Maxwell has anger management issues

he fucking killed her

best tumblr glitch of all time 

bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM

Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle

The smile on his face says it all!

will anything ever be as iconic as brooklyn nine nine getting cancelled and then being picked up for another season the day after? unlikely

me, as a kid: i can’t wait til i’m an adult so i can stay up late EVERY NIGHT

me, as an adult, crawling into bed at 6:30 pm: oh thank god

people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch the fuck out

flirting like

I accidentally made eye contact with a mall booth salesperson and barely escaped a 25 minute long skin care demonstration where she tried to trap me in a sale no less than 4 times

The rules of engagement for mall kiosk owners and pokemon trainers are exactly the same

Your belly button is just your old mouth.

….

I was having a good day.  We were all having a good day.