Hyperfixtion At It’s Finest!

WHY ARE NONE OF YOU FUCKERS FLIPPING SHIT?!?

NASA HAS DECLARED PLUTO A PLANET AGAIN

IT HAS MOONS!!!!! IT HAS MOONS!!!!!!!

WHAT. WHAT! PLUTO YOU FUCKING DID IT!

VIVA LA PLUTO, YOU DID IT!!!

here’s a source, National geographic y’all

VIVA LA PLUTO YASSS

VIVA LA PLUTO WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT YOU FUCKING SUPERB SMOL PLANET YOU!!!!!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2018/05/07/yes-pluto-is-a-planet/

another source because the nat geo one seemed confusing, you go pluto! get em!

WELL DONE PLUTO!!! :D

FUCKING YES MY SON YOU DID IT!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, PLUTO!!!!!!!!!!

and then there were none

abs are cancelled. we all about soft tummies now

Mother duck asks for help to save her children

Now this is the type of content I wanna see 

melchiorgabor

my DREAM JOURNAL blog was ?????? flagged???? theres not even any ????? photos???

STAFF TOOK YOUR DREAM JOURNAL

20 year old beginner: one year of learning flute and butterfly knife skillz :)

Fun fact: Adults actually learn those “You need to practice!” skills better than children do. 

Kids tend to want to do literally anything aside from learning this skill my parent is forcing me to learn. 

Adults actually can sit down and practice things for hours on end. Adults WANT to practice to get their skills better. Adults deliberately set aside time every day to practice. Even if it’s just 20 minutes, it’s productive growth and not wiggling in your chair mournfully watching birds out the window. 

Anything from Drawing to Weaving to Violin to fuckin flipping bufferfly knives like a pro - choose a skill and LEARN, dammit! None of that ‘Children’s brains are more malleable’ bullshit. Brain squish is not the end-all of learning! 

Juniper

So I’ve been ruining my kids lives by saying “weird flex but ok” to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell me they’re running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it

Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst “to flex on” live memes ever to pretend I’m an even more really lame parent. they don’t have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn’t obvious I’m intentionally trying to be more lame

Here’s the ones I came up with so far

“You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease?”

“You ever just boil chilies to flex on your eyes?”

“You ever just be cool to flex on your kids?”

“You ever just use sanitizer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?”

“You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad?”

Catholic edition:

“You ever just like receive the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan?”

“You ever just like love your Mom to flex on Protestants?”

So I executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn’t say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he’s walking down the street

Ok so I walked down the block and I found him

Update

Your son is named Egg.

Every part of this is hilarious

game developer: this game is multiplayer ONLY, we want you to play this game ONLY WITH YOUR FRIENDS

me, no friends mcFuck: great

my one friend: doesn’t like the game

My other friend: Doesn’t wanna spend 60 bucks on that game

And another friend: Doesn’t have the time to play the game

Me: Plays on PC

Friend: Plays on playstation

Other friend: Plays on xbox

Another friend: Doesn’t game

Marshmallow tacos

just watch and you will understand

hey i have a little surprise for you. put out your hands

thank you… I will keep them SAFE and SOUND

“M-My box…”

Do you ever just stop and appreciate the beauty of nature?