tell them shit. you hurt a wizards' feelings and they fireball you into a pile of dust while you're sleeping and cook a potion with your ashes. 🤦‍♂️

and before anyone says anything i dont have anything against conjurers. just wish more of them had the common fucking sense to summon elemental spirits or whatever.

chilchuck moment

the laios effect

It really is gutpunch after gutpunch

I went to the library to borrow some DVDs we're planning to watch, but when I handed the librarian my card, it took me a solid 15 seconds to register that I handed her my fucking weed card.

Me, fumbling to swap it out: "OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY, I was on total autopilot!!"

The librarian: "It's all good, I just assumed it was a flex."

#did the exact opposite of this the other day when I handed the cashier at a book store my library card instead of my credit card#and we both just stared at in confusion for a solid 15 seconds before I went oh fuck I can’t use that here#and she said ‘oh I’m glad that was unintentional bc I thought I was gonna have to explain some hard truths about bookstores to you’ fhshsgag via @formereldestdaughter

we are the same, u and i.

i can't be trusted with sour gummies i'm guzzling this shit down like a hog that's tasted blood

yeah lemme scan this qr code to a site i don't know with who knows what kinda trackers so i can see what kinda burgers you got, hell no give me a physical goddamn menu loser

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes

“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”

and friend got kinda mad at me lmao

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

Fuck his dad

@bay7let