my biggest insecurity is that I can’t cartwheel. what do I do when I’m filled with joy? I just fucking stand there? It haunts me everyday

KISSINGER ???

obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks

she’s reinventing hieroglyphics

She’s the only person who truly understands how emojis were meant to be used.

okay now that i’ve calmed down what am i going to buy myself as a treat for enduring this suffering

reading an article about the legal and political battle between desantis and disney (tldr desantis is trying to strip disney of their status as an independent psuedo-county in retaliation for them publicly condemning his homophobia bill) and absolutely nothing could have prepared me for this series of paragraphs

This was on a post discussing shit parents doing a new satanic panic. Valid points all around but. But I’m crying. This is the funniest lie ever, no parody I could come up with this will be this funny. Nonbinary Julius Cesar

It's him, Julius xi/xir

Wii sports last resort

i fell in the ohio river once and that's why i still haven't had covid

girls i think my ankle just lost its sense of smell i'm scared

Starting a compilation

i don’t have any red flags. i have a white flag. i give up

they hate me because i'm silly and so intense at the same time

I’m sorry but this is the funniest Reddit post I’ve seen in a while

Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan