WHEN THAT ONE SERVER COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING BROKE BUT IS THE FIRST ONE TO GIVE UP THEIR SHIFT

I’M JUST LIKE:

Starbucks employees doing Halloween correctly

Frodo

Frodo goes up to the counter and tries and fails to order a cup of tea. Samwise, who is accompanying him, says, “Master Frodo will have a grande green tea with room for cream, please.” The barista hands the cup to Frodo, and the entire shop cheers. “Huzzah!” they cry. “Look at Frodo Baggins, ordering that cup of tea all by himself!” Later, Sam puts out a fire in the kitchen and Frodo is given the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Customer: Can I get a Pumpkin Frappuccino but hot? I can’t.

Whoever said “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” clearly never worked with the general public.

e.e. cummings

                                                                                          up

e.e. cummings     g              o              e                s

to the counter &orders

an icedvanillalatte

he

       sits.

                                                                                              waits.

                     onetwothreefourfive minutes

until the baristalady   w h i s t l e s   his name—

"how do you like your coffee, mr. poet?"

Starbies partners-

Can we just create some vile “secret menu” items and start spreading them around and see who will come and and order a “blueberry panda” frappé with 11 pumps peppermint, 6 butters, and Worcestershire sauce served upside down in a red bell pepper

THIS

when you call in to work and your coworker answers the phone in their peppy work voice then realizes its you and goes back to sounding just as dead inside as you are

Gather round children, for I am about to drop some goddamn knowledge.

I am a Starbucks Barista. I toil around a espresso machine the size of a fucking car, I go into battle with temperamental blenders and customers alike, I burn my self and cut myself daily, all so I can deliver you delicious…

Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket goes up to the counter and orders a caffé Americano. It is bitter. The barista is armed. The man in the corner has poisoned someone’s drink. The espresso machine is on fire. Lemony Snicket begins to run down the street as the Starbucks explodes. He is being chased. He spills his coffee.