Reblog if you think public libraries are important and should be maintained.

Don't get me wrong, I love the dreamy fairytale-ness of the Ghibli movie version of Howl's Moving Castle, but the book. The book. Sophie, first off, being so incredibly set on being the boring un-gifted un-adventuresome eldest daughter (as is right and fitting for an eldest daughter to be) that she doesn't notice she's working magic, like, constantly? And when a witch shows up like "hey girlie you are fully working SO much magic that I'm feeling threatened, so like I'm gonna put you in the old lady dimension ciao," she's like well. That was weird. Anyway I guess I better go find something to do as an old lady. And she reasons that this famously evil sorcerer who eats young girls' hearts is probably safe for her now cause like. She's old. What's he gonna do to me. And proceeds to bully her way into becoming his cleaning lady. And Howl, known flaky whimsical fuckboy extraordinaire, is like sure okay I guess that works for me. And just as well because it turns out he's also a fucking bottom who kinda digs this strong stubborn lady who's steamrolled her way into his life, kinda weird that she's disguised as an old woman but w/e he's not gonna question her life choices and like it's not actually a problem for him, and by the time Sophie's figured out that oh crap oh shit she's actually kinda into this flighty asshole, what am I gonna do, he'd never return my feelings in a hundred years, Howl's basically accepted that they're mostly married. And also how can you top "my extremely powerful and slightly fey wizard is just a Welsh grad student who wandered into a portal one day" for a character concept. You can't. It's the perfect book really

being a pepper plant has to be so weird.

Imagine evolving capsaicin specifically to stop mammals from eating your fruits, and then a mammal comes along that not only will eat your fruits, but likes them specifically because of the capsaicin, so much that it starts using its weird paws to distribute and care for your seeds, which turns into a strong selective force that literally starts evolving you into producing MORE capsaicin and makes you a WAY more successful and wider ranged species than you ever were before

simply because this mammal LOVES Pain Chemical. that evolved specifically to produce pain in mammals. It's not that the capsaicin isn't WORKING. It's just that these freaks like it.

This is the same mammal with social instincts so goddamn strong that they literally try to form social bonds with their predators, and end up evolving the predators into a new species that fits into their social communities as a form of mutualistic symbiosis, and exists in several different forms with unique morphology and behaviors based on the function they perform.

Instead of, I don't know, EVOLVING TO BE FASTER, this animal finds a faster animal and sits on it. Which shouldn't even work because the faster animal is a prey animal and this animal is a predator, but SOMEHOW they FORM A SOCIAL BOND WITH THE PREY. So they can sit on it while it runs fast. And somehow the prey animal?? is cool with this?? and benefits from this relationship???

Literally how can you hate humans. Humans are possibly the most hilarious thing evolution has ever done.

other things humans have done

humans worldwide looking up into the celestial vault of stars a million light years away, separated from Earth by the deadly cold and emptiness of space: I bet there are guys up there to form social bonds with

You telling me that Jack Black would not be 1000% down to be kidnapped by the muppets for a shenanigan, or possible a hijink?

Mr. The Frog still sends me more than “we all agreed a celebrity is not a people”

I kind of feel like Jack Black would somehow end up running his own kidnapping because the muppets can’t get it together.

Whoever designed this Pallas Cat pillow, I salute you.

I can now have my very own angry orb.

x

Screaming hairy armadillo (Chaetophractus vellerosus)

isekai about a nyc apartment block getting teleported into a fantasy realm, and how this group of people who previously have only had incidental contact with one another come together to build a vibrant community in their new circumstances. there's a season-long arc about introducing bagels and pizza to the fantasy world that gets into the details of sourcing ingredients, developing new technologies, and learning how to work with supernatural substitutions.

Clarifying question: just the people or the buildings and animal life too?

And does it include random people on the street at the time of the transfer?

oh the whole thing for sure, im picturing the whole city block with a crust of sidewalk just dropped onto the outskirts of a small medieval village. im thinking theres probably a corner store and a couple other things included too, so youve got the people who work there or were shopping at the time of the transfer too.

i hadnt thought of animals but having a whole thing w pigeons would be awesome too; have new york feral pigeons meeting with tamed messenger pigeons of the era, a raccoon that was sleeping in a trash can eats a magical necklace and starts talking. love it.

fucking love this. an army of monster rats descend upon the kingdom, led by a single subway rat under the banner of a half-eaten pizza crust

But they do not anticipate the rise of the Hero, their one, true, and most worthy foe—

THE BODEGA CAT

#Tumblr's “Yes and” game remains strong and on-point

Bagels are fairly simple to make in a typical medieval fantasy world, but I do assume that finding tomatoes for the pizza would be A Quest.

Indian Fox (Vulpes bengalensis) by Dr.Bhattu

meditations on the odyssey

Edgin whacking people with his lute

His official fucking statblock:

okay i haven’t seen this movie yet but i need people to know that’s more thunder damage than thunderwave (at its base level anyway)

you know, the spell that produces a wave of concussive force that can knock you back 10ft, and so much sound (thunder damage is soundwave damage) that the description states everyone in a 300ft radius can hear it

Love this for him.

we're all so lucky that a cat can be orange. that's such an incredible color for a cat to be

You work as the minor villain every new hero has to beat for their first battle.

She had always been something of a figure of fun. Obscurata, with her melodramatic latin name and power to make darkness, who robbed banks and liquor stores and could be foiled by a teenager in a home-made costume. 

Tank had encountered her years ago, when he was a teenager in a homemade costume, and foiled her on his second attempt. It was almost a rite of passage - if you could take on Obscurata, you were ready for the life. Anyone who couldn’t take her down in five or six attempts tended to quit. 

It had been a surprise to see that rippling dark cape here, and a disappointment. He had... not a fondness, exactly, but a soft spot for Obscurata. She wasn’t one of the really bad ones. Older heroes steered the young ones towards her, knowing that they’d come out of a fight with her bruised but whole. She never killed. She never even seriously harmed. He hated to see her working with the Claw, who did. 

He tried not to let it distract him. Claw had taken a girl - Lily, one of a trio of new-minted girl heroes - in Tank’s city. He’d been keeping an eye on the girls, and he’d dropped everything to go in pursuit when he realized it was Claw who had Lily. Obscurata might have bruised and frightened her a little, but Claw’s captives usually wound up dead... or worse. 

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

Barry: Eat the rich!

Bruce: Oh thank Go-

Clark: Oh, I intend to 🥴🥵

It’s Batman’s turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.

Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?

“I would fuck —-, I would marry —-, and then I would commit suicide.”

“Batman, that’s not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.”

“I did.”

“…WHAT?!”

“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out of this conversation.”

This works best if the reveal comes after literally everyone else has played, and half of the people have said “I’d marry Bruce Wayne for the money” and the other half have not only said that they’d fuck him, but been reasonably graphic as to how.

Flash: So, tall, dark, and scary, what’ll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets? Maybe you’ll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here, work him over like a hunk of meat like Supes? Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what’ve you got for us?

Batman: -pauses- Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be a better time for this. -pulls off his cowl-

Justice League: -horrified screeching-

pLEASE- 😭🤚

World Heritage Post

Orc BBQ would be fucking unreal

After the war of the ring people are trying to figure out what to do with the fucked up bird that the Witch King of Angmar rode in on. A few days later, a wagon train of orcs arrives at the gate of Minas Tirith with cartloads of flour, breadcrumbs, and fry oil.

And on that day, Grond, Hammer of the Underworld, was gutted of it's terrible purpose, reforged, transformed, reborn, into the greatest smoker in all of middle earth.

I was thinking about how in video games “temple” is basically a word for “building with lots of pillars that has loot in it” and then I was like “haha what if there was a post apocalyptic game where you just looted megachurches” and wAIT GOOD IDEA ACTUALLY

Now THIS

is design, bitches

Just the right mix of religious awe, modernist mediocrity and glurge

These pictures all make my head hurt, but I DO kinda feel like you could fight cultists and/or eldritch abominations there? Or at least a Beholder or something.

Velociraptor String Puppet | lauramathewsart on Instagram