Avatar

I’m Bi But Bi And Bolden-Haired Isn’t A Thing

@gayandgoldenhaired / gayandgoldenhaired.tumblr.com

gabby//25
she//her
eternal optimist.
I like geeky stuff, hot people, and people having rights.
Avatar

Seeking domestic get-together first time shadowgast fic? Here ya go!

Please enjoy

Excerpt:

“So, where are you heading next?” Caleb asks. “Back to the Grove?”

“I think I'm tired of gardening for now. Would also, frankly, like a non-vegetarian meal.” Essek shrugs. “I’m not sure where I’ll go. I have no plans.”

Caleb hmms. Come stay with me, his alcohol-muddled brain insists. “Wherever you go, I’m sure you’ll find something.” I have a spare room. “And if you have business in Rexxentrum, I’m always available for a visit.” There’s a library, and a laboratory—

Essek smiles. “I’ll be sure to take you up on that. If you have time for me in between your teaching and constantly annoying the entire Dwendalian government.”

“Don’t forget inspiring light sedition among the youth.”

“Naturally.” Essek curls his long fingers under his sharp jawline and leans on the arm of the chair. He has a dusting of silver freckles along his cheekbone, like a pale galaxy, or the stars in a beacon. Caleb wonders what colors his skin would turn if he brushed his thumb along that line.

The song changes to something slower and more melancholy; something a bard played when the night had drawn on and the candles were falling low. A slow waltz.

“Dance with me,” Caleb’s tongue says before his brain can stop it. “If you want.”

Essek’s mouth falls open, and Caleb’s stomach falls with it. But then the corners of his mouth curl up and his eyes crinkle, and he says, “With you? Anything.”

Avatar
Avatar
vamprisms

vampire who’s married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

*at the museum* my love, why is my cursed amulet in this display case

Ok, my archaeometrist ass has something to say!

First, an archaeologist wouldn’t carbon date something. It’s not his job. This kind of analysis belongs to the archaeometrist, thank you very much!

Next, using carbon dating on a vampire raise really interesting questions. Because, you see, you can only carbon date completely dead things. Basically, the body absorb Carbon 14 while it’s alive, and after death, this radioactive element slowly decompose (half of it every 5730 years). When you measure how much is left, you can know how long ago the person/plant/whatever died. Going back to the vampire. Officially, vampires are dead. But they feed on human blood, living humans. I’m not sure of the logistic of carbon 14 linking itself to a body, but I think it would false the result. The good news is, as vampire can talk, they would be able to confirm or not. Meaning that we would be able to create a template and see if drinking blood reset your quantity of carbon 14, or if you can still get the age of death of the vampire by removing whatever carbon 14 they ingest through blood. But I think it would depend of how much blood they had ingested since their passing, and a lot of other variables.

The other question is: how dead is a vampire? Do they still breathe? How do they interact with their environment? Would that be enough to keep their carbon 14 at “normal” level? If so, they would be considered alive by this dating technique. Wouldn’t that be an emotional journey for our poor vampire?

I’m actually really invested in this.

*dropping a garlic-free lasagne on the counter top* my love, we’ve talked about inviting archaeometrists to our dinner parties

Avatar

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

Avatar

arthur, to me, is the most tragic merlin character. he is betrayed by everyone he is close to. his whole family. uther was such a bad father to him, morgana went against him, agravaine was never with him. even merlin lied to him. all he tried to do was his best, yet he constantly felt like he was failing. he felt like he had to push people away, that he couldnt let them in. his life was cut short before he could show people who he was.

yes, merlin lost everyone, but he knew the whole time. he knew what was happening, he was able to try and stop it. arthur didnt know. he wasnt told a lot of things. people kept him out of their decisions.

Avatar

Truly love the number of people I've met that have been like "Well I went to a Catholic school as a kid, which is to say I'm not Catholic" like damn Catholic schools really out here doing the exact opposite of missionary work.

Avatar

Nobody was doing it like Mary Magdalene. Tits out. Standing on a mountain. Holding a skull. She’s like the lesbian catholic hamlet. Aesthetically an absolute win for the gays.

Like if I was some peasant girl a few hundred years ago who visited a church or an Italian noble’s house and saw THIS, I’d be signing up with the nun recruiters they sent to my village school on the SPOT.

I just had a flashback to a past life.

Avatar
Avatar
shadow27

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

Avatar
knitmeapony

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

Avatar

the eeriest thing about being present for an eclipse is the way that birds literally start singing their evening song in the middle of the day, and go completely silent during the event. i kind of get why people used to think it was some kind of celestial horror show now to be honest.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.