Beyonce,beytwice

Interacting with people on tumblr when you’re not a teenager anymore like

THIS SHOW IS COMEDY GOLD AND IF YOU DON’T THINK SO YOU NEED TO REEVALUATE YOUR LIFE

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

Oh man….. Wow just wow

Wow

“How not to tell a girl that you love her” an autobiography by the Darcys.

#adorable dorks (insp.)

mark darcy + text posts (for @finnicksghost)

Internet content i signed up to see

The other kind of porn I like

Yooo 👅

Yeeeesssssssss🤤🤤

the full series : )

Beyoncé: *purchases new laptop and uses it for the first time*

The FBI Agent that’s assigned to her:

all I want for Christmas is beautiful skin

also that your lunch tastes good, you find twenty dollars on the ground, and that thing coming up that you were dreading turns out not so bad

Passing this good karma

I reblogged this 3 days ago and my skin got clear and I got a message from a guy who refers to me as queen yesterday. Good karma vibes all around.

ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AS F NOW

Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.

Y’all get together to discuss your options and she starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you guys spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you’re sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again. 

Long story short you fall in love and get married and do the sperm donor thing AND YOUR FIRSTBORN IS HERS BY DEFAULT and you live happily ever after. The end.

Baby cries in the middle of the night

Witch: Ughhhhh. It’s your turn.

You: You bought it. You handle it.

That is what I call a fairy tale ending.