Selfie of the century

Oh my god

A MUST HAVE ON MY BLOG

I already reblogged this like 3 times but I have to again

you, a doctor: *handing me my new born baby* I’m sorry but your wife didn’t make it

me, an intellectual: *handing baby back to him* bring me the one my wife made

*signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

ʸᵉᵃʰ ᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵘʰʰʰ knife to my throat

the things i do for u guys

A GREAT POET ONCE SAID

Fuck off Courtney

*to my doctor after getting laser eye surgery* so how do i shoot them

I’m uglyish but I pull it off

This is still my favourite tweet he’s ever done, esp because he made sure we could all see it was a selfie and it’s the best thing ever.

matty b been 11 for the last 5 years