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99 probs, a block ain't one

@volleyball-crow / volleyball-crow.tumblr.com

I'm C~ Haikyuu!! only, here! Feel free to dump your HQ!! feels on me. Just don't judge me too hard if I'm reduced to capslocking. (^^); I try to answer any volleyball questions sent my way as well as I can.
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kirabethstar

Haikyuu 336, on what Bokuto said...

Ok I know that we are all freakin about about the new haikyuu chapter but can I just say that it’s not even what bokuto said but also HOW HE SAID IT I have been screaming nonstop since I read this and let me explain why…. BECAUSE… THIS IS TOO MUCH…

So here’s one of the translated scans I was reading, and while the translation isn’t incorrect it doesn’t convey the entire story:

What bokuto said was, in Japanese:

でもね赤葦 (demo ne akaashi)
俺には (ore ni wa)
120%をちょうだい (120% wo choudai)

SO LETS BREAK THIS DOWN LINE BY LINE

1. “でもね赤葦”

“But akaashi“

He could’ve said “でも” (demo) ”でもな” (demo na) “でもさ” (demo sa) or even ”けど” (kedo), which more or less convey “but”

BUT HE SAID でもね (demo ne)

Which is a way of speaking that’s more commonly used by women/children, and at the same time conveying a kind of “but you know“ feeling; overall this is just softer than the other ways of saying “but”

2. “俺には”

“for me”

Not “for this match,” or “for the team,” but “for me” – I don’t know/care about other people (aka your 100% might be enough for other ppl), but FOR ME, BOKUTO KOUTAROU, SPECIFICALLY

3. “120%をちょうだい“

AND THIS IS WHERE I DIE

“Give me your 120%”

He could’ve said くれ (kure) or よこせ(yokose), which both also mean “give me”, but the way bokuto said it implies that Akaashi has to reach out and give it to him too, not just him trying to get it from Akashi. I’ve seen dictionaries say that this is closer to to “いただく” (itadaku) which is more focused on the act of receiving instead of taking, if that makes sense. On the other hand choudai is also more commonly used by women/kids, in a way that you can imagine children asking for candy or a girl acting cute and asking for something from her boyfriend (if you understand Chinese I am trying to explain 撒嬌 but there is no English word for this LOL if u r into kpop its kind of like aegyo I guess??). Basically like how he said でもね this is much softer/childlike than any other way he could’ve said it. HOWEVER even if it is softer there in undeniably an element of pressure and trust to it such that Akaashi WILL deliver this. AND UH… another context u see this commonly is in doujinshis where they ask for sex and literally say “全部/すべてちょうだい” (zenbu/subete choudai) “give me your everything“

AND THIS IS WHY JP TWITTER IS FREAKIN OUT ABOUT HOW IT LITERALLY READS LIKE A DOUJINSHI

To give more context/comparison to this, here are some examples of how other characters in haikyuu say “give me“ to each other:

  • Akaashi to Konoha: “kudasai” much more formal, polite, very akaashi lol
  • Bokuto to Konoha: “yokose” more manly, guy between guy kind of way of speech, GIMME
  • And perhaps the most beautiful comparison here is from chapter 286 where hinata says “give it to me next time too” with his dark!hinata face because aksjhdkjf THEY R SAYING THE SAME THING BUT THE WAY THEY SAID IT JUST REALLY REFLECTS THE DYNAMICS so he said “次もくれ” (tsugi mo kure) which is also more along the lines of guy between guy kind of speech, and slightly more demanding. I feel like I’m not doing this explanation justice but just let me say that I don’t think Kageyama or Hinata would ever ever use the word choudai towards each other because that really isn’t how their dynamic works if that makes sense??? I just love the parallel between the bokuto/akaashi relationship and kageyama/hinata relationship between setter and spiker and how both pairs feel immense pressure from each other but at the same time still such little difference in wording really shows the differences in the dynamic and im lkzjfhkljsafhkakd

TO SUM IT UP BOKUTO SPEAKS IN A MUCH SOFTER/GENTLER/CHILDLIKE TONE TO AKAASHI AND AND I AM DEAD AND AM STILL DYING AND PLS SCREAM WITH ME

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Tumblr is doing some stupid AI shit so go to blog settings > Visibility > Prevent third-party sharing.

You have to do this for each side blog separately by the way, in their individual blog settings (where you set the avatar etc.)

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Reminder for artists and writers to OPT-OUT of Tumblr giving your posts to companies to train AI programs

Each of your side-blogs has to enable the "Prevent sharing" setting. It's not account-wide

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jamscandraw

GO TO: Settings > Visibility > toggle the "prevent sharing to 3rd parties" option to ON (and yes annoyingly you have to do it for every side blog you own)

reblogging here to maximise eyes on it

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reblogged

yep, turns out i really never did post the "Rules!! Aoba Johsai Volleyball Team" thing, it's still in my drafts for this sideblog!!!!

actually, i have a LOT of stuff i never posted in my drafts, holy shit

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yep, turns out i really never did post the "Rules!! Aoba Johsai Volleyball Team" thing, it's still in my drafts for this sideblog!!!!

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Rules!! Aoba Johsai Volleyball Team

Rejected titles, written above and crossed out: Resistance is Futile, Oikawa-san’s Rules, OIKAWA-SAN RULES, Seijoh Commandments, Aoba Johsai Laws, Shittykawa can’t come up with decent titles to save his life, Vice-captain please stop antagonizing him

-

Rule #1: Oikawa-san is the master commander in this ship and you shall obey him in all matters.

lol l o l lol lol Mutiny! Mutiny, I say!

Rule #2: First-years must rotate setting up duties, as well as cleaning up duties.

Oikawa, if you’re going to do this, then at least do it decently why must you suck the fun out of everything, Iwa-chan? interesting choice of words there Oikawa-kun! Matsukawa. Laps. Yes, sir. On it, sir.

Rule #2.1. if Kunimi pretends to forget his turn again, he’ll get a life sentence

why is there a rule just for me, Hanamaki-san, that’s so unfair i n s t e a d   o f   a   r u l e,   w e   c o u l d   a s k   t h e    v i c e-c a p t a i n   t o   t h i n k    u p   s o m e   k i n d   o f    s p e c i a l   p u n i s h m e n t    f o r   y o u actually, you know what, Kindaichi, I’m fine with this

Rule #3: You bleed on it, you wash it

how do I get blood out of fabric, again? hydrogen peroxide, Mattsun. or you could just put that ugly yellow shirt in the trash where it belongs don’t even, Oikawa, I know the nasty stuff you have hidden in that wardrobe

Rule #4: Mandatory yearly field trip to look at the stars for team bonding purposes!

Is this just an excuse to spend an entire night looking for UFOs and discussing the possibility of alien life? Y e s. Y e s. Yeeep. What say you, Dr. Expert-in-Oikawa-Matters I say he probably needs his Star Trek collection confiscated to calm down a little YOU’RE NOT CUTE! YOU’RE NOT CUTE AT ALL! THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T GET A GIRLFRIEND, IWA-CHAN! lol no it’s not

Rule #5: If you bring a water bottle to practice, then take it home with you

The club room is small enough, don’t waste space on stupid stuff, we already have Oikawa that hurt even me UNCALLED FOR IWA-CHAN!

Rule #6: Occasionally the vice-captain will fuck up and end up petting the captain’s hair in apology. Pretend you don’t see this.

I’d like to know who had the balls to write this because he deserves a medal h a p p y   p e o p l e   s h o u l d   a l l   e x p l o d e

Rule #6: For fuck’s sake, no fangirls.

someone explain to me how come Oikawa-san’s presence makes us all invisible? l o l   m i s d i r e c t i o n

Rule #7: Iwa-chan needs some loving every now and then~ Oikawa needs a kick in the ass every now and then

N o   t h a n k s,   I   e n j o y   l i v i n g I also happen to be quite attached to my life r e l a x,   l i t t l e   f i r s t   y e a r s,   I w a i z u m i    m e a n t   t h i s   r u l e   j u s t   f o r   h i m s e l f,   h e’ d   k i l l   y o u   i f   y o u   t r i e d   i t o h    g o d not to worry, Kindaichi, Oikawa-senpai would kill us himself first s o m e h o w    I’ m    n o t   c o m f o r t e d Iwa-chan, how dare you talk about the great Oikawa-san like this! that’s exactly why why does no one respect me in this house. I guess we should show our respect for you more, shouldn’t we, Captain Mattsun~ you’re my favourite♥

Rule #8: We must greet Oikawa’s greatness every morning with a salute and 2 yoga exercises done on the spot.

Downward dog is preferred. I w a i z u m i - s a n,   n o o o o   X D D D Mattsun, you’re no longer my favourite. lol disowned it was all worth it HANAMAKI-SAN DID IT HANAMAKI-SAN DID IT OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA M A T S U K A W A - S A N  T O O!   O M G this is why everyone thinks the volleyball team is not normal well, they’re not wrong

Rule #9: Funny guys who think they’re funnier than they actually are will run laps until they puke♥

Sorry =(   Sorry        S O R R Y       s o r r y ! !       oops We’re really sorry, please don’t kill us Whoever said Captain is not a hardass, my thousand bruises and missing tooth would like to have a word he just wanted to see if your eyebrows get thinner when you’re tired Iwaizumi-san. Not helping. [you’re all so strange - Sawamura] Z I P    I T    K A R A S U N O !

Rule #10: If we’re playing poker, Oikawa-senpai is not allowed in the room

just -how- does he know everyone’s tells? it’s not that bad, is it? m a y b e    i f    y o u    c o u l d   r e s i s t   t h e    u r g e   t o   d o   a   l i v e  a u d i o   c o m m e n t a r y   a n d   d i d n ’t   o u t   e v e r y   s i n g l e   b l u f f   g o i n g  o n I’d also appreciate my eyebrows not being the topic of a 5-minute monologue for once

Rule #11: Monopoly is BANNED.

L e t   i t    b e   n o t e d   h e r e    t h a t    I   o w n e d   a l l   y o u r   a s s e s. Makki, dude, let it go.

Rule #12: No dog jokes, practical or otherwise. Kyotani is enough of a pain in the ass already.

personally I thought the leash was a very nice touch because he didn’t get the joke? because he didn’t get the joke. y o u ’ r e   s o   l u c k y    h e   r e a d   t h e   w o r d   “R u l e s”   a n d   s t a r t e d   p r e t e n d i n g   t h i s   b o a r d   d o e s n’ t   e x i s t

Rule #13: Liberos are precious creatures that must be protected at all costs.

I need to know who wrote this, so I can figure out if I should be feeling the love or the sarcasm Watari, dear, it’s probably both O i k a w a - s a n   o n   p o i n t   a s    a l w a y s

Rule #14: Iwa-chan is a beautiful cinnamon roll, too perfect for this world, too pure

d i d   O i k a w a - s a n   s u r v i v e   w r i t i n g   t h i s ? he’s been missing for three days O H    M Y   G O D    W H A T Kindaichi you saw him less than an hour ago o h.   o h   y e a h.

Rule #15: If you’re drunk, we don’t know you.

But I hear he still carried Captain’s ass home [but did he cop a feel, tho] NEKOMA WHEN I FIND YOU I’M GONNA KILL YOU [that was not a no] please don’t kill another team’s captain, Iwaizumi-san

Rule #16: If you don’t know me, I can do whatever I want

a h.   t h e y ’r e   s t i l l    f i g h t i n g,   a r e n ’t    t h e y ? how observant of you. Does nothing escape your all-seeing eye, Kindaichi?

Rule #17: Team dinners after every match. No exceptions.

good to hear they made up

Rule #18: The next person to start an underwear-stealing chain will be hung up from the school’s flag mast in their socks. And only their socks.

is this actually physically possible? wanna find out?

Rule #19: Iwaizumi-san is always serious, and must always be taken at his word, please don’t ever think he’s kidding because he’ll really do it oh god

and they said high school wouldn’t be a traumatic experience

Rule #20: CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES FOR FUCK’S SAKE THAT WAS DISGUSTING

this day will go down in Aoba Johsai history as the smelliest there ever was i t    l o o k s    l i k e    a   d i r t y    l a u n d r y    b o m b   f r o m   h e l l   w e n t    o f f    i n    t h e r e.   w h a t    t h e   h e l l   h a p p e n e d I   n e e d    t o   kn o w:   w h o    d o   t h e   s p a r k l y    a l i e n   b o x e r s   b e l o n g   t o ? lolololol Oikawa-san, Kindaichi found your underwear w h a t ? nooooo, Kin-chan, don’t believe his lies! I know for a fact you have three more pairs in different colours STOP MESSING IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER HAJIME stop hiding the TV remote in there when you’re sulking C a p t a i n… ah, Captain just broke Kindaichi’s little hero-worshipping heart. he should buy him dinner as compensation. and me too. oh no. I feel so disillusioned. only free food can heal the wound in my soul. in fact, he should buy all of us dinner, after all this hard work, isn’t that right, Hanamaki-san? I   w o u l d n’ t    s a y   n o    t o    t h a t,    M a t s u k a w a - s a n. you’re all horrible, horrible people, I should just go to Shiratorizawa you’d be back in three days, tops. you’re so uncute, Iwa-chan. no wonder you can’t get a girlfriend. lolololol that’s not why

Rule #21: don’t underestimate other teams, no matter how weak they seem.

d a m n.   d a m n    d a m n    d a m n   d a m n. next time, man. we’ll only get better from here. stay focused.

Rule #22: Karasuno and Shiratorizawa are going down first - and then we’re going for the Champions Cup. First place will be ours.

Scribbled several times all over the remaining space below rule #22 in different handwritings: Yes, Captain.

RULE THE COURT

(tiny drawing of an adorable, but somehow incredibly menacing chibi!Oikawa, with a cheerful smile full of teeth. The speech bubble next to him reads: “…. or else.”)

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Shake It Off (COME SET FOR ME AT SHIRATORIZAWA)

[please imagine the unrealistic premise that Ushijima hijacks the stage during Aoba Johsai’s school festival to sing a song to Oikawa about how no matter how many times he’s refused, he’ll never stop telling Oikawa to come to Shiratorizawa. After his brief intro speech, the rest of the Shiratorizawa VBC reluctantly trudge onto the stage and get into position behind Ushijima.For this musical number, please imagine a parody somewhat like this Supernatural parody by the Hillywood Show..

And the music starts….]

♫ ♫ ♫

My team is really great Rulers of this domain That’s what people say, mmm-mmm That’s what people say, mmm-mmm Our setter’s really good But we could do better too At least that’s what I always say, mmm-mmm That’s what I always say, mmm-mmm So I keep insisting Can’t stop, must persist in Getting Oikawa to come be On our side Saying, “COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA” ‘Cause we players gotta play, play, play, play, play But Oikawa says he hates, hates, hates, hates, me Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off My heart ain’t gonna break, break, break, break, break It’s also for his sake, sake, sake, sake, sake Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off I never miss a hit I’m lightning on my feet And still Oikawa flees, mmm-mmm Why does Oikawa flee, mmm-mmm I can win games on my own (win games on my own) But with Oikawa I would glow (with him I would glow) To Nationals we would go, mmm-mmm To Nationals we would go, mmm-mmm So I keep insisting Can’t stop, must persist in Getting Oikawa to come be On our side Saying, “COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA” 'Cause we players gotta play, play, play, play, play But Oikawa says he hates, hates, hates, hates, me Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off My heart ain’t gonna break, break, break, break, break It’s also for his sake, sake, sake, sake, sake Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off Hey, hey, hey Just think while you’ve been losing the important matches and haven’t gone to Nationals because Seijoh isn’t up to snuff You could’ve been winning here at Shira, tori, zawa. My team could make him really really great He keeps going “NO FUCKING WAY” I’m just gonna shake [Tendou shouts: AND TRY AGAIN!] So to the fella over there with the hella good hair [Ushijima points at Oikawa, having zeroed in on him almost the moment he stepped onto the stage] Won’t you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake

[in the audience, Oikawa cringes, trying to hide behind Iwaizumi and praying to all the gods this is just a nightmare he’s gonna wake up from any moment. Any moment now. Surely in the next few seconds, oh god please]

Yeah ohhh

'Cause we players gotta play, play, play, play, play But Oikawa says he hates, hates, hates, hates, me (Oikawa hates me) Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off My heart ain’t gonna break, break, break, break, break (mmmm) It’s also for his sake, sake, sake, sake, sake (he’d be better here, it’s also for his sake!) Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off Shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off Shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off Shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off (I’ve got to), I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off, I, I, I shake it off, I shake it off

OIKAWA, COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA

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reblogged

title: Below Destiny genre: gen, humour, VOLLEYBALL FEELS length: 15 551 words

summary: The one in which Daichi tries to ambush Ennoshita to give him a suitably emotional speech about the joys of captainship, and Ennoshita will have absolutely none of it, definitely not, not even if you payed me, thank you very much.

My thanks to greenhouse-nurse, @eleventh-page , memordes, and spotthetitan, for their beta work and all their help. Thank you so much. *bows*

read it on AO3 here

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How to Care for your Iwa-chan

#1: Iwa-chans have a tendency to be too stiff and serious. Lighten up his day with some jokes and poke fun at him! He’ll kick you, of course, but he’ll be smiling inside!

#2: Exercise is very important. Keep your Iwa-chan healthy with regular doses of volleyball practice. Iwa-chans also like doing weights, but be careful to interrupt him when he’s overdoing it. Sitting on his lap usually does the trick.

#3: Properly document him growing up! Iwa-chan needs to know he’s loved, and what better way to do this than take photos at every opportunity? At school. At training camps. When he’s eating. When he’s sleeping. When he’s in the shower.

#3.5: Apparently the shower is off-limits. (keep those in a private folder)

#4: A really angry Iwa-chan is a silent, cold Iwa-chan that ignores you and doesn’t eat much. If you can’t apologize yet, or if he won’t talk to you yet, make sure you find some way to ensure he’s eating enough. Leaving snacks in his room or getting other people to feed him are both good strategies.

#5: Sad or worried Iwa-chans try to hide it, but they frown more than usual and look down thoughtfully at their hands more often. Be annoying in his general vicinity until he’s either ready to talk about it, or relieves some stress by exploding at you.

#6: Sometimes people will get jealous and try to bully Iwa-chan. Keep an eye on things when he’s, ah, dealing with them. Iwa-chan is very thorough when it comes to bullies. Buuuut - sometimes he’ll go easy on some, and they’ll start planning things again. Have a quiet talk with them later. Watch Iwa-chan’s back.

#7: Happy Iwa-chans will let you cuddle at home, and play video games with you, and perfectly spike all your sets, and smile a lot. Always do your best to keep your Iwa-chan a happy Iwa-chan. This is also the perfect time to pull pranks on him, because he won’t be expecting it.

#7.5: He’s always expecting it. Don’t ever start a prank war with your Iwa-chan, he’s vicious.

#8: Don’t forget that your Iwa-chan doesn’t like tomatoes. Don’t bring attention to this; just sneakily transfer them to your plate. You may also take anything else you like from his plate as payment for your generous deed. 

#9: Your Iwa-chan has very strong parental instincts - make sure to let him scold you and look after you. He needs to know you need him, and since that happens to be true, you’ll both be happy.

#10: Iwa-chans are good with girls, and they like him. Keep the attention of the female populace on you at all times.

#11: Do not forget to teach your Iwa-chan how to loosen up. Kidnap him on the weekends and take him to do fun, exciting activities without warning him in advance. Like bungee jumping.

#12: don’t take him and the team to paintball FORFUCK’S SAKE DON’T TAKE HIMT O PAINTBALL

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Fukurodani House Rules

#1: We DO NOT STEAL traffic signs.*

It’s amazing that this is the number 1 rule. Like, what are we even doing. [stealing traffic signs, apparently.]

#2: We do not steal shoes.

-come on, it was funny- the smell, though, that was no joke

#3: We do not steal hair gel.

-unless it’d be funny- NO STEALING HAIR GEL

Rule #4: Captain’s hair is a beautiful flower and must be treated as such, please bring all the hair care products you can get your hands on (EXCEPT HAIR GEL. HAIR GEL IS FORBIDDEN) to the locker room so he’s always guaranteed to have the proper nutrition

-that was beautiful- [truly a modern day pyramid] \ you guys are insane ~Noya / lol I have no idea how you kept Vice-Captain from knowing about that thing for weeks, but kudos to you it was amazing, guys!! Bokuto-san, please control yourself

#5: If I have to make a rule for not stealing underwear I will not be pleased. You are all disgusting.**

-it was a joke! we just bought the same stuff!- oh, so you go shopping for matching underwear now? how adorable. lol Akaashi can we go shopping together??? no.

#6: NO OWLS.

awwww…. don’t even, Bokuto-san. don’t even.

#7: No cats either.

#7.1. Kuroo from Nekoma is not allowed in our club room for any reason, at any time, and especially not if Bokuto-san is with him.

what if they have a hostage? or know the super secret password? -what if they need to take the ring to Mordor and must absolutely pass through our clubroom?- [I just want to watch the world burn] « Akaashi, your team is a strange and wondrous place. » I know, Iwaizumi-san. I know.

#8: If Bokuto-san gets a girlfriend before me, I will cry. Bokuto-san is not allowed to get a girlfriend

I don’t think we have to worry about that, do we? definitely not a worry what is that supposed to mean??

#9: KUROO-SAN IS NOT ALLOWED TO KIDNAP OUR CAPTAIN. DON’T LET HIM DO IT. DON’T LET BOKUTO-SAN SNEAK AWAY WITH HIM EITHER.

= BOKUTO-CHAN YOUR FAMILY IS AGAINST OUR LOVE WHATEVER SHALL WE DO = KUROO-KUN I DON’T CARE YOU ARE MY FOREVER BRO = BRO<3 = BRO<333 how did this turn into Romeo and Juliet…

Rule #10: Apparently we can’t take a portable stove and cook in the club room. It’s kind of unfair.

so unfair incredibly unfair a small fridge would be nice though? would you fit comfortably inside it? no small fridge. got it.

#11: We can’t sing musical numbers either.***

not with those voices, you can’t. Akaashi-san, that’s so hurtful. not as much as your voice trying to sing falsetto, Onaga one day I aspire to the level of greatness that is Akaashi delivering the sickest burns I’ve ever seen lol

#12: please, no more drawings of “Sexy Volleyball-chan”, I’m traumatized for life

\  I   t h o u g h t    i t    l o o k e d   p r e t t y    c o o l …. / \  K A G E Y A M A    N O  /

#13: life is not worth living without the smell of natto in the morning

I will hurt you.

#14: We will take the rules in this board seriously.

-whaaaa… we’re good boys! no, really!- { I don’t think you’d know good if it danced naked in front of you } Tsukishima-kun, what a lewd imagination you have… -to think Captain’s friend has such a dirty mind!- I am shocked! Truly shocked! [what a bad influence on our Captain, unacceptable] = *gasp* Glasses-kun! How could you say that! = { the lot of you… you’re insufferable… }

#15: The Nekoma guys are our forever bros! FOREVER BROS. THAT’S LIKE FAMILY. WE’RE FAMILY.

= BRO<3 = BRO<33 [can I be the estranged distant cousin?] I’ll be the nephew nobody cares about = I vote Yaku-san for mother = = Lev. It seems you’ve forgotten I know your handwriting very well by now = = please don’t hurt me = = c a n    I   d i v o r c e    a n   e n t i r e    f a m i l y ? = = lol Kenma maybe next year =

#16: OWL PUNS ARE MANDATORY LAME

-spoilsport.- you need to know when to stop, Konoha-kun.

#17: Acting skills are not necessary, but a wide vocabulary in the “compliments and sweet talking” area is very much appreciated. We need variety.

I don’t get this rule [um….]

#18: We highly disapprove of Nekoma’s obscene drawings on their volleyballs IT WAS SO FUNNY and we will absolutely not imitate them I WANT ONE AKAASHI NO

[otherwise Akaashi-san will make the Very Disappointed In You look] which is about a hundred times worse than the Very Disappointed in the World look we’re all familiar with, even if they’re very similar -still. I kind of want to draw a dickball too- your anarchist soul will be the death of all of us, Konoha, mark my words

#19: We do not throw a tantrum when opponents use the skills we taught them against us.

We are sorry.

#20: No more strong arm contests with Aoba Johsai.****

I want to be Iwaizumi-san when I grow up. [Onaga, you fucking fanboy]

#21: Bokuto-san is not allowed to adopt any more players from other teams

or owls (again) or random little kids [or little old ladies, no matter how much they like volleyball] wait what??

#22: We do NOT try to nurse teammates back to health.

because next time you might really kill him IT WAS AN ACCIDENT so is your presence in general, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take precautions can I be Akaashi when I grow up?

#23: By the way, Onaga is not allowed to touch a pot or set a foot in a kitchen ever again

it was kind of edibleit did look very yummy! it was BRIGHT PURPLE

#24: We are not allowed to have a YouTube account for the team because we’re clearly not mature enough for that

actually I think the problem was that it was too mature you are truly the soul of wit, Sarukui-san. thank you. does that mean I’m not on cleaning duty for the foreseeable future as punishment for that joke? not quite that witty yet.

#25: List of things that will catch on fire if you’re not careful: doritos, ping pong balls, hair spray, cotton candy, towels, Bokuto-san’s hair, anyone’s hair actually, curtains, it seems the clubroom itself is surprisingly flammable, how did that happen?, hair spray again, that one time there was a fish, by the way don’t throw water at it because it doesn’t help, OH MY GOD FLOUR EXPLODES IT SERIOUSLY FUCKING EXPLODES, I hear  you shouldn’t leave spray bottles in the sun, owl feathers, mostly anything with alcohol in it, oranges.

= oranges? = oranges. » somewhere out there there’s a line between what’s sane and what is not and you guys are on another dimension entirely «

#26: We can’t “borrow” other team’s volleyballs either.

-for a few glorious hours, we had the dickball, and all was right in the world- \ IF YOU CAN’T HAVE IT, CAN I HAVE IT? / \ TANAKA, NO /

#27: No more Gangnam Style. Gangnam Style is over. Move on.

the principal will dissolve the team the next time someone starts a “school riot”, BECAUSE HE’LL KNOW IT WAS ONE OF US AGAIN [we were having lunch and suddenly we were in the middle of a viral video, Akaashi I swear, to this day I still don’t understand what happened] Bokuto. Bokuto happened. He is either a genius or a madman and I am afraid to figure out which hahahahaha

#28: We do not steal wigs.

[who was it? I have to know. I can’t go on without knowing] Komi, I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. [Sarukui, I’m so proud]

#29: We do not bury teammates up to their neck in sand

other teams, however, are outside my jurisdiction aww, Akaashi, you softie \ I ALMOST DIED / \ Tanaka, you missed Kiyoko wearing a trikini, you didn’t almost die / \ SAME THING /

#30: You know how I said I didn’t do the thing you specifically told us not to do? That was an incredible lie.

At this point, I’m too numb to generalized chaos to worry overmuch. Is the academy still standing? good. anything else, I’ll deal with it tomorrow Akaashi, you goddamn hero

- - - - - - - 

Since this team seems to be an apocalypse waiting to happen, more rules will be added as long as there’s space in the board. When we run out of board, we’ll get another one to hang next to it on the wall When we run out of walls, I will quit everything and leave you to your fate because clearly you’re too far gone and there’s no hope left \ Akaashi-san, you’re refreshingly optimistic about this, aren’t you / Sawamura-san, I detect the sarcasm in your words, and I am completely sincere when I tell you that I am possibly the most optimistic person in this team

- - - - - - - 

Written on sticky notes, stuck on top of the respective rules on the board: (because by the time people went to write these, there was no space left near the rules they were commenting on)

*It was just laying there by the side of the road. I thought it would be funny. It’s a crime, Bokuto-san. Ooops?
** -SERIOUSLY WE WERE JUST PRETENDING TO STEAL EACH OTHER’S UNDERWEAR WE WEREN’T SERIOUSLY DOING IT- [it’s okay, we’re not prejudiced against weird kinks or homos or anything] IT’S NOT LIKE THAT = uwaaah, such open-minded teammates, Fukurodani sure is a nice team~ = -KUROO-SAN NO- \ LOL YOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE THIS / OH MY GOD
***not even the Mulan song? …maybe on training camps. after i graduate. you’re a ruthless man, Akaashi.
****or Nekoma. Or Karasuno. Or anyone at all, really. Iwaizumi-san would win anyway…. [Onaga, just ask for his autograph already and shut up, goddamn.]
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Nekoma Volleyball Club Rules

(scribbled on a huge whiteboard next to the door in the gym, in no particular order, and complete with annotations in different handwritings)

#1: If you’re not 15 minutes early to warm-up, you’re late

this is oppression! total oppression! I see you learned a new word in class today, Yamamoto with all due respect, Captain, fuck off

#2: First people to arrive set up the net and go get the balls

what a pain you’re excused, Kenma really? hahaha, no what a pain

#3: Respect your senpai

Yaku-senpai wrote this one didn’t he SHUT UP LEV

#4: Captain is the boss.

u n l e s s   B o k u t o   f r o m   F u k u r o d a n i   i s   a n y w h e r e    i n   t h e   v i c i n i  t y.   T h e  n    Y a k u   i s   t h e    b o s s ouch. That hurts, Kai, right hereKai-senpai, you’re the vice-captain, please don’t make jokes like that. You’re going to make Yaku-senpai cry LEV I’M GOING TO KILL YOU

#5: No videogames during practice

NO. VIDEOGAMES. DURING. PRACTICE. it was just the one time lol Kenma what a huge lie it isn’t I just saw you hide your PSP in that bag under the bench prove it KUROO YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CAPTAIN WHY ARE YOU ENABLING HIM lol prove it

#6: No jumping onto teammates without previous warning No jumping onto people AT ALL, for fuck’s sake

why would you even jump on a guy’s back and hold onto his neck I swear I thought Lev was looking Yamamoto-senpai, you were behind me! so?

#7: No pranks involving smelly stuff in the gym OR THE CLUBROOM, NOT THE CLUBROOM, NEVER IN THE CLUBROOM

or hair dye or my PSP o r    l a x a t i v e s or fire …do I want to know? probably not this is why we can’t have nice things shut up, Inuoka

#8: NO PRANK WARS

that’s probably for the best

#9: No consorting with the enemy

I’ m   l o o k i n g   a t   y o u,   K u r o o I’m sure I don’t know what you mean h u h    u  h My love for Karasuno’s manager goddess will not be quelled! It’s one of those word-of-the-day calender thingies, isn’t it ♥ ♥ ♥ KIYOKO-SAAAAAAN ♥ ♥ ♥ ah, he’s ignoring me

#10: No cats during practice, Lev

but what if it’s raining? and cold outside? w e     b r i n g   t h e m   t o   c o a c h   a n d    m a k e    p u p p y   e y e s you have the best ideas, Shibayama

#11: Yaku’s height complex must never be mentioned

I’M GOING TO FIND OUT WHO WROTE THIS AND THEY’RE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT WHEN I DO

#11: No fangirls during practice/practice matches. No matter where they’re from. Or who they’re here for

~I CAN’T HELP IT IF I’M IRRESISTIBLE~~ ✧ ⸜(>౪ര́)و ♡*‧˚✧ Oikawa-san, teach me your jump serve!! NO.

#12: No drawing immature stuff on the volleyballs. No, those are not considered “school-identifying marks”.

I thought Coach was going to strangle someone when the Fukurodani vice-captain came up to him with our ball I didn’t know people could turn that red Bokuto stopped breathing for like 3 minutes. I seriously thought he was going to die Bokuto-san would never dare to die during a match. Akaashi-san would kill him.

#13: LEV IS THE ACE

Lev is not the ace Nope You’re a million years too early, first-year I will definitely become the ace!!! w e l l,   h e   d i d   m a n a g e   a n   a w e s o m e   r e c e i v e   d u r i n g   p r a c t i c e   y e s t e r d a y yes. with his face. i t   w a s   s t i l l   a w e s o m e zip it Inuoka!!

#13: If you have a girlfriend, keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear that

Yamamoto, your jealousy monster is showing I AM NOT JEALOUS

#14: No passionate love declarations to your teammates during matches

IT WASN’T A LOVE CONFESSION!!! I   w a s   r e a l l y   m o v e d,   K a g e y a m a.   S o   r o m a n t i c. I think I cried a little. Ryuu, too. I never thought I’d see an actual proposal on the court. so manly. it was very very romantic!!! it was amazing!! Shouyou really liked it. I was very happy for him IT WASN’T A LOVE DECLARATION OKAY [Kageyama, does that mean you don’t love me anymore?] HINATA YOU IDIOT I’M GONNA KILL Y (three lines of “lol”s)

#15: No murdering your teammates. Unless you’re from another team, then please feel free to do so. Just try not to get too much blood on the floor

PLEASE DON’T ENCOURAGE THEM, KUROO-SENPAI what?

#16: No calling your Captain “rooster head”, “tall weirdo” or “that bastard”.

w h a t   a b o u t   a n   a f f e c t i o n a t e   “s e x y   b a s t a r d”? I knew I loved you for a reason, Bokuto-chan why do people from other teams keep writing on our whiteboard y o u’r e   j u s t   j e a l o u s   o f   o u r    b r o - l o v e

#17: No leaving wet pieces of clothing forgotten in empty lockers where they’ll grow mold and nearly poison us all

I swear it wasn’t me! it had the number 7 on it that could be anyone!

#18: No stealing snacks. NO STEALING SNACKS. Absolutely no one will eat Shibayama’s food unless they are, of course, Shibayama, in which case it is hoped they are able to fully enjoy their meal in PEACE.

Shibayama’s scary when he’s angry THAT’S MY BOY.

#19: Competition is great, but friendships with other teams are to be treasured. Also, calling it “friendly spying” is very rude.

l o l   K u r o o    w a s   i t   r e a l l y   n e c e s s a r y  t o   w r i t e   d o w n   t h i s   o n e ?

#20: WE WILL MAKE IT TO NATIONALS.

(five lines of “hell yeah”s and a couple of enthusiastic “BATTLE OF THE TRASH HEAP AT NATIONALS! WOOHOO! GO KARASUNO!”)

We are the body’s blood – flow smoothly and circulate oxygen so the brain functions normally.

that’s still really uncool, Captain shut up, Lev. You wouldn’t recognize coolness if it hit you in the face with a spike. Which I usually do

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beechichi

『才能は開花させるもの』 “Talent is something you make bloom” Didn’t start in time for Oikawa’s birthday but finished time for mine haha. Happy Haikyuu Day~~!!

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