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Resident Goth Capybara

@herbertwest / herbertwest.tumblr.com

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and smell but of mind. A journey into a wonderous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. You are now entering...the Pancake Zone.  Ted/30
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the nuisance of our language is stunning

ahh but true slavs know they all have slightly different meanings ;)

english sucks because they have like 3 swear words combined

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mathemon

@one-time-i-dreamt can you answer this?

jebati - fuck someone

podjebavati - to screw around with someone

zajebavati - same as above but more joking and lighthearted

zajebati - fuck something up or fuck someone over

izjebati - could mean to fuck someone good or fuck someone up lol

ujebati - made a mistake

razjebati - break something

sjebati - fucked something up, made a mistake

nadjebavati - outsmart someone

jebuckati - to talk minor shit, also a more innocent way to say fuck

odjebati - ditch someone

najebati - get in trouble

prejebati - screw someone over, do something sneaky (bad)

dojebati - move somewhere, often said about people from rural areas moving to big towns

my personal fav - nejebica - state of fucklessness

if you're czech the above sounds even funnier because in czech the -ti word ending is specifically used in highly formal archaic language. so to me it comes off a bit like "i beseech thee to go fuck thyself"

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cloudmancy

need to become a guy who exclusively does evil commissions. like this

WILL DRAW ✓ mecha ✓ gore ✓ furry ✓ nsfw

WILL NOT DRAW X ocs X fanart X simple backgrounds

great question and I'm glad you asked. in this case I would only draw:

  • real people, places, or objects
  • art of media that neither of us are really a fan of
  • unoriginal characters
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in 2015 I needed a job really bad for reasons not worth getting into. i was living in ohio for like 6 months & i just applied at every place within a 30 minute drive from me and i got a call from the local Game Stop mere minutes after submitting the online app, which was obviously a red flag but I wasn’t in the position to be picky.

so they tell me when to show up for orientation & I get there the day-of but the store is closed & locked. i text the manager & he says back “oh yeah. i manage two Game Stops and open them alternate days.”

apparently the Game Stop I originally applied to is open Mondays Wednesdays Fridays and the other one is open Sundays Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays.

They’re 15 minutes apart. I don’t ask whether it would make sense to just have one store locally that is open daily, bc maybe the guy knows something I don’t.

So I get to the other Game Stop and walk in and it seems like there’s no one working there. There’s just a single woman in there wearing an ankle length leather trench coat. She didn’t greet me when I came in & she’s just browsing.

After ten minutes I ask her if she’s seen any employees and she’s like “oh I’m an employee.” She’s not wearing a name tag on the trench coat.

I tell her I’m here for training and she tells me the manager hasn’t come in yet. “he falls asleep playing xbox all the time but if he’s on live we can try pinging him to wake him up.”

I play Xbox and that absolutely doesn’t sound like a thing you can do in the way she’s describing it but once again maybe she knows something I don’t.

I ask if we have an Xbox that we can use to “ping” him and she says “yeah the one in the back we play on.”

She has an English accent by the way, a very specific & posh one which usually wouldn’t be relevant but we’ll get there.

So before she leads me to the Xbox-in-the-back she goes “oh damn. our internet has actually been down all morning, I forgot. We need to call the provider and have them come out and fix it. Can you do that?”

Can I call an unnamed internet provider and schedule them to come do service at a business where I don’t even technically work yet? Idk. She gives me their number and I call them and they put me on hold.

People are walking in and she’s not greeting them. She keeps browsing and people assume like I did that she’s another customer so they’re coming up to the counter where I’m on hold to ask me for help, and then I have to say I can’t help them and to ask the woman in the trenchcoat, and then she says “we can’t sell you anything. internet’s down.”

this goes on for 30 minutes and every time the store is empty she’s chatting at me and I’m on hold and then a man walks in the door and he says “sorry I fell asleep on live again haahaahaa” so this is the manager and the minute she starts speaking to him she no longer has an English accent which has me confused because it did not sound fake.

It was regionally specific and very natural.

the manager asks what I’m doing and I say I’m on hold with the internet provider and he gives me a thumbs up and walks to the back.

so I ask how long she’s lived in the U.S. and say I’m always interested in the way people can sometimes go in and out of accents and she says “oh I’m American. he asked me to stop doing the accent so I only do it when he’s not here.”

Suddenly I wonder what I’m doing here and I tell her I need to leave and I give no excuse but at this point I didn’t feel like I needed one? She said okay! See you later.

The manager didn’t contact me and that night I got offered some other retail job I jumped on.

Three months later the Game Stop manager texts me and asks if I can cover a shift in an hour and I say back “I don’t think I work there? I left an hour into my training. And we never spoke again.” And he texts back “hahahaha right on.”

And you may think wow, what a strange experience that all was but recently I have spoken to friends who did work at Game Stop and when I tell them this story they don’t even blink. Nothing I say surprises them. I was at the average Game Stop

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captainkirkk
Anonymous asked:

So I've been making marionette puppets of my neighbors (I'm taking a class) and let me tell you my landlord/building manager was SUPER not prepared to see the wooden version of him (he lives on my floor) when he came in to fix my stove

Anon no offense but I think I would call the police if I found out one of my neighbours was making wooden puppets of me without my knowledge

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lectorel

I have to applaud anon for having enough skill to make a puppet immediately identifiable as being their landlord. That takes some effort.

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