Nezushi is my only emotion

Imagine Shion and Nezumi going camping and snuggling together in their sleeping bags for warmth

as one of those terrible Outdoorsy People im going to add some disappointing camping truths to this post:

imagine Nezumi’s hair getting tangled in the zipper off their shared sleeping bag, trapping them both. Shion needs to pee. Nezumi threatens to kill him and dump his body in the woods if he pisses in the sleeping bag before he can safely untangle his hair without resorting to drastic measures like tearing the tangled parts off.

imagine Shion and Nezumi forgetting the bug spray. imagine Nezumi never shutting the fuck up about how many mosquito bites he’s getting and how itchy he is. 

imagine Nezumi eating all the trail mix on the first day and then whining about being hungry on hikes.

imagine foot blisters

imagine Shion fleeing into the tent and refusing to come back out when wasps decide to crash lunch. imagine Nezumi being tasked with fending them off. imagine Shion‘s shrill screams when there’s a wasp in the tent with him while Nezumi is still locked in mortal combat with the ones outside.

imagine Nezumi and Shion gettin it on in the woods and accidentally getting pine sap in unfortunate places. or, worse: imagine stinging nettles

imagine the water filter failing. imagine giardia.

imagine so much dirt in Shion’s white hair that it visibly becomes a darker shade. imagine Nezumi going to pet Shion’s fluffy head and recoiling in horror when his hand comes away covered in dirt. 

imagine Nezumi and Shion roasting s’mores. Nezumi keeps accidentally setting his marshmallows on fire and pouting. Imagine Shion taking pity on him and trying to share his but getting the goo in Nezumi’s hair by mistake. Imagine Nezumi pouting even more.

IMAGINE NEZUMI VS A SKUNK

imagine Nezumi and Shion being unable to find any dry firewood except some logs with suspicious looking mushrooms on them. They burn the logs anyway. This was possibly a mistake.

imagine Nezumi and Shion attempting and failing to set up their tent for two solid hours, as the sun sets on them and forces them to finish it in the dark. imagine that they set it up wrong and it collapses on them in the middle of the night when it starts to rain.

imagine Shion going outside at night to pee and getting lost in the woods. imagine Nezumi venturing out to look for him and getting lost too.

imagine bears. Nezumi is a lazy-ass and neglects to properly store the remnants of dinner in the bear can and bears happen. imagine bears happening when Nezumi and Shion are stuck in the sleeping bag. imagine.

またいつか会えるよね by Ranko

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ok but

shion’s role on the reconstruction committee gets him some fun death threats time to time, and as a result he ends up taking a basic self-defense class and then enjoys it so much he goes and learns some martial arts proper

one friday night after a looooong day at work he gets home late, totally exhausted, and he just wants to go to sleep, so he stumbles directly to his bedroom and turns out the light and faceplants on his bed

and then he feels someone touching the back of his head and he JUMPS into action mode and grabs his would-be attacker and throws them -

by chance directly out the window, which is open and had not been left open when shion left for work that morning

and the intruder shrieks on the descent to the ground two stories below “SHION WHAT THE FUUUUuuuucccck” - THUD

it was nezumi

he just threw nezumi out the second floor window

shion scrambles to his feet and runs downstairs and into his backyard where nezumi is sprawled in a dazed heap in the bushes. “WHAT’S SEVEN PLUS THREE” he demands

nezumi lolls his head to the side to look at him with a dopey grin and says in a slurring voice “nice to see you again too”

and that’s how shion spent the first night after reunion driving nezumi to the emergency room for a concussion. a half-lucid nezumi tells him bad pickup lines the whole drive there.