you come back here and say this to the entire class
non glasses wearers dont understand the reality that my glasses could have a two inch film of dirt and smudges and stains on them and i still wouldnt notice
its always "wow your glasses are so dirty how do you see" and never "do you want to come watch the rainbow with me? the rainbow is on. in the sky"
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i went nonverbal, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
Accidentally beach episoded!
call me OSHA the way i’m demanding a railing
once again i have been written up by HR
I went to the library to borrow some DVDs we're planning to watch, but when I handed the librarian my card, it took me a solid 15 seconds to register that I handed her my fucking weed card.
Me, fumbling to swap it out: "OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY, I was on total autopilot!!"
The librarian: "It's all good, I just assumed it was a flex."
#did the exact opposite of this the other day when I handed the cashier at a book store my library card instead of my credit card#and we both just stared at in confusion for a solid 15 seconds before I went oh fuck I can’t use that here#and she said ‘oh I’m glad that was unintentional bc I thought I was gonna have to explain some hard truths about bookstores to you’ fhshsgag via @formereldestdaughter
we are the same, u and i.
Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.
In the "my illness won't condemn me to an early, ignominious death" kind of way.
you know what!! i really believe in the healing power of.............. dancing to ur favorite songs in your bedroom
Creative way of saving camels from getting run over
my favourite things about this video:
1) the amount of time that went into considering this approach, which is a resounding 0.00 seconds
2) the baby's screm - yes it's sad bc the poor lil guy is scared but the way his yells for momma hitch with the guy's running have me lmao ngl
3) the guy either had the incredible good fortune or the foresight to put the baby between himself and momma so he could make a break for it. it was too quick. Too deliberate and almost instinctive. He has done this before.
4) the victory skips and turban twirling.
10/10 but please for the love of god there has to be a better way camels kick people to death
i feel like we're ignoring an important scientific fact, which is that this guy grabbed, at the minimum, 35 kilograms of terrified baby camel and did a fucking 6-second olympic sprint while being chased by, wikipedia informs me, 300-540 kilograms of angry adult camel.
the human body is capable of amazing things when it notices that it just picked up something that half a ton worth of pissed off camel would very much like to have back
Camels not only kick but have teeth and jaw strength capable of ripping a man's arm off, which, yes has happened before.
I should also point out that unlike most herbivores, camel teeth look like this
thinking about this again
when i started my last director job at a university, they told me one of my duties would be to write all the chancellor’s letters. me: “cool. but why though?” them: “English isn’t the chancellor’s first language.” me: “I’m aware of that.” them: “the chancellor likes the suggestions that autocorrect gives him if he misspells something.” me: “Ah.” them: hands me a copy of a letter the chancellor sent to a donor who had just given a million-dollar gift to the university, which includes the following: ‘The profundity of your gift fills us with the greatest horror. In recognition we have prepared a special plague to compromise you and your family’.
Which is why to this day when I’m struggling to communicate in a different language, i remember the chancellor, who was Doing His Best, and i try to give myself a break.
Chuck Jones is the best counterexample to “the curtains are just blue” because you would not believe the amount of thought and art theory he put into his silly little cartoons
I need to dig out my Chuck Jones books but one time he was talking about the Wile E Coyote gag where he runs off a cliff and continues running for a little bit before noticing there’s no ground underneath him and then turns to the camera and holds up a sign saying “Help!” before plummeting and Jones said the reason Coyote does that instead of immediately trying to get back to the cliff edge is bc Coyote embodies anxiety and in that particular moment represents the fear and worry about the judgement of others over and above the desire for self-preservation.
Like, if someone was told that interpretation without knowing any better they’d think it came from some pretentious academic or whatever but nope! It’s literally the creator like those are the thoughts he had in his head when he was creating the cartoons
the Nine Rules of the Roadrunner cartoons always sticks with me. Rule 3 especially
not arguing with someone with brown eyes so dark they’re black. whatever you say beautiful.
this is funnier the earlier in march you reblog it it
✨ it’s march ✨
😔 it’s march 😔
Baby it’s March🤡
Ch👍
🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
40.4004260, -79.8731200
Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes
The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is
you can see the increasing age of tumblr users, these posts are like tree rings.