welcome to my twisted mind

we have bananis…. and arvocadis…..

what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin

that’s pussy babe!

me: *is overwhelmed by things i absolutely have the time to do*

Haku, listen. I just remembered something from a long time ago, I think it may help you. Once, when I was little, I dropped my shoe into a river. When I tried to get it back I fell in. I thought I’d drown but the water carried me to shore. It finally came back to me. The river’s name was the Kohaku river. I think that was you

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

By the way, just in case this helps someone -

COOKING - creativity is okay

BAKING - stick to the recipe (you can usually adjust sugar content to taste, though)

BREAD - wait for the right weather conditions (or engineer them), be one assertive and self-confident motherfucker because dough can feel it if you aren’t, a blood sacrifice probably helps, trust the gods 

PASTRY - your God is dead, the god of gluten and madness is risen, abandon all hope ye who enter here

well that’s fairly accurate

hey guys so apparently the boss baby was based off a book

Yeah.

Don’t Like That

But wait, there’s more!

Watch the transitions from book to Dreamworks movie.

I’m going back to bed

when someone sends you something so Your Type that it hurts

Why is this so funny to me?! That mirror’s arc is just hilarious

everything *turns out bad* me:

why is this actually one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen .

this 7 second video has no business being this funny

she thought she killed they asses💀💀😭

This some straight up charlie chaplin stunting