my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

A message to my fellow passive people… People who aren’t willing to compromise aren’t worth your time ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Shikamaru is such a mood..

TikTok has convinced so many people that you're autistic or ADHD if you have completely typical experiences like "getting songs stuck in your head" or "having a strong sense of social justice" or "reverently kissing the ice-cold crown of the crow lord". No, you do not need to have autism to squeeze your eyes shut and stand completely still as a living statue to demonstrate your total submission to the crow lord. Plenty of neurotypical people bring him tributes of glass beads, tinfoil strips, roadkill, coins from dead men's pockets, and mice or rabbits fattened weeks in advance. Honestly TikTok has become such a dangerous engine for spreading misinformation. I wouldn't be surprised if they provoke the wrath of the crow lord soon.

[Image ID: tag that reads "reverence for the crow lord is the least nd thing about me" /end ID]

What's more attractive than a partner who "lets you" infodump to them?

One who asks to be infodumped to. One who tries their very hardest to involve themselves in the fixations you're neurotic about.

Nothing says ~I love you~ like having your hobbies taken seriously 💛

Tianyi Zhou

— Theodor W. Adorno, “Functionalism Today”

it feels like 2011 was 3 years ago

it… it was….

hmm perhaps that is why I feel that way then

wrong it was 10 years ago don’t know what that other guy was talking about

wow the gang’s really all back together. how you doing bewbin

Being in your twenties is just

Have I eaten today? Do I have autism? I want a new job. Am I dehydrated? God, I want top surgery so bad. Where's my birth certificate? Oh it's nice out today! Should I get high tonight? I'm so hungry. I'm so sad. Do my friends hate me? I need a nap. I'd be so much hotter without tits.

nurse feratu and dr. acula are ready to see you for your blood tests

You ever just realized how lucky you are that you did that weird thing that led to you being friends with the people you are friends with?

so....vampirism. by medical definition, an STD. we are agreed, yes?

saliva/bloodborne pathogen. transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids. i am a fount of logic overflowing

isn't it so funny there's such a thing as "customer service voice"? Like I have to speak to you like a child or you'll rip my face off like a wild chimp

no piece of teen media has ever accurately depicted the quiet psychological warfare of bullying. bullies on TV are always dumb brutes and not the evil geniuses of emotional manipulation that they are in real life. being given a wedgie and having your lunch money stolen is nothing in comparison to a classmate quietly creating a taboo against speaking to you that they intend to enforce against all the other kids. it’s nothing like continuous cutting comments from people you thought were being nice to you. that way that the work of one kid can make you feel like every person on earth silently hates you and that you are dirty, disgusting, worthless, creepy and useless. that you can have friends but many of them will not speak to you at school for fear of the social consequences on their end. how that damage lasts in any social setting for the rest of your life

you can’t even “tell a trusted adult” because you cannot begin to articulate the thousands of small transgressions you’ve experienced building to the horror of knowing your peers would like you dead. they don’t have to say it or hurt you physically. they have other ways of letting you know they’d prefer if you were worn fuel

what do the 4 people who always like my posts want for christmas

“are you sure you want to unsubscribe?” no i just scrolled to the bottom of the email and clicked the link just for the thrill of opening another tab