there’s an ache in you (put there by the ache in me) — a darklina fanfiction
Alina flies home for Christmas, mortified to find her ex-fiancé is the one picking her up at the airport.
or: a tragic breakup AU
3/4 chapters | 12.8k words | explicit
“With dispassionate despair, with entire disillusionment, I surveyed the dust dance; my life, my friends’ lives, and those fabulous presences, men with brooms, women writing, the willow tree by the river - clouds and phantoms made of dust too, of dust that changed, as clouds lose and gain and take gold or red and lose their summits and billow this way and that, mutable, vain.”
— Virginia Woolf, The Waves
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yall mind if i preemptively grieve what i still have yet to lose
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Alina Starkov Shadow And Bone | 1.04 — “Otkazat'sya”
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Anne Carson, “Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides” / George William Joy, “Sleeping Joan of Arc” / Andrei Tarkovsky / Anne Sexton / “Martyrdom of Saint Sebastian”, Il Sodoma / Caroline Walker Bynum, “The Holy Feast and the Holy Fast” / “St. Denis Picking up His Head”, 19th century Panthéon murals / Margaret Atwood, “Half Hanged Mary”
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Get out of my head. Why must you be so difficult?
SHADOW AND BONE — 2.04 “Every Monstrous Thing”
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daddy has to be honest kitten. i think we're going to have to sublease and turn the sex dungeon into a bedroom again. the rent is going up and your asmr slime youtube isnt taking off like we thought it would
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im like if a girl thought she was irredeemable despite never having done anything that should make her feel this way
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every song is a ship song if you’re in too deep
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Surely this cup of coffee will bring all my loved ones near me and also bring back my youthful curiosity for the world and what i can do in my brief time in
it
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Janet is peak gender. She’s feminine, uses she/her pronouns, but her gender is just “not a girl”
I love music by straight women that is moving and genius and profound but you can tell the guy shes talking about is literally not ensouled and shes fucking completely imagining 95% of what shes talking about. I love your beautiful mind angel
#absolutely losing it at 'not ensouled' ajksdfkjfkjf#but yeah#lorde#mitski#lana#many such cases#literally wdym you look up at the gaps of sunlight and you miss him more than ANYTHING??#love and light . but that's crazy <3#at least ldr gave us 'you're just a man' like i believe u my queen he really IS just a man#anyway not to sound like an infamous personal essay published by The Cut but…#i think a huge part of it is women are conditioned to see the good in men and be forgiving of their faults in the name of love#and men just…don’t have to do that. bc patriarchy#idk perchance this is all obvious and i'm saying something we all know. whatever (lies in bed staring at ceiling all night)
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“If only I’d known you’d prove such an apt pupil.” His voice was genuinely admiring, almost surprised. To my horror, I found that pathetic orphaned part of me taking pleasure in his praise. “Why come to me now?” he asked. “Has it taken you this long to recover from our skirmish?”
If that had been a mere skirmish, then we really were lost. No, I told myself. He’d chosen that word deliberately, to intimidate me.
I ignored his question and said, “I didn’t expect compliments.”
“No?”
“I left you buried beneath a pile of rubble.”
“And if I told you I respect your ruthlessness?”
“I don’t think I’d believe you.”
The barest smile touched his lips. “An apt pupil,” he repeated
#GOD it's true what they say-- be careful what you become obsessed with at 14 bc seeing these moments still makes me INSANE#is this forever? do i just miss them forever????#book darklina you are so precious to me no one else will ever do it like you#anyway. falls off stage and dies#shadow and bone#otp: he was my monster too#thank you op i needed this today! stellar scene and quote choice
