The 2nd Amendment is no longer the right to bear arms.  The 2nd Amendment has become the right to take lives. The 2nd Amendment is no longer aiding citizens.  The 2nd Amendment is now abetting murderers.

When the laws don’t work, the laws must change. 

Well, clearly you failed 9th grade Social Studies.

You know… I honestly don’t remember how did in 9th grade Social Studies?

I did okay majoring in Political Science and American Government in undergrad though. I graduated summa cum laude so I figure I must have learned something?

Law school also went alright I guess? I did somehow manage to get an article about the constitutionality and modification of excessive force laws through out the 50 states placed in a national publication. And I also managed to pass the Bar Exam. 

But yeah it’s totally possible I failed 9th grade social studies tbh. I was a little shit when I was 15 and gave no fucks. 

Hey, 911, I just witnessed a murder.

I’m gonna apply for a job at Gordon Ramsay new restaurant and I’m gonna get it

I submitted my application and resume

I GOT THE FUCKING INTERVIEW

My interview is in a few hours. I got this but wish me luck

reblog for good luck

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

“Whats your safe word?”

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

Lol i need to be his friend

The sound he makes when he picks him up 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Current mood

Perfect lazy babies

I want to say something.

For DAYS I didn’t look at my tumblr, I asked my friend to queue the posts the most that she could bc I was/am needing help.

My mother died out of nowhere, in less than a month and all I had in my life was her. So, if you open my post just to say bad things, that’s ok. You are helping me to feel even MORE sad, even MORE helpless and even MORE afraid of loosing my house and all the things that belonged to my mother. If you are heartless, is you. I am not. I am MISSING my mother like I had lost a LIMB, so if you don’t have ANYTHING good to say, keep your freaking mouth shut! If you can help, help, if you cannot, PLEASE, leave me alone. I am sad and I am weak. Yes, I am. If you are not and lost you mother yesterday and isn’t asking for help GOOD FOR YOU, I am lost inside myself. I am sorry for be weak, I am sorry for be a begger, I am sorry for be alive. ;)

Please, If you cannot understand that, please, LEAVE ME ALONE. I am not asking too much. Thanks!

PS: on this link, is the obit certificate, in case you think that i am a son of a bitch who would lie about a mother’s death.

PS*: on this link is the prescription of the doctor.

Guys, in the name of God, if you can, help me. I am starting to truly freak out. I am sleeping so poorly that my eyes are almost closed right now, I am nervous, feeling so tired… Please, help me if you can :’( REBLOG THIS POST, YOU WILL HELP ME THE SAME WAY. ❤️

I had some help, I could pay my light bill, buy some food and etc, but for my rent, I don’t have money. My sis was help me, but she doesn’t have anything too. She borrow R$200,00 with her grandmother and I need to pay her back in one week. I need to have R$900,00 in one week, or will start to count the delay by fine from the rent. Please, if you have ways, help me. I’m from Brazil, my currency is real BRL. Thanks for everything. ❤️

I had one donation this weekend, I am starting to freak out and all i do is cry. I am super worried, sleeping even less than before, trying to live, but it’s being a fight every day. Please, if you can, help me.

I swear to God that I am throwing up and sick of diarrhea for about a month now. Already reached a doctor, and nothing makes this stops. Everyday when I wake up. Is probably the meds. I’ll see my auties doctor again in the begging of March then I’ll tell him all of this. Is probably my nervous system fucking me over. All the bills. 3 days for my rent and I had two donations, in total I have R$79,25. And I need R$900,00 to Friday bc of my rent. I am so nervous about that too… My head hurts and I am not sleeping well for a long time now. The search for a job continues, any response yet. If you can help me, please, do it. 😢

Brittany Murphy​ on the set of “Girl, Interrupted"​ || 1999

Favorite line of the crossover any of these series, tbh.

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe

Animal Crossing GameCube was so heartless. Villagers would randomly paint your roof. It was so hard to make money. One time a villager sold me a mystery item without even asking and took all the money I was carrying. 12 thousand bells. It was a pitfall seed.

Eating slime mold by MaximumMoustache

im laughing because whoever filmed this obviously filmed it to see the slime mold move and then this slug comes and ruins everything

she just wanted a tasty snack dont be mean to her!!

slurp slurp slurp

Rick and Daryl

1x03

8x05

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art