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i hate when somebody posts some shit on here like "it's gay as fuck for a man to eat breakfast" because then im like well shit now i gotta start eating breakfast or i won't be gay anymore

I really wanna hang out with and get to know like….older lesbians and bi women for the community and solidarity of it all but it’s like. What do I do. Put up an ad? “Are you gay and over 50? I’d like to imprint on you while we participate in a shared hobby. Please respond by email if you think this is normal.”

you know if you want people to be nice to you when you’re sick, maybe don’t live your life in such a way that people rejoice over your death

If you interpret “May you be treated the same way that you treated others” as a threat or an insult, then that’s on you, isn’t it?

i think i should go full hamlet today. i think i deserve to lose my shit publicly

Her reaction to seeing my face after our nap 

(Source)

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014) dir. Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement

Some good news in the midst of all this chaos.

[good for her.jpg]

hockey boy: *exists*

me: oh i am going to cuddle the shit out of you!

March 2020 vibe

i may not have any braincells, but i make up for it by having many heartcells

2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party | Black Excellence 

When you sit in silence with someone you barely know , it’s the most awkward thing in the world , but when you do it with someone you close to it’s the most normal thing in the world.

The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off

The spy is following me as I walk down the street. I bob in and out of shops. Pause and accelerate my pace randomly. Stop to tie my shoe so he loses sight of me. I stay perfectly out of his reach. This is all due to being sleep deprived, confused, hungry, and lost

The spy freezes my bank account. I do not notice for three weeks and only because Netflix sends me an email about non-payment

The spy chasing me does a stakeout at my house. After 4 days of trying to match my sleeping pattern he has to call HQ for backup