i hate him skjfkdjfjdknfjf

why must the cute ones (me) suffer

when ur hanging out in ur apartment u’ve got some candles lit ur feeling good u’ve had 8 glasses of wine then down in the street u hear two beautiful boys skateboarding or doing flips or something so u invite them up and they say where’s the bed and they ask if they can sit on the bed and u tell them sure but the sheets are expensive japanese linen and they tell u they’re not even soft:

creepypasta

mario jumped outta my game and killed my mother and parents

“my mother and my parents”

you want to make fun of my tragedy? huh? hm? my mother and parents are dead shitface

If I got ahold of Joe Biden's phone I would put he/they in his Twitter bio then turn it off

Stop replying to this with "I would link Homestuck discourse! I would make a carrd! I would post Onceler stuff!" like guys. Guys. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but this won't work. Everyone will know it was a hack. But adding a they pronoun to the bio? Oh, baby, that's a toss-up. We would bear witness to three gorgeous hours of the biggest Twitter storm you have ever seen. It would be better than superhell night.

I feel seen.

This is it

why did my mom end this text with a wink

she’s the prowler

pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms

I just ate a whole bag of those, no joke

u piece of fucking shit that was the love of my life

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

am i having a stroke why are your i's so long i'm

everybody please be quiet, please

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Now Youve Gone And Done It

I’m losing it over this twitter thread. this is the post-digital hellscape

Sometimes high tech is worse

My boyfriend has the most beautiful animals

What the hell kind of cow is that?

Don’t be rude that’s their boyfriend