#I wOuLd LiKe To SpEaK tO yOuR lEgAl GuArDiAn
if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules
As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.
You are a mermaid, sir
Guards: Oh no. Wait. Stop. No. Don’t steal those. Get back here, you criminal. (Pfft! Can’t believe they’re falling for it!)
I read that in a sarcastic voice
stop
why is this so funny?
This is my favorite because of how much greek people love potatoes now.
Donald Trump removed the KKK, Neo-Nazi and other white supremacist groups from the Terrorist Watchlist and will focus all his counter-terrorist on ones carried out by Muslims - two years after Dylan Roof killed 8 black churchgoers & right after the Quebec massacre where a white supremacist killed 8 Muslims at their mosque. I will never forgive or carry any sympathy for those who voted for him.
After claiming to have watched Felix Baumgartner’s famous Red Bull Stratos jump from the edge of space, recording artist B.o.B is furiously tweeting everything science says about the Earth being round is a total lie. Why is he doing this? We have an idea.
Follow @the-future-now
Update: Neil deGrasse Tyson has joined the fray to lay the scientific smackdown on B.o.B.
Tyson sent the rapper multiple tweets disproving him and then things got personal.
Update: This feud is getting weirder and weirder. B.o.B released a new track “Flatline” on Monday, that takes a few shots at Neil deGrasse Tyson. “Aye, Neil Tyson need to loosen up his vest,” the rapper spits. “They’ll probably write that man one hell of a check.”
And then Tyson fired back with a diss track of his own. Really.
The astrophysicist enlisted the help of his nephew Stephen J. Tyson, who is apparently a rapper. Tyson delivers the facts at B.o.B. over a Drake beat.
Update: It got better. Neil deGrasse Tyson apparently wasn’t done educating B.o.B. Here’s what happened on The Nightly Show:
This is the greatest thing happening right now.
What a time to be alive
A true epic rap battle. Imagine any other scientist in history proving something the same way.
OMG THE TINY PLEASED EXPRESSION ON THAT LEMON’S FACE
It’s so happy to finally have been summoned. Let the lemon have his moment.
:^)
Nutella day!
Check out the perfect mug for all Nutella (and Disney) lovers. You can also replace Nutella with peanut butter!
RvB: Reds and blues haven’t fought in several seasons and even though they tend to hang out with their respective teams its clear that they have moved past blood gulch and have friends on both teams.
RvB fandom: I will cut you you blue son of a bitch.
business email glossary
a concept: Harry Potter with his mother’s hair and father’s eyes instead of vice versa. Harry with fiery dark red hair and soft hazel eyes please and thank you
i imagine this is how harry and draco’s first meeting would have gone then haha
can you imagine how much more confused arthur would have been in that scene where he first meets harry 😂
his eyes would probably sweep right over harry at the breakfast table, and then he would freeze and have to do a mental tally of his children
I can see Fred and George really going with it too… “Come on Dad, don’t you remember Harry?” “Next you’ll tell us you don’t remember Craig” “Or Ethel” “Or Annie“ “Or Ryan”
“Or Ron”
barbie is Bi.
Of course she’s bi what straight woman wears a jean button up shirt
oh my god im laughing because apparently so many people not familiar with the british education system think that the whole school houses thing was a made up thing in harry potter?? like no we actually have those
the houses at my school are named after constellations and i’m in draco
our houses were named after the people that lived there (it was a monastery, then a country house then a school) Augustine (aster the monks) Howard (family of henry viii 5th wife, Warren (after William de Warrenne, who faught with William the conqueror) and Lymden.
how the fuck do they sort y'all
What does noon to afternoon mean?
12:00-12:01
He dips his hands in wet cement and then goes home. He does this every day. Just for his dog.
@ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.
HE GONE.
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.