“I wouldn’t expect my allowance until we had an agreement obviously, but I’m simply asking for a generous token to show that you are a legitimate SD. I’ve been unfortunate to have ended up in negative situations before and so you can understand why I would insist on something at the time of our meeting to ensure your legitimacy."
- Me (How to get a present/money from a POT)
Hey sugar! I am new to the sugar bowl and it seems like every man on SA is a total Splenda or salt daddy. How were you able to talk your POT into giving you money for the first meets? Thanks for your reply babe ❤️
there’s a few ways that you can use to get money (or a gift)on a first meet, but these are the two that I prefer to use. keep sugaring, dolly xoxo
method one: ask directly for a gift
i actually tend to favor this one and use it a lot because i find it’s the best at gauging what type of SD the POT will be (based on the gift they bring) . i usually say something along the lines of:
I’m really looking forward to x (tomorrow’s, today’s, Friday’s, etc) date, from our conversation alone I feel as though we’ll get along well! I do have a slight request though, nothing extreme of course, but something that I’m sure will assure the both of us that we want the same thing.
It would be wonderful if you could bring a gift, of sorts, to our meeting. It can be absolutely anything you like (perfume, jewelry, a bag, or even cash if you prefer) but this will greatly help me understand that you are willing to spend money on me and provide me with the resources or things I would like. It’s not mandatory, not at all, but it really will help me understand the type of arrangement we would have. Looking forward to seeing you! x
method two: ask for your travel expenses to be compensated
this one is a bit simpler and more straight forward, but it’s a sure way of making some money on a first meet. i usually say something along the lines of:
I’m really looking forward to x (tomorrow’s, today’s, Friday’s, etc) but I’ve been wondering if perhaps you could help me out with my travel expenses? I’ll be taking x (if by train then describe which train you’re taking and which transfers you’re taking if you have any, if by bus then describe which bus you’re taking and if you have any transfers, if by taxi state the estimated time it’ll take to get to your meeting location) and I’d greatly appreciate your help. Looking forward to seeing you! x
A few examples, and in no particular order:
1. What has influenced your decision to want an SB?
2. How long have you been searching for one, and which sites did you use?
3. Have you had any negative experiences with Sugaring? Either in your search for one, or in your previous arrangement?
4. Are there people that you don’t like? What characteristics was it about them, that you didn’t like/enjoy?
5. Where do you consider to be good places for an SD/SB to be romantic?
6. What are some ways that you get embarrassed in public?
7. Are you ever bored? What type of people bore you?
8. What are good leisure activities that you would like for us to try together?
9. Are you okay with me dating others while we are in an arrangement?
10. What is your definition of emotional intimacy?
11. Where and when did you meet your wife/girlfriend? What drew you to her?
12. What sort of future financial plans and goals do you have?
13. What is your biggest goal in starting an arrangement?
14. Have you thought about the ramifications of your actions on your family, co-workers and friends?
15. Tell me what precautions you are going to take to ensure that our arrangement is kept private?
16. What you would do if we ran into someone either of us knew, while out together?
17. What would you want me to do?
18. What are the most important things in life? What do you value?
19. What questions would you like me to answer?
20. What are your bad/good habits?
21. What is your opinion of me being a different nationality or following different religious briefs than yours?
22. What would you do to leave a positive impression on our first date? And future dates?
23. What would your perfect arrangement consist of?
24. What is your opinion of us abstaining from sexual intimacy within our arrangement, even though I am not a virgin?
25. Can you explain to me how a Sugaring arrangement is different than a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship?
26. Do you believe that its possible to have emotional intimacy without physical intimacy?
27. Do you still have feelings for an ex, wife, girlfriend or previous SB?
28. How long did your previous arrangement/relationship last?
29. Do you regret any of those intimate experiences with that person?
30. What are your expectations of intimacy and sexual relations with me? How do they differ from your previous SB etc.
31. Should I be fearful, jealous or envious of any of your previous arrangements, and the different opportunities that you have shared with them?
32. Do you usually follow your heart or your head?
33. What is your opinion about me hanging out with other Sugar Babies and their SD’s, or in places that SD’s frequent?
34. Do you think that someone’s past matters in a current arrangement?
35. How would you react if I told you that I can not meet your daily needs for communication?
36. Do you believe in privacy, even while being open with each other in an arrangement?
37. Do you have any opinions about me working a part time job? What if it takes my time away from you?
38. Do you have any hobbies that you’d like for us to share?
39. Have you ever experimented with legal/illegal drugs? Do you currently?
40. Do you have children? What do you think the impact would be on them if our arrangement was made public?
41. What communication methods do you prefer? What are the most private and effect modes?
42. What is something weird about you, or that you’re afraid to tell me?
43. Tell me something about your work, that isn’t common knowledge.
44. If your friends or co-workers don’t like me for some reason, is that a deal breaker?
45. Have you ever had a one night stand? If you did, do you regret it? Would you do it again if you knew you wouldn’t get caught?
46. How long would your ideal arrangement last?
47. Do you have a criminal record, or any contraction of diseases?
48. I don’t, but would it change your opinion of me if I had one?
49. Are you willing to lose time from your family and friends, in order to see me?
50. How did you discover Sugaring?
51. Do any of your friends have Sugar Babies?
52. What do you think about continuing the search for an Sd/SB, after you’ve recently started an arrangement with one?
53. Do you think love within an arrangement is possible?
54. If your job (or wife) started to have a negative impact on our arrangement, what would you do?
55. How do you handle feelings of jealousy or resentment?
56. Do you have any regrets in life or in past arrangements?
57. What is your ideal vacation/weekend get away?
58. Will we be taking any together?
59. What are your expectations of my free time and our time spent together?
60. If you are allowed to do just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
61. What are some things that you take pride in?
62. What is the most difficult component for you, in an arrangement?
63. What happens if we exchange pictures, and down the road decide not to continue our arrangement? How will they be used, shared, kept or destroyed?
64. Would you be ok with me making plans with my friends, on a night that you are free to see me?
65. Will you be OK with me hanging out with you and your friends?
66. If you could change something about females in general, what would it be?
67. What is your opinion on the arts? Do you want to visit museums and galleries together?
68. Do you read the newspaper? How do you stay up on current events?
69. What are you looking for in the long term and short term?
70. If you had three Sugaring rules, what would they be?
71. Which aspect to Sugaring scares you or makes you the most nervous?
72. Are you typically late to events and dates, or end up rescheduling at the last minute?
73. Who has been the most influential person for you so far in life?
74. What are some places that we will definitely need to avoid being seen together?
75. What are some places that we would be safe to visit/experience together?
76. What is the best advice you ever received?
77. What advice would you give to me, regarding Sugaring and life in general?
78. If you had a previous arrangement, why did it end?
79. Are you still friends with that person?
80. Without getting too personal, what were some good moments in that relationship?
81. What were some of the craziest things that you’ve done with her? And some of the sweetest?
82. What will you have accomplished at work one year from now and within our arrangement?
83. If you/we could go on a road trip where would you chose to go? Would I have a say or just be expected to come along on a whim?
84. Are you prepared to respect, and are you comfortable with accepting my school and study schedule?
85. Have you thought about using code names, or certain apps that will keep our communication/contact private?
86. Can you tell me 3 good points about me?
87. What are your expectations of me in our arrangement?
88. What happens if I can not agree or live up to all of them?
89. Have you ever wanted something really bad and then later, not so much? Do you get discouraged easily?
90. Is there anything I could do to make you think that I am an ungrateful or selfish person?
91. What would you do if our communication and dates were limited to set days and periods of times during the day/week/month?
92. Do you like to go window shopping, or are you the type who needs to buy an item?
93. After I had asked you for our first date, was there any part of you that wanted to say no? Why?
94. What are some activities or places, that you would like to do/go on for dates that you haven’t been before?
95. What are your views on open arrangements? Do you know what an open relationship is?
96. What are your future/5 year plans with your wife or girlfriend? Maybe more kids, more travelling etc. How can I help you to achieve this?
97. Is money more important to you or are the relationships you share with people more important?
98. What are some things that you are either passionate about, or anger you?
99. Do you believe that long distance arrangements can work? What about those that are not long in distance but long in the duration between dates?
100. What are your thoughts relating to Sugar Babies as Sex Workers?
This isn’t an end-all-be-all list, as it would go on and on forever…but rather just an idea to get the ball rolling.
Please add on if you want!
“I wouldn’t expect my allowance until we had an agreement obviously, but I’m simply asking for a generous token to show that you are a legitimate SD. I’ve been unfortunate to have ended up in negative situations before and so you can understand why I would insist on something at the time of our meeting to ensure your legitimacy.“
- Me (How to get a present/money from a POT)
More tips from another wonderful sb ;)
you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog
Couldn’t risk it.
didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
Here’s something that’s been in my drafts folder for a while. Based on some of the posts I’ve read recently, I think it might come in handy…PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE. READ CRITICALLY. Take bits and pieces, make it your own, or summarize it in some way as a come back for those messages, texts, or dinner dates.
Him: Hi. Thanks for reaching out to my earlier message. Your pics are beautiful. While I completely understand the importance of chemistry…but should we get to a point where this matters, I’m a little uncomfortable with having our relationship defined by allowances. As I said in my profile, I am quite generous, and understand the importance of ‘spoiling my partner’ but still, the set allowance would probably not work for me. I hope you understand my thoughts….
Me: Thank you for your thoughts. I understand that you are in search of an escape and so am I. My escape would involve a real connection and a refined lifestyle. I am a little uncomfortable with having a relationship that is only defined by sex… especially when the guy is attached and somewhat unavailable. I’m a beautiful young woman with no lack of suitors. I have a busy social life and I’m currently working to build a business/ pursuing my degree. I chose this kind of relationship in part because I have so little time for love. That’s not to say that my (romantic) time is not very valuable to me. It is. What I don’t value are shoes, handbags, and/or expensive dinners. These are things that I can purchase myself. Furthermore, these do nothing for me in the long run as much as say you investing in my company/ education would. I hope you understand that I’d need tangible showings… actions that illustrate I am valued… that my companion wants to put a smile on my face/ make me feel special/wants the best for me. AN ALLOWANCE WOULD DO THAT FOR ME. By the same token, I want my companion to feel comfortable telling me specifically how I could put a smile on his face/make HIM feel special/ valued. In any case, I am a rare catch and therefore am in no rush to find the man who “gets it” and me. Good luck on your search!
Now doesn’t this sound better than saying “Bitch Please! I am hot and young and you want me to spend my time on your old ass while your wife gets the unlimited credit card and I get nada! FUCK YOU!”
I’ve been looking for this post!!
*** Warning: Only try this with the sugardaddies you actually like and feel some attachment too. And definitely trust ***
Please heed the warning or you will crash and burn if you attempt the following.
PREPARE YOUR MEETING PLACE: If you’re regularly meeting at a hotel room, get daddy to get you a prepaid card so that you can go ahead and rent the room ahead of your visit. This will save him the trouble of doing it and allow you a chance to control your interaction. A lot of escorts do this for that very same reason: control. For him, the businessman or exec who’s dealing with all kinds of shit this takes some pressure off him. What you have to understand about a successful man is that he’s always under pressure. He’s getting beat to shit daily from work, life, and home and he’s probably middle-aged meaning half of daddy’s life is already gone. Daunting. You need to be the calming voice in his life. When he gets there, of course be in your best lingerie, smelling good, etc, with the sheets pulled back on the bed. Or, answer the door naked, in a pair of red bottoms, etc. Or, ask to keep one of his ties for a souvenir on a previous date and when your next visit at the room arrived, have it on and nothing else.
If you host your visits at your residence, then ask daddy what kind of snack he likes. Fruit? Have some strawberries or grapes waiting for him when he comes over. He likes wine, etc.,? Have a glass poured. You can enjoy glass too. Its ok. If you have a problem drinking with daddy, refer to my warning above. :)
RELAX HIM: Give daddy a massage. Not an hour, just 10 minutes to break him down. This is a good time to ask for shit. If he has dry skin, bring some oil in your purse. First rub his back, making sure you’re getting in between those shoulder blades, etc. Skip the legs, lower torso etc. Unnecessary. He’s tense from meetings and conference calls all day. Turn him over and rub him briefly on his chest before you work your way down to his love zone. Rub his dick and don’t forget the boys. When he’s nice hard, start fellatio (if you do fellatio). If he doesn’t want a massage or doesn’t have time that’s cool. You need to put it out there anyway.
Time taken: 7 - 10 minutes
LAY YOUR HEAD ON HIS CHEST: After sex, cuddle up next to him and lay your head on his chest. If he has little or no hair this will be easy. If he’s a hairy bastard you might find another place to lay your head but the goal is to cuddle him. Use the hair to your advantage and play with it as you lie there. Twist it in your fingers or some shit. Make him feel like he just pleased you in every way possible. He probably didn’t, but it’s all about the fantasy. This is easy to do if you like him. Refer to my warning above! Say something meaningful like, “That was good daddy.” If you have psychological hang-ups about calling him daddy then say “That was good baby..” or “Mmmm I needed that.” All too often chicks are just lying there side by side with him in her own world. You can remain in your own world just do it cuddling him. This is also a good habit to have when you get married. :)
Time taken: Not applicable
CLEAN HIM UP: Grab a warm damp warm towel, and remove the condom. Wipe up his penis and go put the condom in the toilet. If no condom was used, you can still clean him up if his penis is about stick to his leg. If he’s caught off your guard, or ask what you’re doing, tell him “I’m just taking care of you daddy…” I got this one from several Escorts I’ve seen over the years. Trust me. You want some brownie points? Try it a few times. You can even be cute about it and say, “Gosh, you had a lot in there.” Or my FAVORITE “….I see you’ve been saving up for me. You had a lot!” The latter is perfect for you babies seeing daddy once a week. When you’re done cleaning him up, lay back on him. This is also another good time to ask for shit.
Time taken: 30 - 45 seconds
TASTE IT: Now I might lose a few of you here but it’s my duty to put it out there anyway. While you cleaning him up, put a forefinger in your mouth and say, “Mmm you taste good.” He might pass the hell out. If you’re good at this he won’t know you don’t actually have some cum on your finger. Hopefully, some of you catch what I mean on the latter. :) Or, if you swallow anyway then nothing is wrong with a little protein on your finger and tasting it.
Time taken: 2 seconds
PUT HIS SHIRT ON: If you’re going to be in the hotel room awhile, try this one out. This will kill him. If he wears good smelling cologne capitalize on it. With the shirt on, pull the collar up to your nose and say, “Mmm I love your smell daddy…” You won’t be lying if he wears good cologne. Chances are you already noticed his cologne but you were too much of a bitch to say you smell good. This is the sexiest shit EVER though. Nothing cuter than your 110, 120, 150 lbs ass in his big ass shirt. One of my previous sugarbabies used to do this. Drove me crazy.
Oh and congratulations!!!! Now he’s going to be thinking about you the rest of the day. You’ve inadvertently left your perfume on his shirt. Now he’s gonna be smelling your pretty little ass the rest of the day. Just don’t leave any lipstick!
Take a selfie with the shirt on. Send it to him days later in between your visits.
Time taken: 10 seconds to put on his shirt. Time elapsed before he wants to take it back off and fuck again: 60 seconds. Likelihood of you getting that Celine purse: High.
HELP HIM GET DRESSED: This one is especially important for the busy executive, businessman or man that works in a professional setting and he’s on his lunch break, or on his way home to his vanilla life. No, don’t help him pull his trousers up. But you can help with the belt as you kiss him on the chest. I’m saying as he buttons his shirt, go help him. Help him button the ones on his sleeves as well. And most important help put his tie back on and straighten it and his collar afterwards. Then finish it with a kiss. If you don’t get a chance to do all that, then collect his shoes and socks and bring them to him. Don’t’ try and put those on - that’s just corny. You’ll love his reaction I promise.
Time taken: 30 – 45 seconds
CUDDLE HIM: Recently, I learned something about myself. I read somewhere that one of the reasons why I cheat is because I as a man want to be cuddled and held. I thought this was bullshit but it’s quite true. I know this is contrary to all the SD advice you’ve been getting but take it from a long standing member of the sugar community its true. I’ll explain this one better by giving a real life example. Now when I would first come over, Nebraska and I would sit on her bed and talk and she’d find some way to wrap her legs around and hug me like I was her long lost boyfriend. I was going through some things and it felt good for somebody in this world to seemingly take an interest in my plight. Then, she’d just sit there and stare at me like I was a big piece of steak. Staring at my mouth. When I’d talk too long she’d start taking off my clothes. While she was getting me undressed, she was always say one of these 3 things: “ I know you didn’t’ come here to do all that talking…” or “You just gonna talk?” or my favorite “Or we gonna fuck or not daddy?” One day, after sex I was sitting on the bed and she climbed on the bed, sat down behind me so that I was in between her legs. As I was talking so she kissed me gingerly on my back and also laid her head on my back as we talked. This shit made me feel like a king. When Nebraska and I ended our arrangement she said, “Well I was actually genuinely interested in you…” This is why I mentioned only try these techniques when you have some type of genuine attraction to daddy. Its easier to do and you won’t be faking which will speak volumes.
Time taken: none. You were going to be doing all this talking anyway, just on one side of the bed or side by side as you sat on the bed. The difference here is you’re cuddling him while you do it.
Now, I’m about to drop half of you right here.
LET HIM CUM TWICE: You’re laying there in his arms, listening to his bullshit. Reach down and play with his love while he’s talking. After a moment ask, “You got another round in you daddy?” Regardless of his answer, go down and start blowing him again. It should be cleaned if you followed my advice earlier – clean him up. Anyway, if he said no, he’ll appreciate your dedication and let you try and revive him before he stops you. If he says yes, then its self explanatory. Relax though. Your middle-aged daddy most likely won’t have a second round in him anyway. This METHOD is extremely effective with the sugarbabies that only see their daddy once a week. But, for other arrangements its works quite well too.
A lot of chicks are jumping up, cleaning up and rushing out the door, saying how you have so much to do today. Nothing kills a relationship like feeling like you’re being used (even though you actually are!). But remember, you want him around awhile. This is definitely a powerful tool to make that happen. Sends a clear signal that you’re all about pleasing him. (I hope the latter doesn’t get me in trouble). Trust me. An extra several minutes is cheap time to spend if you knew you’d be getting another 4 - 6 months out of daddy.
Time taken: 5 – 7 minutes
FINISHING TOUCHES: Put the finishing touches on it. When you’ve helped him finish getting dressed, and you know he’s on his way back to work or back to business, when he heads out the door say something encouraging like, “Go get’em baby.“ Or if he told you about some crap going on at work, take the opp to regurgitate it. “Fuck Bob. He’s an asshole. You should have got the promotion.” blah blah. You get the point. The latter can be applied even as you both do a last kiss before you head out the door. Again, it’s all about the finishing touches.
Time taken: 2 seconds
I know some of you are saying, “I ain’t doing all that shit.” But remember you are selling a fantasy. You’re giving the most precious part of your body away. Only to have your average sugardaddy relationship end in 2 to 3 months? All because he’s had his fill of your kitty. I assure you incorporating these techniques into your visits with daddy will go a long way and add months onto your relationship. This will help keep him coming back for more and more. Another way to put it, why not hook daddy for several months or even a few years and milk him dry (no pun intended) with just a few extra things?
I put the time on the end of these sections to show how long these little techniques actually take. Like I always say just a little extra goes a LONG way. These simple yet EXTREMELY effective techniques WILL prolong your sugar relationship. So why not incorporate them into your experience? I GUARANTEE daddy will respond to this stuff. I know because I’ve had it all done to me before and it blew me away then and it blows me away now as I type!
Damn I’m horny now. And my visit with sugarbaby isn’t for a few days.
Time to close the office door and get in a little pornhub and redtube.
● “Ugh, yes I totally understand what ypu mean. I hate feeling transactional. There are so many men who are willing to just toss cash at me in exchange for a specific something, but what’s really hard to find is a man who also respects my time and who I can connect with. I want allowance, but also someone who I enjoy as a companion…” ● “Oh I hated to trouble the man I was previously with, so we did cash allowances on a set date each month. It saved both him and I trouble in terms of tax purposes, and having to bother him constantly whenever I needed financial support for a thing here or there throughout the month was just not something I wanted to do all the time, hence the allowance on a set date.” ● “Cash allowances (instead of bank wire transfers) give me greater financial freedom. I find with a cash allowance I can divide up my finances to satisfy various needs for that month. Cash is so flexible.” ● “You’re so handsome/intelligent/witty/so much easier to talk to and have a good time with than some of the other men I’ve met from the site!” ● (In reply to the question “How are you finding the site/what are some messages you’ve gotten, etc.?”) “The site works so well! My inbox is just flooded with messages (it’s really not LOL) and it takes so much time to go through all of them, so honestly I have to screen them the best I can and reply to only some, and then from there I have to carefully pick out who to meet for safety reasons etc. Sometimes it’s overwhelming as there are so many nice and generous men, and just not enough time in the day to meet up with them all!” (At this point he thinks he’s some hot shit, but also hopefully realizes how lucky he is and better work for it to keep himself in your good graces. Don’t let him feel too much like he’s hot shit, because he’s not. He’s usually just plain shit, even if he ends up being an SD). ● (At the end of the date if you are heading home and parting ways/not sharing Uber or Taxi) “This was fun! Let’s do it again sometime/some bullshit variation. Could you help me (not “Do you mind helping me”) get a ride home?“ If he is too dumb to take this simple and overused hint for “Pay my taxi/uber home bitch”, then he is too stupid to do much else, much less spoil you properly. Dump his ass. Delete his number. Date just automatically should equal meal and dessert, and maybe even another meal to take home 😂 (going to try this one this week LOL “To fuel my late night studying, so hard /sobsob/”) and definitely also ride back home. Ride there is different story, choose the cheapest ride there unless you plan to have him compensate you, which most men won’t want to do.
callie-the-calico thanks 😂 I try. These have all worked pretty consistently/have gotten a good reaction/steered men the way I want them to go thus far
👌
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 my bullshit game dramatically improved over the last 6 months it’s terrifying
I love “I hated to trouble the man I was previously with…” because I always use “I’m just not good at asking for money, especially when I need it most. I’m a very independent person, and it’s not like me to be needy, etc., etc.” to kind of boost that “not in it for the money” persona. I’m learning more and more to make all of my answers about them, always turning the questions back to them and how it affects them.
EXIF data in photos contains tags, for instance, location, name of camera owner, etc.
Use a tool to remove your EXIF data before you upload any pics. The info is not always removed by sites like SA.
How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.
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Why are sds viewing my profile but not actually contacting me on SA help pleaseeeeeee!!!!!
It can be very frustrating to know that people have checked out your profile, but for some reason or another, they aren’t taking any steps to contact you. And you’re sitting there proof reading your writing for spelling errors and can’t seem to figure it out…
It could be for many reasons, but here’s a few reasons:
1) Your profile may lack information. You know that feeling we get when we read a perfect profile and it has all the right boxes checked off: allowance, career, single or married, city they reside in, yearly income, net worth etc etc…but then they couldn’t bother to have even one self written sentence about them? its a big turn off for us…and them as well. Nothing screams lazy and boring, like a blank “About me” area.
2) Your profile might be too generic, especially for an SD who has seen a few before or knows exactly what he is looking for. Try thinking outside of the box! If you write the proverbial “I’m seeking a generous Sugar Daddy, who knows how to treat a lady right, and knows how to spoil his princess. I like fine dining, travelling, shopping and being pampered. If you take care of me, then I’ll take care of you XoXo”… then good for you, but how’s it working for ya?
Try writing something like this (definitely play with it to tweak it as you see fit!): “Hi! First things first, let me introduce myself. My name is Jen, and I’m currently a student at the U of T. I’m taking classes full time, but would love to share my free time with a respectful, appreciative, funny and charismatic Sugar Daddy, once I find one! I definitely know what I am seeking, and I don’t mind taking my time, as I prefer quality over quantity! With the right SD, I’d like to experience things like: weekend travelling, sporting events, great dinners and sharing special occasions together, whether we are enjoying a spa day, or random simple every day activities. I’m looking for a connection with someone who understands that while we both have busy schedules, we can communicate effectively and plan things to make the most of our times together. I value privacy, discretion and independence, and am hoping to find someone who does as well. I’m seeking a long term arrangement in which I feel respected and supported, with an SD who acknowledges the personal gifts/benefits/skills that I can being to our arrangement…Yadda, yadda, yadda…
3) Your allowance request may not be a feasible option for them, so they see no point in starting any communication with you. If you have checked off the box that says “$5,000 and up” and are getting no bites, there is NO SHAME in changing it up and checking off the box that says “$3,000 and up” etc. It’s like the housing market, a small change in what you are seeking, and the doors could suddenly swing open…you won’t know till you try. Just because you change your allowance request, does not mean that you are lowering your standards, are throwing all your self respect out the window, or that they get a “better deal” from you…they don’t. It just means that if you’re coveting the $5,000 allowance, you may now have to have 2 or 3 SD’s instead of one.
4) There are “pic” collectors lurking everywhere and on every site. They will click on your profile to see if you have any other photos that they can save to their phones and computers…to use later when the mood suits them. Be careful of which photos that you choose to make public and post, especially those that show your face!
5) You simply don’t meet their requirements. The basic facts could be anything from: you don’t like sports or you like them too much, you live at home still, you have a boyfriend, you are only 5’5”, your shoe size is 7 and not a 10, you’re married or you’re not married, your chest is too big or too small, you live too close or too far, you don’t wear make-up or you wear too much, you’re a blonde when he prefers a brunette, you have too many tattoos or you don’t have enough, you asked for “help paying your bills”, your ears are pierced, you’re a virgin or you’re not a virgin…it really could be an endless list. Everyone has different likes, turn-ons and turn-offs. The things that turn us off of some men, are fair game against the things that men are turned off by us for. What a boring world if we all liked the same thing, and we can’t fault them for having preferences like we do.
6) They don’t have “credits” or financial access to actually message you. Each site tends to do things a little differently, and on some sites they have to buy credits to send you an actual message, whereas on another he may have to pay a monthly fee to be able to communicate with you. On some sites like this, men will send you “winks” in the hopes that you’ll initiate communication. He may be just new and testing the waters, he may not know how to hide the statements on his credit card bill from his wife or maybe he’s just flat out cheap lol.
7) Some of your viewers may actually be females, that are checking out their competition…which is your profile. They are curious to see how you’ve worded things, what your allowance request is, your location, the types of photos you use etc. Sugar Babies have been known to create fake Sugar Daddy/male profiles, in order to get a glimpse of their competition. They can use your wording, or lack thereof, to their advantage.
8) The site that you are using has possibly generated “fake” profiles that have supposedly viewed your profile. They do this little scheme in the hopes that you will stay interested in using their site, or will decide to pay certain fees to have access to their high profile members, or to get “featured” so you can get noticed more etc.
9) Your age could be scaring them off. A lot of men, although they like to look at and fantasize about 18 year olds in Catholic skirts etc…they aren’t really willing to cross any lines with one…due to the possible legal ramifications. Sadly, Sugar Babies have been known to “fluff” on their age and list that they are 18 or 19, when in fact they are 16 or 17…and that is a very scary and a very real risk to a potential SD who may have a lot to loose just because some young girl is playing a game to get a bit of money. Their lives, careers and reputations are on the line. Sugaring isn’t a game. So, it could depend on what state/province you live in, and what the legal age of consent is, that may have him being a little hesitant.
10) He could just be shy and cautious. The bottom line is that he could be interested in you, but doesn’t know how to break the ice. It’s as simple as that. Just like we get nervous and need advice on what to say, so do they. No one likes being rejected or facing disappointment, and sometimes it’s easier to sit and wish, than it is to sit and act upon it.
If you see that one person in particular is checking out your profile numerous times, and he still hasn’t made any attempt to connect with you, then by all means, you should take charge! Be the one to break the ice and send him/them a cute little flirty message, that’s simple and doesn’t come off to strong…since you already know they are being cautious. Keep it simple, and ask a few open ended questions, as they are easier digest and will most likely get a response from them!
Good luck!
I’ll be updating this list fairly frequently, so feel free to suggest anything.
Safety first.
Be confident.
Mind Your Manners.
SB/SD websites
Before and During your date
Allowance/Finances
The science of love and sex
Misc.
Holy shit, Lifehackable posted something useful. Except Rohypnol isn’t salty - GHB and other date rape drugs are kinda salty, but Rohypnol isn’t Rohypnol is BITTER. If your drink is saltier, it’s GHB, if it’s bitter it’s Rohypnol. Either way, keep safe, friends.
Helpful tips/ tricks that i’ve been researching.
I’m looking into being a sugar while im in college, but i want to make sure i know EVERYTHING i can about the lifestyle before i go out there and do it. This is a list of the blogs/posts I’ve been reading through that i think are helpful to me.
It’s a long list. D:
(dont worry, all these links will open in a new tab.)
Closet classics (buy these before you buy those hot pink 6 inch red bottoms)
Thats all i have for now, Ill add a few more in a few hours. Hope this helps anyone! Cheers!
Some of these links are dead, sorry
I have done previous posts on questions you should ask before and during a POT date. But he will likely ask you the same questions so here is a how-to on answering them. Also it is up to you if you would like to ask these questions before or during the first date. It depends on how comfortable you are, your location in regards to the POT, etc. He will likely be more honest in person because he has less time to think and it will be more geniune but you might end up with time wasters. I definitely wouldn’t wait until the second date, remember always be safe and prepared!
1) Q: How was your day? What are your likes/dislikes?
A: In the beginning it is natural for there to be awkwardness and lulls in the conversation. Start off my talking about your day, keep it positive and upbeat. Do not reveal too much personal information at first. For example say,” It was good, I just got done with science class” instead of ” It was boring, I hate school, just got out of science 1010 at University of Blah Blah”. Talking about you day can be a very natural transition into talking about your likes and dislikes, so talk about them always lean towards more likes then dislikes. This can even spark ideas for future dates together. Remember if he wanted to listen to someone talk about a long lists of dislikes he could talk to his wife. You are here to refresh him and talk about and listen to him but at the same time be yourself. Nobody is looking for a perfect doll, everyone has flaws.
2) Q: What is your (full/real) name? What is your occupation? Other personal info, etc.
A: (It is important you get this information from him, but do not necessarily disclose all your information to him) Pick a name close to yours for example if you name is Victoria say your name is Tori. If he pushes for a last name say playfully you will tell him when the time is right and you can build trust. If he gets angry he has to reveal information say you are a lady of safety and him as the gentlemen will surely understand. It is great steps in building trust. As for your occupation if you are not a student, or do not have a job, list your goals. A goal oriented SB is attractive. Sound busy and productive but not too busy to the point where you don’t have time for him. If you live in a big city, large university, etc. you can choose to tell him the exact names otherwise keep your answers vague.
3) Q: What has your previous experiences been in sugar dating?
A: The best answer no matter what your experiences have been is to say “ I have had two previous experiences one short term and one long term. Both were great and held at different times but one moved away and the distance was trying the other I ended because I found he was not trustworthy. I experienced travel and opportunities plus some mature men through sugar dating so just looking again”. This will:
1) Make him not take advantage if you have not had experiences
2) Will not make it seem like you have had so many SDs that it because unattractive
3) Make sure he is honest with you in the future, shadiness is what ruins arrangements most of the time not necessarily money
4) Explain why you like sugar dating (never say just for the money)
5) Show you are not afraid to end an arrangement and not entirely dependent on his money so he needs to respect you
He will give a planned out answer as well, just go along with it. It is not what he answer but how is answer it. And if he is new to the bowl he will likely be honest. If he has been around the bowl a couple of times you will know by how he answers.
4) Q: Are you planning on seeing multiple people or just me?
A: It depends on what you would like. I think there should be no double standards. So let me know what you are comfortable with. (If you have a strong preference say so, although outwardly saying you have multiples will make him surely think twice).
5) Q: What are you willing to provide in terms of an arrangement or allowance? I am looking for a geniune arrangement but also a generous arrangement. Keep in mind I am a college student.
A: It is important you say this because he will likely try to flip the question back on you saying ” Well what is it you need?” this is a sign he is trying to low ball you. No matter what he will never want to pay more than he has to in the beginning. Not until later when you establish him as an SD and win him over with your charm. A little pressure on him is a good thing when answer this question, negotiate if you feel it is right but don’t get too greedy. Make sure this is done and you can move on. Do not leave the first date until this is set in stone. If he is refusing he is a waste of time.
Lastly close the conversation with more lighthearted talk about the food, thank him, etc. Remember to keep things natural, just like a normal date, this is just a suggested outline that has helped me.:)
XOXO Lavish
This is something I found while Googling. Great for the gals that are not used to fine dining and need a quick lesson. Use it ladies, don’t go to these fancy restaurants acting and eating like a untrained chimp.
