“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

“Whats your safe word?”

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

Lol i need to be his friend

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

“Ooo that’s cute”

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

story time.

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

I’m actually crying

name a more iconic trio

question: how would you deal with cyber attacks against the US government? 

donald trump: i am so strongly against cyber. we came up with the internet. cyber is a big issue. we need to be SMART and QUICK. let me tell you. my son has a computer. he’s 10! he’s so good on that computer so good you wouldn’t believe it!

republicans:

This sounds like a joke BUT HE SAID THIS!!!!

family feud is a national treasure 

HOLY SHIT I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR WEEKS PRAUSE JESUS

OW.

y’all probably tired of these by now…but I’m not. lol

Exactly.

This is so cute! ☺🍫️🍦(Priya and Josiah // when Josiah got his wisdom teeth taken out)

SWIRL LIFE

Comment 🔥 if you been lit. Song: You Ain’t Shit - Wolftyla (Y.A.S.)

LEMONADE (2016) - Beyoncé

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Just blessed my life