momma-cassidy reblogged

indigo-night-wisp

college gothic

someone in your class mentions communism. they speak about it at length. you are in biology class.
you text your mother. she does not respond for 3 days. you text her again and then realize that it has only been 2 hours since your first text.
freshmen travel in packs. what are they afraid of.
your class is in room 153. the numbers start at 201. you cannot find the first floor.
someone is talking about communism. it is not the same person as last time. this is an english class.
your transcript says you have an A in philosophy 3310. you do not remember taking this class. what did you learn? what did you do?
you meet your elevator buddy. you do not speak. you never do. you ride in silence. one day, they are not there. you miss them.
your advisor refers you to the registrar. the registrar refers you to admissions. admissions refers you to both the registrar and your advisor. you have spoken to two people who do not exist and one who has been dead for ten years.
the boy who sits next to you wears the same clothes everyday. you think this is strange but when you mention it, he tells you that this is the first time he has worn this outfit. you realize that you have lived this day before.
you pass someone sleeping in the quad. he has always been there. stop looking at him.
someone answers, “communism.” it is not someone who has been previously mentioned. the question was, “what is an example of the art of ancient greece?”
you have a doppelganger on campus. you have never met them. they know all of your friends.
the seniors speak only to professors. their eyes are dead. they have given up the safety of the pack long ago.
the professor is talking about STD’s. your math class is very strange.
the powerpoint is in comic sans. you suspect that your economics professor is an extraterrestrial being after all.
“communism,” the man serving you lunch insists. wearily you nod. that’s what everyone says.

momma-cassidy reblogged

nippular

foulserpent

ok i think ive come up with a playlist that encompasses all known uniquely human experiences:

“arsonists lullaby” by hozier, “closer” by nine inch nails, “running up that hill (a deal with god)” by kate bush, and “loveshack” by the B-52s.

these experiences are, of course: arson, horny depression, 3 am manic episode trying to bargain with god, and when youve got you a car thats as big as a whale and youre heading on down to the love shack

momma-cassidy reblogged

me, waking up in a cold sweat: YOU GOT TO STAY BRIGHT TO BE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD

momma-cassidy reblogged

joshpeck

fartgallery

Spooning is out, spatulaing is the next big trend. Slide up behind your partner and then launch them out of bed

momma-cassidy reblogged

fatmomsgetfit

I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW

#look me in the eye... yolo yolo

momma-cassidy reblogged

historys-hoe

AP Gothic

You open the test booklet. The first page is formulas. The second page is formulas. They’re all formulas. You can’t find the questions. Everyone around you is diligently working. You flip through the booklet but all of it is formulas. They consume you.
“Close your booklet and stop working.” Pencils sound as they hit the desk. Time is called. Time doesn’t answer. Where is it? It is lost. You are all lost.
You are told to seal the multiple choice question booklet. The white labels don’t fit properly in the designated sections. None of this fits. You may never discuss these questions. They no longer exist. They never existed. Ryan tried to fight back. They drag him away. Ryan never existed either.
The test references AP students in it. Haha. The test is very funny. Laugh. College Board wants you to laugh. College Board just wants to be friends. College Board is very friendly. College Board beckons you closer. Closer. They are very funny. L A U G H
You may only use black or blue ink. Your pen breaks. The ink spills everywhere. Milky black liquid falls over everything you knew and loved. The College Board confiscates it. “How can we accurately assess your skills without gathering all your materials?” They smile. You never noticed they had so many teeth before.
The proctor reads the instructions and you begin writing. The proctors circle you. They lean over your test and make disapproving noises. They are hunting. They pick out the weak. You will be next.

momma-cassidy reblogged

tempcst

fanboyingoverdemigods

not even fuckin risking it at this stage

#ap test #AP cal bc #ap calc

momma-cassidy reblogged

castielandmoriarty

princesconsuela

#reference

momma-cassidy reblogged

sixpenceee

These clouds are not caused by smoke or dust, but millions of hatching lake flies.

mooiammariah

You would not believe your eyes

😩 👊🏽/||\_ _/¯ ¯\_

If ten million fireflies

👋🏽 \ 😳 || \_ _/¯ ¯\_

momma-cassidy reblogged

angry-green-one

adventures-in-theatre

story time: presidential edition

so you know how everyone has a story
you know
like the story
like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
and you know exactly what they mean
the story
well
i have a story
and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
barack obama
pre-2008 reebok sneakers
and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life
so here we go
it all began eight years ago
(i was a gangly child then)
and barack obama came to town
(when i was a young girl)
(my father took me out into the city)
(to see the president of the united states, obama)
(barack obama)
except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked
and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s)
(people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)
so i skipped school to see obama
(naturally)
(but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence)
and the adventure begun
but as i soon learned
most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours
because there is no timing with obama
(barack obama)
no one can know when obama is supposed to be there
(barack obama)
there is no, like, obama warning system
(barack)
it’s just that one second he’s not there
and the next second
he’s there
(barack obama)
so it was eight hours
and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me
‘how are your studies,’ he said
how’s school, he probably meant
but i didn’t understand at the time
i was a gangly child
i was scared
he was tall
(i cried)
and then all of a sudden
(about eight hours into the eight hours)
he was there
(barack obama)
he was beauty
he was grace
he was
(barack obama)
he walked into the room
he wasn’t wearing reeboks
(i noticed)
(i began to feel i’d made a mistake)
my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others
(rich people)
(ceo’s)
(none of whom were wearing reeboks)
and at the very end
obama began to leave
(barack obama)
i was happy enough to have graced his presence
but my parents
my parents were not happy
they needed more
‘mr. obama,’ they called
and they pointed to me
‘of course,’ obama said
(barack obama)
he’s so nice, i thought
and then it hit me
oh no, i thought
oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably
i’m obama, obama thought, most likely
i was going to meet obama
up close and personal
obama
(barack obama)
the rest was a blur
and the next thing i knew i was there
with obama
(barack obama)
his hand was shaking my hand
his hand was on my hand
(nothing had ever felt so right)
‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked
(with obama’s voice)
(because he was obama)
(barack obama)
and i almost forgot but i told him
and he said it correctly even though it’s weird
(obama said my name)
and we were off to a good start
how was i to know
how was i to know the horrors to come
‘so how old are you,’ he asked then
and that’s when this dream became a nightmare
‘twelve,’ i said
a seemingly innocent answer
but here’s the thing
i was
thirteen.
(thirteen)
(13)
(12+1)
(16-3)
(13.0)
(Thirteen.)
what have i done, i thought
(panic! at the election)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4
i still don’t know why i did it
did i really forget?
did i do it for the thrill of the chase?
to see if i could?
maybe
but obama didn’t know
i did it, i thought, i lied
i lied to the president of the united states
i pulled it off
the greatest lie in history
the greatest heist
(i didn’t know what a heist was)
(i was thirteen)
‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said
shit.
i was so close
shit what do i say, i thought
the journey is not over
the nightmare rages on
what do i say
i open my mouth to say, yes
‘no,’ i say
what the fuck, i think
‘no i’m in 7th grade”
(because i was)
maybe he won’t know, i thought
but he did.
(obama’s been around the block)
(obama knows what’s up)
‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said
(i wasn’t)
(i failed basic math at least twice by this time)
‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over
just wanting the lie to end
for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me
to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies
i waited
i waited for arrest
but arrest didn’t come
and that was even worse.
obama trusted me
obama thought i was a good kid
obama thought i was ahead of my class
(ahead of my class)
i let him down
i let obama down
(barack obama)
i watched him leave
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k
obama, i mouthed out after him
obama i’m sorry
(he trusted me)
why did i do it, you ask
i don’t know
after all these years
i still don’t know
it still haunts me
i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think
i lied to the president of the united states
(twice)
the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office
i’m smiling through my pain
i’m wearing reeboks
obama is not
(barack obama)
i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement
we can put this all behind us and start anew
start fresh
(no more lies)
(no more deceit)
but i’m not naive
i know that we can never really go back
back to the way things were
five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied
but i can dream
i can hope
obama
obama i’m sorry
(barack obama)