Lmfao I can’t right now but basically my friends that wanted to go to the bad bunny concert and asked me to get the tickets but they didn’t want to pay a lot so I had to get literal last row seats instead of the seats I wanted are now trying to get out of concert like wtf I’m feeling pretty annoyed because I only bought these tickets with them just to go with them, I’m also going tonight so I’m seeing him twice and it’s just like if I’m going by myself then I just wasted my ducking money and it’s so shady how they did it

So one of the friends hadn’t paid me yet but he said many times that he’s definitely going and I figured I would ask him to pay me once we confirmed what the plan for that day was, and because he lives out on Long Island, so I asked in our GC if he would want to sleep over my place afterwards and I didn’t get a response right away but his phone is always on DND so I figured he just didn’t see it. And then I found out my bf’s friend is coming to stay with us this weekend so I texted letting him know that there’s also another person staying with us that night but the guy isn’t going to the concert and then finally my friend responded today, the day before the concert saying that he’s been so busy and he’s really tired and he’s just not feeling up for a concert right now so he wanted to offer his ticket to my bf’s friend instead but if he doesn’t want it then he’ll go with us. And I was pissed but you know what, shit happens and it works out cuz now my bf’s friend can go to the concert with us and we’re adults and I’m not gonna force someone to do something they don’t wanna do so I just said “ok I’ll ask him” and then “he said he’ll go to the concert” and then after I said that, my other friend texts saying that she might not be able to go because the person covering her shift at work can’t go, and I’m thinking, OK well that’s so convenient… idk if that was true or she just doesn’t want to go either but she already paid me for her ticket and I’m not giving her the money back idc cuz I don’t know anyone else who wants to go and it was her fault for not requesting off work, I reminded her a month before and again 2 weeks before what day the concert was but she said she forgot and thought it was Saturday and requested the wrong day off. Well whatever and now I’m like these are my best friends from college and I don’t want to be a bitch but I feel like they wasted my time and my money too because I would’ve only gone to one show if I knew they weren’t coming. But anyways I haven’t gone off on them yet, I just said “omg” when she said the person covering her cancelled

BRO I KNEW IT he said he didn’t finish at work and I’m like it’s totally fine but then he was like I really wanna see you soon so let’s plan something and I felt bad cuz I was like “I’m actually pretty busy next week but I do wanna hang out” and I told him like I gotta see what my work schedule is like and I said maybe Tuesday (like I guess if I plan my nail appointment for the middle of the day instead of right after work tbh) or maybe next Saturday (my friend’s birthday party is at night so maybe I could meet him in the afternoon idk) but damn I lowkey sounded like I was gonna flake on him LMFAO and I’m not trying to flake like I wanna hang out but I’m just so busy next week😭😭

But lmfao when I told him idk what my work schedule is next week he was like what do you mean? And I’m like well Im a server so my boss posts the schedule for the following week on Saturdays, so I’ll find out on Saturday what days I’m free next week and he was like oh why don’t you have the same schedule every week? And I’m like cuz it’s a restaurant 💀💀

Well at least I can do some chores tonight

MAN this guy is super cute but I’m lowkey like eh I feel like we’re so different lol like he sounds really cool and chill, and I feel like I’m just too awkward and shy for a guy like that and tbh I usually go for guys like him but it’s just been so long since I was dating, and my ex was a totally different vibe (not in a bad way but like my ex was new to the US so like it was OK to have awkward moments in the beginning we could just blame it on the language barrier or cultural differences, and he was also the same personality type as me like kinda shy at first) but he’s also just different cuz he’s a Bronx guy I never dated a guy from the Bronx like only transplants in manhattan really LMFAO or guys from Long Island/upstate, or from other countries. Well I dated one guy who was from manhattan but we went on 2 dates and that was it.

Idk I’m telling myself like I know I would have fun with this guy and i think he could be a fun person to hook up with from time to time but he might be looking for something serious based on how he was talking to me but I don’t know yet so let’s see

Im just not ready for a relationship like I just want to have fun and I guess test the waters dating again since it’s been so long but I feel like I should’ve chosen a less cool guy to start with lol

Omg hell nah he just texted me asking if he can call me, I’m sure he’s gonna ask to reschedule which is fine but why not just text lmfao and he didn’t specify if he’s gonna call me on FaceTime or regular voice call but I’m fresh out the shower with no makeup on in my pajamas I look terrible and I don’t wanna be surprised with a FaceTime

LMFAO It’s 7pm and this man has been texting me but has not suggested a meet up time or place yet… I’m ready to just not meet up at this point and I’m like smfh like I wanna hang out with this guy but my meeting tomorrow is really important and I have a bunch of work to catch up on so I can not be out late tonight. And he asked me how work was going earlier today and I said oh it’s been busy today, I’m preparing for a meeting tomorrow with my managers, and he asked what kind of work is making it busy and I just told him like there was a new program rolled out but it has a lot of technical errors and my boss asked me to record all the issues and present it to the program managers tomorrow. And then he was just like “oh so tomorrows a big day. Which job is this for?” (WELL my other job is a server LMFAO so obviously it’s my office job but whatever) and I told him for my office job like 15 minutes ago and now im waiting for a reply but like idk I feel like that was me hinting that I don’t wanna be out late tonight, so I’m just like why hasn’t he asked me what time I wanna meet up or given me a location???? And idk I guess I should’ve just texted him asking for a time but I was busy asf at work and I didn’t feel like spending time drafting that text up cuz I think since he asked me out and told me he wanted to take me to a place he knows then he should give me the details without me having to ask for it or like at least negotiate it lol

Well whatever I’m not gonna get ready and be sitting here waiting for him to give me details cuz we are very quickly passing my window of availability and I’m not gonna waste my time shaving my whole body and putting on cute makeup if there’s still a possibility that the plans might not happen…

Ugh but I still wanna hang out with him another day but I am just too busy for the next two weeks like I forgot that actually I have an event on next week Wednesday night with my club friends from college and I also need to get my nails done, probably on Tuesday cuz the event on Wednesday is semi formal so technically the only day that I might be free is Thursday next week but only if I don’t sell the bad bunny tickets but tbh at this point I’m probably not gonna find someone to buy them for anywhere near the original cost and part of me is like well if if I can’t sell the tickets then I should definitely just go to the concert right?? I guess I should lower the listing price some more, right now I had it listed for $70 less than what I paid but maybe I need to list it for like $200 less 😭😭😭

Omg so this guy told me he wants to take me out for dinner Thursday night so I’ve kept my schedule clear and I talked to him yesterday on FaceTime and I thought we’d discuss the plan for tonight lmfao but we didn’t really do that. He said he still wants to take me out tomorrow but didn’t say what time or where. I told him I get out of work at 5pm so I’m available any time after 5pm (now I didn’t specify that I wanna be home by midnight but at the time I assumed that was implied since I have work tomorrow and all week he was saying goodnight to me at 11:30pm so I figured he’d want to be home around that time too). He just said he’s working on a new project at work in Jersey today, so I guess he’s gotta see what time he gets out of work or whatever, and he also told me he’s gonna get a haircut today too so I’m like is he gonna want to meet up late or something?? I don’t really wanna be out super late tonight😭 I have a bunch of shit that I need to do like errands to run and cleaning too… and i gotta get ready beforehand right so I need to shave my body and wash my hair and do my makeup (probably like 3 hours to get ready lmfao), and I don’t like the idea of doing all that shit before I know where and when we’re gonna meet up in case he cancels. And I also don’t wanna do my errands before he sets a time in case he just texts me in the middle of my errands like “let’s meet up in an hour” and then I don’t have time to get ready. And also I just realized I ran out of razors so now I also need to go to the CVS before getting ready too😭

Also he lives far like all the way at the top of manhattan and I imagine I’m meeting him somewhere around midtown maybe? Or uptown but idk I don’t feel like going all the way up there if we’re gonna meet up later than 7pm. And regardless of the time it’s probably gonna be in manhattan so like that’s at least a 30 minute commute there… so ideally I need 4 hours notice and it’s 4pm right now and he hasn’t given me anymore info yet. LMFAO I wish I could cancel but all week I said Thursday works best for me, and I do like him and I definitely wanna hang out but this last minute time frame is stressing me out. IDK tbh I also don’t wanna be the one who’s like “so where and what time are we meeting up?” Because I already told him when I’m available yesterday and he seemed like he didn’t know exactly when he’s gonna be ready. And also when he asked me out he said he was gonna plan everything like he said he wants to take me out to his favorite restaurant, so I’m hoping maybe he has something good already planned out but tbh I doubt it cuz why not tell me the plans then? Also I have an important meeting tomorrow with the managers at my job regarding many issues in the new policy roll out and I still haven’t finished preparing all of my concerns/questions so I’m gonna need to work on it tomorrow morning, which is why I don’t wanna go to bed super late. And I also have a customer meeting tomorrow immediately after the managers’ meeting so I will also need to prepare for that tomorrow morning as well.

And idkkkk I’m just like thinking that it would be easier for me to have this date another time so I can do my chores today while I have momentum tonight and get a good nights sleep for the meeting tomorrow but also I’m busy for the next week like tomorrow I’m celebrating my friend’s birthday, Saturday I’m doing my taxes, Sunday I’m working, and then Monday-Wednesday im gonna probably work on doing the rest of my internal chores like laundry, cleaning my bathroom, washing my cat’s litter box, cleaning the apartment, groceries, etc. and then on Thursday I have the bad bunny concert but lowkey I wanna sell those tickets (idk if it’s gonna happen tho 😭 so I might have to go to the concert) and then next Friday I have the other bad bunny concert, next Saturday I’m celebrating my other friend’s birthday and next Sunday I work again. I guess I could probably reschedule for next week either Tuesday or Wednesday but idk I’m getting tired of this waiting game, I kind of just want to get it out of the way.

But honestly I’m just trying to fuck and maybe secure this man as a friend with benefits, and I wanted to meet up for dinner first just to like see the vibes and learn more about him but tbh based on this potential timeline I’m probably not gonna be able to have sex AND get home by midnight. So either have sex and probably get home late af (and spend hella money on an Uber) or just do a regular first date with no sex in order to be home on time but then I feel like that sets a precedent that makes it look like I’m looking for something more serious when I’m not. Lmfao and also IDEK what his living situation is like he told me he lives with his cousin but like do you have a separate room or..? And also he has a car, but idk i don’t wanna ask him to drive me home cuz it’s probably like 40 minutes at least and I don’t wanna give him any reason to come to my apartment cuz it’s too fucking messy 😭 ALSO PRAYING HE DOESNT EXPECT TO HOOK UP IN HIS CAR CUZ IM NOT DOING THAT I SWEAR LMFAO

Ugh I just got the ick so bad from this cute guy I’m talking to like we talked on the phone and then he texted me later that he missed my voice… and I’m like that just gave me the ick because like no you don’t 😭 idk he’s so cute but this guy wants to play house like his vibes were definitely that he’s looking for a girlfriend asap being all sensitive and sweet and idk if that’s just his angle cuz he also gave player vibes so much like he seems like a player. He’s too smooth. So idkkk

Lmfao also I’ve been on this dating app for 2 days and I already have 5 guys randomly try to guess my ethnicity hahah

And I have on my cornicello necklace on in my pic and I kinda thought everyone knew that was an Italian thing so I figured ppl would be asking me if I’m Italian but so far guys are guessing Peruvian and brazilian or like just “half latina” LOL and TWO guys replied to that pic with “spicy latina” pick up lines and I’m just laughing because my ex was always saying to me that I look totally white American and he couldn’t believe that people would guess that I’m latina lol like I know my ancestry is mostly European (my mom is Irish American and my dad’s side is argentinian) but like I take after my dad more and I think I look like Mediterranean mostly so I don’t think it’s weird that people would assume im a white latina

Getting back on the dating apps for the first time in years and my literal first match is a guy who turns out to be from the same exact little tiny home town as me is actually crazy and we live two hours away from that town now lol and idk I don’t remember him in high school at all but he was a senior when I was a freshman but LOL that conversation after we matched was wild

My ex summer fling just got engaged to my high school enemy I’m devastated

That feeling when you’re out at a bar and a guy hits on you but then like 15 minutes into chatting you see his friend is way hotter and you start to get a crush on his friend 😭😭😭

Dude I got sick from drinking again but really it was because I hit my weed pen like crazy after and I shouldn’t have done that because I always get sick when I get cross faded.. like I need to get a nic stick or something to fake myself out because I just like hitting the pen when I’m high but I also don’t wanna get addicted to the nicotine either lmfaooo idk I just gotta stop and the root of it all is binge drinking like I need to pace myself. I had two doubles before I went to the night club I think I was sufficiently tipsy I had fun and danced and then we got drinks at the bar and I probably shouldn’t have had any more but I had two little vodka cranberries and I was still totally fine but I should’ve just gone home by 1am like I promised myself but drunk me didn’t even check my phone once so I ended up staying out late and puked in a bathroom toilet with my friend holding my hair and I’m just embarrassed by that. But I got home safe and I was fine, I thought I lost my necklace for a second the next day but I didn’t lose it lol. Also I didn’t black out which is good. Things are a little hazy at the end of the night but I remember all the steps if that makes sense. Also like my bf was being nice to me the next day even tho I came home an hour late, but when I thought I lost my necklace (I very specifically remember coming home and taking off my jewelry and putting it in my jewelry box and I remember my pendant fell off my chain as I put it in, but I 100% remembered putting it in my jewelry box) because I opened my jewelry box and the necklace chain was on the top but the pendant was not, so I got worried but I knew it had to be in the house if my chain was there, but then my bf was like “wow you lose everything. Why would you wear your necklace if you knew you were drinking? You were so drunk I even took a video of you when you got home” and I was like “can I see the video? To see if I’m wearing the necklace in the video?” And he just goes “no” and I asked him why not like twice and then he said “okay I lied about having a video” and now he’s said that to me a couple times about getting a video of me drunk but never showed me so now I’m just curious if he’s ever taken any video of me drunk at all lmfao

Also my coworker texted me that night like “hey how were you feeling after I left?” And I only remember talking to him for a few minutes but I don’t remember when he left, but I thought he must’ve known about me puking in the bathroom lol so I was like oh I’m so dumb cuz I got crossfaded but I was fine, and then he sent me like a weirdly flirty text LOL and now I’m just confused cuz shouldn’t you be grossed out by knowing I was puking?? But idk maybe he doesn’t even know. I was dressed kinda slutty (non derogatory) that night because I had literally nothing to wear lmfao except for this red backless halter top so I looked hot, maybe that’s why he’s just randomly messaging me…?

Hmmm so every year I got my husband a cake for his birthday but for me in the past he didn’t get one and I don’t like cakes that much but I did say it would be nice to get a cake or some dessert this year and he asked what cake flavor I want and truthfully I said I want a chocolate tres leches cake but I know that’s hard to get without ordering ahead of time so maybe if you get me cupcakes instead I’ll be happy.

Well today he went and got me a huge mango and strawberry cake not cupcakes or chocolate tres leches but I guess it was vanilla tres leches mixed with mangos and strawberries and I felt really bad because it was not what I wanted but I wasn’t gonna say that and make him feel bad so I still ate a slice but it was a huge ass cake and he kept telling me to eat more and I was just like no thank u… and then he was like “I know you hate chocolate so I got this cake” and I’m like why does he think I hate chocolate…? And then he said bc I never eat the cake when he gets slices from the bakery or whatever but I just don’t like eating cake weekly lmfao and I don’t care for mousse cake like I like regular chocolate cake but whatever I don’t wanna make him feel bad but I’m just kind of disappointed because I told him I want a chocolate tres leches cake from Jackson heights or just some cupcakes but also ugh I feel so bad being ungrateful about my cake because come on he went out of his way to get me a cake and I know he’s right about the fact I usually don’t eat cake slices with him when he gets them at the bakery (and he only gets chocolate cake slices) so I understand why he thought I don’t like chocolate cake. But it’s not that I don’t like chocolate cake I just don’t like eating cake regularly and I usually take a bite I’m just not a fan of sweets like that

I feel like I have PTSD because I tore my meniscus Christmas shopping like two weeks ago and I fell and dislocated my kneecap and got bone bruises while it happened too and literally no one helped me in a store with like 30 people they just watched me fall and saw that I was unable to get up and also watched me put my kneecap back into place and said nothing like one person asked if I was okay and I said “no I just dislocated my knee” and then it was silent and I popped it back in and it made a really loud crack and some guy just went “EW I HEARD IT POP BACK IN!!!” And also I was literally speaking to a store employee when it happened and he just walked away!!!! And I was already so embarrassed when I fell and it was so much pain and adrenaline when I put my kneecap back into place I just limped out of the store in so much pain and then I sat on a random chair for like 20 minutes and the same person who asked if I was okay came up again and asked if I want Advil for my leg and I declined because I was just so embarrassed but holy fuck I was in so much pain and I was honestly so scared because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get home but I called an Uber and crawled outside and then crawled out to my apartment thankfully I live on the first floor so it was alrighr but my kneecap was so swollen I literally could not move my leg and I had no ice so I couldn’t even ice it and then I called my husband and told him I was really hurt and he came home but there was nothing we could do, and he was working a double the next day so he couldn’t help me get to a doctor either. And like I just cried so much telling him how no one even cared and only one person asked if I was okay and how I was really in so much pain and he just like did not know how to react and I don’t blame him cuz it was a lot but I really still felt so alone and thankfully the next morning I told my mom and she helped me get to the doctor and I stayed with her for Christmas which I was happy but also sad because I was supposed to spend it with my husbands family. And the doctor drained my knee because it had so much fluid it was 50 CC and also a lot of blood and it felt better when they drained it but it’s super swollen again and I’m still limping two weeks later and I’m just really upset and every time I think about it I just want to cry and like I can barely use stairs and I feel so trapped because my husband is like constantly forgetting that I have limited mobility like he keeps saying let’s go to midtown for dinner and I’m like “hey I can’t go up and down the stairs to the subway, because there’s no accessible subway with an elevator nearby” but it feels like all he hears is “No I don’t want to” and it just makes me sad and like I miss staying with my parents because they were so helpful and they understand how serious it is for me because it happened to me before 10 years ago like the same exact situation I dislocated my kneecap really bad at school and my stupid gym teacher refused to believe me so she made me crawl up 3 flights of stairs and told the nurse I was lying for attention so the nurse refused to help me, and I was literally being carried by my friends all day because I COULDNT WALK BECAUSE MY KNEE WAS SO SWOLLEN AND HAD DISLOCATED and then I was on crutches for weeks and had to do two rounds of physical therapy and it’s like that traumatized me too because ever since I’ve always been super hesitant to get medical help for anything because I’m scared that someone is again just gonna accuse me of lying for attention for no reason and it’s just embarrassing!!!

And I’m in so much pain but I also hate bringing attention to it like my knee got filled with fluid again it’s super swollen and big and I probably need to get it drained again but I’m just too hesitant because I feel like everyone is gonna tell me I’m lying about how much pain I’m in even though I’m literally downplaying it so much and it’s like every time I look down at my knee I just cry because it’s so painful and ugly and I missed THREE WEEKS OF PAY AT MY SERVER JOB because I can’t walk and I’m so sad lmfao I need to go to therapy and now I’m scared to go to PT because I feel like I’m gonna break down telling them what happened

Laughing because the girl in middle school who bullied me for “being lesbian” is now in fact a lesbian.

Dude I got wasted Friday night and I don’t remember most of the night and I don’t wanna say I got roofied but when I was tipsy I was really dumb and left my drink unattended while I went to the bathroom and I was sitting at a table when people I don’t know. and I don’t remember drinking a lot but I started to black out afterwards. I think I had like 5 drinks over a 4? Hour period but I don’t remember much and idk I got home safe but I think I did some crazy shit but I really don’t remember and this was at the bar I work at but I wasn’t working. I’m just embarrassed like I don’t remember shit but I think I was being stupid. I’ve been pretty good about not getting too wasted where I black out so I’m kind of surprised like I think the last time I did that was probably like august? Idk but I think this was pretty bad. So now I’m gonna be actually counting my drinks. The hats my problem, I didn’t count my drinks. I drank two margaritas at dinner and then I had a tequila pineapple at the bar and then two vodka seltzers… or maybe 3. I don’t entirely remember. But my coworker kept giving me more like I probably should’ve just said no I don’t want another but I wasn’t really paying attention. And I wasn’t drinking water after dinner, I should’ve drank a glass of water in between each drink. So I’m gonna do that going forward

But I actually got an app to track how much I drink, and I think that’s gonna help me. Cuz when I count how much, I’m better at not crossing my limits. And also it will make me feel better if I keep track of how many times I’ve blacked out lmfao cuz I feel like that only happens like 3 times a year … well last year I was really bad but this year, especially ever since I moved to my new apartment there was one time where I drank pretty heavy but I was totally in control (not stumbling or acting crazy) and I didn’t black out. So this was the first time I blacked out. But never again. I hate blacking out so much. And puking. So I gotta stop that. So I’m definitely gonna do this drink tracking thing, because if I count it and track it then that will help me. Because sometimes I just keep drinking like forgetting that’s there’s alcohol.

Ugh whatever also I just like smoking weed over drinking but it makes me lowkey antisocial and a homebody so I end up drinking to be more social but I don’t need to do that

Well honestly so last night I noticed that the girl was still following him so he just unfollowed her he didn’t even block her and to me that’s really fucked up because why would u say that you blocked her if you didn’t??? And I was honestly confused cuz I could’ve sworn I saw him block her, but I guess he just blocked her private IG but that means nothing cuz like she didn’t follow him back on that acc and they were talking on her regular IG not the private one at all so like wtf?? Yesterday he was saying he’d promise he’d do better and make it up to me but bruh you can’t even do the one thing I asked. So today I was just ignoring him cuz idek like I kinda want to end the relationship but it’s hard since we’re married and live together like I guess that’s the only reason we half made up because if I wasn’t living with him I would’ve just not seen him and not said anything and moved on with my life but I made a mistake letting him convince me.

Well today I was ignoring him and he was like what’s wrong and I kept saying nothing but he asked me many times so then I finally said I know that you didn’t block her and he was like “why do you always go through all my social media, how did you even know?” And I was like “easy cuz I clicked on her profile and I was trying to see if it was true that she knows ur sister so I went to her following list and the first profile listed WAS YOU!” And he was surprisingly calm, I thought he was gonna say he’s done with me and I was just gonna let him but he didn’t he was just like okay I’ll block her if you want, and he kept saying he blocked the other profile before, he just didn’t block the regular profile but I still feel like it’s fucked up because I specifically asked him to block the main profile