spicy boy

me: if youre dead you dont have to do homework or get stressed over school so it would eliminate anxiety

my therapist:

There’s something morally wrong with Pikachu’s mouth. This is a sign of demonic possession and somebody needs to help him. 

ima give him teeth to see if that helps.

nope that didn’t help

https://instagram.com/p/BfmNWFNgkbH/

plink plonk

sufjan: Wow Good Golly This Is A Tremendous Honour I Would Like First To Thank Aubrey Drake Graham Darling Husband Of Mine As Well As Our Extraordinarily Gifted Mermaid Daughter The Untitled Stevens-Graham Project Who Is Now Six Years Old And Still Speaks Solely In Jenny Holzer Truisms. I Will Admit That I Did Not Expect To Win And Thus Did Not Prepare A Speech So I Suppose I Shall Just Recite The Holy Bible In Its Entirety. Ahem. In The Beginning God Created The Heaven And The Earth And The Earth Was Without Form And Void And Darkness Was Upon The Face Of The Deep –

oscars orchestra: *starts playing music*

sufjan: My Apologies There Must Be Some Misunderstanding! I Have Not Yet Completed My Speech! Ha Ha! So Any Way The Spirit Of God Moved Upon The Face Of The Waters And God Said Let There Be Light And There Was Light And God Saw The Light And Saw That It Was Good And God Divided The Light From The Darkness And God Called The Light Day And The Darkness He Called Night And –

oscars orchestra: *plays music louder*

sufjan: Excuse Me! Excuse Me! Hello! And The Evening And The Morning Were The First Day And God Said Let There Be A Firmament In The Midst Of The Waters And Let It Divide The Waters From The Waters And God Made –

oscars orchestra: *now deafening*

sufjan: – And God Made The Firmament And Divided The Waters Which Were Under The Firmament From The Waters Which Were Above The Firmament  – 

jimmy kimmel: all right! sufjan stevens, everybody! let’s give a big round of applause to –

sufjan: Do Not Interrupt Me You Hooligan

jimmy kimmel: sufjan this is only a three-hour telecast we really don’t have time for you to recite the entire bible

sufjan: Hello Hello Is There A Miss Tonya Harding In The Building I Need Somebody To Kindly Wail Upon This Gentleman’s Kneecaps So That I May Finish Reciting The Word Of The Lord?

Anyways, you can exclude whoever you want from your dating life.

Not dating or fucking someone isn’t bigotry.

Rossgellerphobic - someone who is repulsed and disgusted by Ross Geller from the hit TV show FRIENDS. 

please unmute this

I’ve never seen high school musical and now I never need to

Basketball basketball we love basketball

Today a student emailed over a draft of his essay on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan ‘Big Brother is watching you’ had become ‘Enormous Sibling is viewing you’ and I lauged so hard I cried

you: big brother

me, an intellectual: enormous sibling

ok so I got added to this facebook group where people post bad pictures they’ve taken of boats and do you wanna see maybe the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

https://instagram.com/p/BfUO4pGgEwg/