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undead princess

@his-zombie-princess / his-zombie-princess.tumblr.com

my little blog c: cute weird nerdy shit
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horns-and-claws

things about cuddling that fanfictions often fail to mention:

  • “move my arm is falling asleep”
  • “i can’t breathe”
  • “just jam your knee right up my crotch. this is fine”
  • “omg get up you’re taking up the whole bed”
  • “did you just fart” “yes” “it’s okay. release your demons”
  • “did you just fart” “yes” “okay.” *ten seconds later* “AUGH”
  • “you’ve got bad breath” “omg do i really” “yes” “i’m so sorry” “it’s okay”
  • *hand is accidentally on a boob/nipple/genital* “omg don’t move”/”omg i’m so sorry”
  • *can hear the other’s tummy gurgle*
  • “i’m hungry” “i’m not moving”
  • “i have to pee” “nooooooo”
  • *right as one person is about to fall asleep, one of their body parts jerk and it scares the poop out of the other person*
  • *hours later when they’ve both fallen asleep and are no longer cuddling, one person stretches and softly punches the other in the face*

bonus:

  • “do you remember when you used to think you were straight”
  • “do you remember when we thought we were just friends”
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geekandmisandry
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misandry-mermaid
Gentlemen! Let’s play a little game. I call it “Creep or Normal Guy?” The way you play is you have less than a second to decide whether a man you don’t know is a threat or not. If you identify a normal guy as a threat you could get called a bitch; if you identify a creep as a normal guy you could end up dead. This is fun, isn’t it? Now play it every day, with nearly every man you see, in nearly every situation you’re in, from the time puberty hits to … well, I turned 38 this week. Can someone tell me when I can stop playing?

Wild tells the story of every woman’s least favorite game: ‘creep or normal guy?’ (via oeste)

Failed this game once, ended up getting stalked. yaaaaaaay.

(via fractiousrvt)

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imawitchywitch
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all-impurity

Amethyst is a crystal of sobriety, which can be interpreted in a plethora of ways. To me, that means bringing clarity and understanding. To bring one a sober mind. An imperative part to having clarity is to listen to yourself, trust yourself and then act accordingly. It’s easy to ignore how we feel and get caught in the everyday motions of life but that makes us lost and, in time, disconnected. I hope you remember to listen to yourself more in the upcoming new year & remember that you deserve the best.

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artiependragons

Why the hell was there a black guy in Maleficent?

These people are living in medieval Europe very far detached from any sort of ocean or sea. I’d be amazed if they had even invented a boat yet. Where the hell did the black guy come from?

there were fairies, monsters created from roots, and a fucking crow that could shapeshift into a man in Maleficent and the most unrealistic thing to you in the entire movie was a black guy

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pardonmewhileipanic

This week on 

*audience chants*

SPOT!    THE!    RAAACCIIIISTTTTT!!!! 

THE FUCKIN’ REAAAAACH.

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anothercleverjedimindtrick

hahaha

But black people did live in Europe before slavery like wtf they were Moors Read a book

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mangoluvah

This is why education is so important, people!

Where is that “black people weren’t invented yet” gif?

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lampareaux

Reblogging because this person DEAD ASS found the gif 😭

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slytherinvalues-replies
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bob-belcher

does anyone else get really anxious when the cashier hands you change and you’re hurriedly putting it away in your wallet so that the next customer in line can proceed or is that just me

i don’t even put it in my wallet, i just crumple everything and throw it in the bag before the anxiety bomb goes off

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possessedcreampuff

as the cashier i am here to tell you that everything is okay and theres no need to rush darlings

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