This Is Where I Pretend To Be Cool

i feel like dan’s videos take twice their actual length to watch because you have to struggle for like 2 minutes to try to pause at the exact moment in order to read something tiny in comic sans

me: finally realizes what that actor was also in

me: screams the role with no warning or explanation

i love being tight with teachers because you get to hear them talk shit about other teachers its so funny they all act like highschoolers except they get paid 

imagine being at a class reunion like, yeah remember hot tom? i heard he made all of his friends get ugly matching skull tattoos and call him a really ugly french name and also I heard his nose is gone. weird.

I didn’t realize this was about harry potter for a second

I will outscream the cicadas

Can I ask what are cicadas

Demonic, red-eyed hoards of insects that rise from the ground en masse to shed their skins all over tree trunks and SCREAM NON-STOP ALL DAY UNTIL IT BECOMES A KIND OF WHITE NOISE THAT YOU DON’T EVEN REALLY HEAR ANY MORE.

Reblogging just for that description

im literally always looking at my reflection not because im conceited but because i just think it feels kind strange to have a physical form and im constantly trying to process who and what i am

also im conceited

team vain and kinda freaked out by having a body

Whenever my parrot flips out and gets angry, I say, “Hey,” in this soft, comforting voice and then talk to him gently. He calms down within seconds.

I just got frustrated enough at something that I went, “ARGH.” My parrot said, “Hey,” all softly and sweetly like a dozen times over the next minute. It made me feel better instantly.

My parrot is better at conflict de-escalation than most people.

Pros of wearing all black: looks so badass

Cons: everyone knows I had powdered donuts

This didn’t go the direction I expected. It was much better.

I feel this on a spiritual level

I’ve watched this on loop a good 50 times and as a musician I can confirm this to be 10000% true

how do you get a nice body without moving

by learning to love yourself

wow

Too be honest, ‘Uptown Funk’ is going to be one of those songs you’ll hear in 25 years with your kids in your car and you’ll just have to start screaming the lyrics, don’t believe me? Just watch.

one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe