Not internet denizen GhoulieGolightly

babygirl you won't believe the amount of popular things i don't know

holy shit is this gorgeous.

YO WHAT KIND OF TREE IS THAT

the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

The point of art is to let other people know that the thing wrong with them is also wrong with you

This is in fact how you make friends

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

if a woman is over 35 and you think she’s hot you can just say that you don’t have to call her a milf

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

I got blood inside my phone charging port and now it only works 50% of the time

get yellow bile in there next to balance the humors of the phone

you. I like the way you think. put on this little outfit I want to make you my royal advisor.

can i tell from the little outfit if I am going to be the royal advisor (jocular) or the royal advisor (sinister)?

it depends on the size of the boob window. we’ll get there when we get there.

and when the clock struck midnight, we looked at our adorable kitty paws to see that they had returned to hands :(

when we're done booping i think tumblr should bring back porn

I miss the boops. I don’t think they should be a forever thing but like maybe a week? 🥺

*boops you again*

I'm scared

IM NOT READYYYYYY

"what have you been doing on your phone for the past two fucking hours" hitting people leave me alone

i say this every year but tumblr didn’t start doing april fools’ gimmicks until 2014. one year previous, April 1st, 2013, was a certain Incident that i am CONVINCED caused @staff to think “we have to make an april fools’ theme ourselves, because if left to their own devices, they’ll do… That”