spiderverse au

Sometimes, I think about how much Alhaitham's entire adult life has been shaped by Kaveh and I just... have to sit down for a second.

Kaveh was Alhaitham's first, and, as far as we've been told, only friend until recently. At the very least, Kaveh was likely his only close friend throughout Alhaitham's entire schooling years, from teens into adulthood.

Alhaitham lives in the house he received for his work with Kaveh. The house Alhaitham lives in wouldn't even exist without Kaveh.

Alhaitham's ideology and behavior have been shaped by his diametric opposition to Kaveh's perspectives. He acts and thinks the way he does in part because of how their debating over years shaped how Alhaitham sees the world.

He's become an active part of a friend group almost entirely because of Kaveh. Alhaitham's story quest says that he didn't become particularly friendly with the rest of Sumeru's saviors even after they saved the archon, but now we see him hanging out with Cyno and Tighnari all the time because Kaveh was friends with them first and eased the way.

He even drinks a particular brand of coffee because he and Kaveh picked it together.

If you removed all trace of Kaveh from Alhaitham's life, virtually nothing would be the same. He wouldn't live where he does now. His house wouldn't look like it does inside at all. He very likely wouldn't have a single close friend. His ideology would probably be significantly more pragmatic and cold. Literally the only thing in Alhaitham's current life that hasn't been shaped in some way by Kaveh is Alhaitham's job. Which is... probably why work is Alhaitham's least favorite aspect of life.

Meanwhile, Kaveh is honest to archons over here wondering "What does Alhaitham even think about me?"

I don't know, buddy, probably that you're his whole world?

One of my friends made info on having the duolingo owl as your warlock patron

It’s pretty great

I need show only fans to understand that while Crowley saving Aziraphale on a grander, historic scale is canon, legit and amazing, on a smaller, more everyday scale Crowley is completely useless and Aziraphale absolutely ruthless. I mean, Crowley’s name and number are in call center databases who pester you with annoying sales and advertisements while Aziraphale makes mafia members who try to threaten his shop leave and forget about him.

Crowley is bashful, nerdy, clumsy, and awkward and desperately wants to look cool. He falls off horses, gets cursed out by ducks, stammers a lot, and his idea of Being Bad is to let the air out of car tires. He gets contrite if Aziraphale so much as clucks his tongue at him. While Aziraphale wields a flaming sword, Crowley goes into battle with a tire iron.

Aziraphale lies to God, scares people away from his shop, has people convinced he’s a murderer, and would be very stylish if time didn’t progress forward. He calmly insists that he and Crowley face down Satan himself.

And they both got swindled for decades by Shadwell.

Crowley glues coins to sidewalks and watches from afar to see if anyone picks them up. He’s irritating, at best

Aziraphale makes traffic wardens’ notebooks explode on his way past, apparently thinking that they were invented by Hell. In the show when the Bentley drives away and that poor guys notebook bursts into sparks, that’s him.

Crowley is, like, basically just mischievous and trying to pretend that he’s evil because celestial beings in the Good Omens universe have to pick a side and just aren’t allowed to be ‘basically alright but with a certain sense of humour and an open dislike of authority.’

Aziraphale tries to be good by heaven’s very absolutist ‘no-grey areas’ standards, but on an instinctive level (in the book at least, less so in the show) he has much less value for life than Crowley does. Crowley’s the one who starts worrying about what the apocalypse will do to the dolphins and gorillas and the like, Aziraphale’s the one who straight up suffocates a dove for the sake of his magic act.

In the book, Aziraphale is the one who first suggests killing the AntiChrist. And it’s not in the ‘as a last resort’ way that Crowley suggests it on the show— when he finds out where the real AntiChrist is his first reaction is basically “yay! Now we can kill the child!”

Essentially, the main reason he’s on the ‘good’ side and Crowley’s on the ‘bad’ side appears to be because Heaven and Hell judge morality based on how willing you are to follow orders blindly without asking awkward questions (which is addressed pretty well in the show, actually, when Crowley outright says he Fell because he asked too many questions), rather than on your actual behaviour or beliefs.

crowley took a century long depression nap in the 1800s and got drunk for weeks after he found out what the spanish inquisition was

aziraphale straight up possessed a televangelist and declared on live tv to millions of people that they were all going to die in the apocalypse and their god wouldn’t care if their corpses were part of the ruins His celestial army left behind

having executive dysfunction, ADHD and just a complete lack of any conception of the workings and passage of time means that i consistently roll a critical fail in punctuality

me: okay so i have to be there at 9 so i’ll get up at 7, actually get up at 7:30, get off my phone and into the shower at 7:45, finish dressing at 8, stop reading my news feed and make breakfast at 8:15, clean my teeth and leave at 8:30 with 10 minutes extra time to spare if shit goes sideways. there’s no way i can possibly be late.

me, still in my pyjamas in bed, scrolling through twitter at 08:59: motherfucker i did it again

my brain with every passing second drawing towards a rapidly approaching deadline:

my last, chronically overworked, almost entirely nonfunctional brain cell: read @ 11:59 PM ✔️✔️

medically accurate muscle chart:

As someone who works in therapy for a living, I can confirm this is 100% accurate

@cosmicdwarf

For Traitor: neck retraction exercise. While lying in bed with your head flat against the mattress, give yourself the biggest double chin you can. Repeat 10 times.

For Jackass: stop hiking your shoulders up to your ears. This is pretty much a stress thing, it’s human instinct to protect our neck when we’re under stress so that predators can’t get at it. Easiest way to do that is be elevating the shoulders, so. Periodically take not of where your shoulders are at.

Absolute Fuckwaffle: stretch out your chest. The rhomboids on the back work to keep our shoulder blades back, so when we’re hunched forward they are constantly straining to do their job. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as telling you to stand up straight, since our pectorals get chronically tight and prevent us from doing so. Step one: pectoral stretches. Hold for at least 20 seconds.

Asshole: Superman exercises. Like the rhomboids, the ESGs are straining against the slump. Stretching the chest will help them, too, but then you e got to strengthen your back. Do 20 of those per day.

traitor tried to murder me last night and fuckwaffle is always up on my shit

I’m gonna try these tips

RHODEY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION WEEK ↳ 6 Moments: Rhodey + “I’m about to end this man’s whole career”

my FAVORITE tropes compiled thanks to some suggestions from others

-“quick act natural” *everyone scrambles to do completely random shit that looks anything but natural*

Always a good one:

- Character A is talking, saying something like “It’s not like anybody would ever be so stupid to do that, right”

*scene changes, Character B is shown doing exactly that stupid thing*

Consider also:

- Character A telling the rest of the cast to “relax, I have a foolproof plan” and then scene immediately changes to show all the cast fleeing for their lives after the failure of the Definitely-Not-A-Plan-Let-Alone-A-Foolproof-One.

- The stoic/sensible character breaking character to do something Completely Reckless and Dumb and then only realizing later that the usually Reckless and Dumb character is rubbing off on them-oh-no-.

FURTHER THAN FILLORY: AN UNOFFICIAL THE MAGICIANS TABLETOP, ROLE PLAYING GAME 2ND EDITION IS NOW OPEN AND FREE OF ACCESS FOR EVERYBODY 

(repost with new links)

The second edition now include

To have the FREE pdf click here or go on the blog where a link is provided

To order a HARD COPY click here (note: I do not make a profit out of the sale of the book it is only covering the printing and shipping fee)

To listen to the playtest podcast click here. Season 2 with the new book just launched!

If you end up creating a campaign keep me updated with your adventures! I want to know!

Once again thank you to all my kickstarter patrons and everyone that came to encourage me, without you I would never have done this project.The book is twice as big as the first and I have never been so proud to finish something like this. Thank you again

Love, Cath

The book official Tumblr

Cover art by Dave Mcleod

Book art by @waxanie and @psyced-t

Edition by: @all-hale-eliot and @thetransmagician

Soulmates aren’t real, are they?

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

yeah hang on

ignore the title of this google doc because it's a long story but it's a really solid recipe for southwest chicken alfredo

this is a vegetarian potato curry recipe that's about 75% spices; once you get the potatoes in there you can really do whatever you want with it

this is literally just pasta, broccoli, and cheese babey and you can live off that shit for DAYS it makes such a big portion

bro this spinach/pesto/3 cheese flatbread is so fucking tasty bro

also you can make the flatbread yourself it's super quick!!

oh hey I'm eating this white chickpea chili right now, much like the curry it's mostly spices and you can do p much do whatever you want with it

don't let the name fool you these potatoes are delicious any time. not just breakfast.

this is slightly more than five ingredient when you add them together but if you have time and really wanna fuckin treat yourself I recommend these chicken strips + this cornbread + either these potatoes or these buttered veggies on the side.

These are my two favorite comfort foods. They're very easy to make and dont take long to cook.

Garlic butter rice

Orzo mac and cheese (comes out a little bit soupy)

this recipe for gogumabap (sweet potato and rice) saved my life when i couldn't eat hardly anything for a long time. the recipe itself calls for a heavy bottomed pot but you can absolutely use a rice cooker and put the rice and diced sweet potato in together and just let the machine do its thing

puppet king, puppet thief

the after y o u

I drew the gang,

my horrible hybrid of all of them

people always talk about evil clones like oooh a dark mirror oohh what if you saw what a cruel person you were/are capable of becoming. and well yes but what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and what you saw was so bright it blinded you. what if you had to know exactly how good you could have been.