Bitch, I'm fabulous!

3 kinds of ADHD distractions:

when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right

that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?

had to draw it

a few people pointed out that they probably wouldn’t understand what they were saying and just mimicking whatever sounds they happen to hear so I wanted to add this

Would you like to buy his wares?

Of course

god is real

Eugene gets me

How clearly does the point need to be made that "police officer" is just a fucking job, one with minimal training and minimal monitoring. It is NOT some kind of promise of honesty, truth, or heroism. It is a bunch of assistant managers with extremely powerful weapons. IF you can understand "pedophiles choose to be priests and teachers so they can get to children", IF you understand "arsonists choose to be firefighters so they can be present at their own crimes" - then you can ALSO understand "people who are bigoted, violent, and power-hungry choose to be cops for the opportunities the job presents" and you can ALSO understand "any occupational culture that chooses fraternity over justice - and the allowance of violence in the name of a unified front - is therefore siding with their worst representatives"

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Nintendo is literally stalking people they don't like and building dossiers on them.

Source

They literally have a profile on this dude including where he lives, where his family lives, when he leaves his house, etc. This is fucking horrifying. Fuck Nintendo.

Nintendo representative confronting me in the club after I uploaded a pokemon romhack online

Okay but this is legitimately frightening.

Who had “Nintendo hit squads are ACTUALLY A THING” for December?

i hope everyone with acne, eczema, vitiligo, psoriasis, dermatitis, dermatillomania, and skin conditions have a good day today

hold the fuck up I just noticed there’s an apple juice emoji

SCREAMING

Thats a GRAPE JUICE BOXBDBDBDND

OH SHIT.

God I wish I could have some apple juice :(

what the shit is this????? boiled egg????? boiled egg juice???

its orange juice clearly

Is appl

J Ü C E

Juicebox tower of Babel

Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes

The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is

what if……..some things get better in 2021……..it is a possibility.

My friends. Being cautiously optimistic does not ”jinx” anything. There is no force in the universe which punishes us for having hope. There is no god waiting for us to stand up in order to knock us back down. If things do not get better, make no mistake, the only beings who are consciously sabotaging us are those humans denying us financial aid and health care. They are only people, and they can be defeated.

I will continue to hope.

It is borderline shameful how loud I just laughed.

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

i want all police sirens to be replaced with thsi audio

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

I really needed this

I’m bringing this back for December to remind everyone.

You did not waste your year.

If you made it this far, that’s already not wasting your year.

You made it through the year, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you saw the sun and felt the rain, and most importantly, you’re still here.

You did not waste your year.

You mad it this far, and I’m proud of you.

My mom sent this to me and i’m howling

White woman: Hi fellow white people. Are you having a sad because that family is enjoying a picnic in the park while being black? Did that customer in front of you just speak a language that makes you irrationally angry? Well this is a great time to try *holds up bottle* Mind Your Own Fucking Business. With Mind Your Own Fucking Business you’ll be able to grow the fuck up and act like a decent fucking human being. Our patented technology allows you to pull your head out of your ass and see the world beyond the brim of your MAGA hat.

White man: Hi honey, I saw some black people at the Starbucks today.

Woman: Did you mind your own fucking business?

Man: I sure fucking did.

*both laughing*

Woman: Stop bothering those nice people today with Mind Your Own Fucking Business.

Man: Side effects may include not harassing people, no one getting arrested or murdered by police, a general sense of well-being for people of color, a lack of Internet fame and or trolling, and coexistence. Please consult a doctor if you are still a piece of shit after Minding Your Own Fucking Business as the symptoms may be result of a deeper problem and require further treatment.

Woman: Now available at Anthropology in Whole Foods.

[Censoring beeps removed for better readability.]

New York, 1992