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I am, I am, I am.

@alcatrazlovers / alcatrazlovers.tumblr.com

I'm Bethany, and I am a 26 year old gal from Glasgow, Scotland. She/her.My Tumblr is 18+, due to some of the content I reblog and like. I have crohns, and will be happy to answer any questions you may have!πŸ₯―🐝
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i can't get rid of that feeling that i wasn't made for this world. my brain has malfunctioned, i'm an error. i shouldn't be here

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mclennonyaoi

anyway im stressed about my future and needed practice drawing hands, so.

a LOT of people are reblogging this as of late. y’all ok?

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dadbodbobby

No

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swarmkeepers

[ID: Comic featuring drawings of hands on a gradient white to teal background. The panels are outlined with rounded corners.

Two empty hands, held out. β€œi don’t really have any β€˜useful’ skills.”

a hand holds up a threaded needle. β€œi like to sew, i guess.”

β€œi like to paint.” a hand draws a blue line with a paintbrush. β€œbut the starving artist market is flooded as is.”

β€œi like to sing. i like to dance. neither of those things I could even consider doing for a living.” the hand rests on a surface, as if for support.

the last four sentences form a staircase. every other one is in italics. β€œisn’t it just enough to enjoy something? do i have to turn it into something i can monetize? isn’t it enough to just be bad at something? do i have to be great to be happy?”

β€œi dunno.” /End ID]

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I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all.Β 

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alexcabotgf

Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β SAVIOR COMPLEX

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I most likely need to quit my job because it’s flaring up my depression and Crohn’s so badly I can’t function, and my work gives me so much anxiety that I wake up in the morning shaking.

Which means I’m going to be worried about money, and will most likely need to use the money in my savings account that I have been saving for years.

I feel like such a failure.

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it is not morally wrong to not be able to work, go to school, do heavy labor, walk long distances, or even walk at all. you haven’t done anything wrong, and you can’t help having these problems with your body. able-bodied people need to stop assigning moral value to things many disabled people cannot do. you are not a bad person for having limits, or for knowing and respecting them.

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