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100 Funniest ANTM Moments

@antmfunny / antmfunny.tumblr.com

A site dedicated to looking at the funnier side of America's Next Top Model, cycles past and present.
I appreciate all links and reblogs to spread the hilarity of ANTM!
Check out my personal blog at Kevin Babbles
Archive of the 150 funniest photos Archive of the 150 funniest quotes Archive of the 68 Funniest Moments from Cycle 20 Archive of the 75 Funniest Moments from Cycle 21 Archive of the 72 Funniest Moments from Cycle 22 A conversation with Cycle 21's Adam Smith Part 1 & Part 2 A conversation with Cycle 4's Tiffany Part 1 & Part 2
Archive of the 100 funniest moments ever: 1. Bitch Pours Beer on Tiffany's Weave 2. Kathleen the Anti-Fur Activist 3. Michelle's Flesh-Eating Bacteria 4. Shandi the Cheater 5. Jade the Actress 6. Adrianne Proves Herself a Lady 7. Norelle Goes to Japan 8. Tyra Yells at Tiffany 9. Andre Leon Talley's Salon 10. Sarah Flashes Teenagers 11. Kelle Hates Her Snout 12. Allison the Bloody Entertaining Girl 13. Grandma Wanda Sue 14. The Impala Girl 15. Yaya Apologizes to the Hat 16. Dionne's Family Reunion 17. AJ Wears a Raggedy Hat 18. Cassandra's Haircut 19. Camille's Signature Walk 20. Mail Order Natasha 21. Ann Attempts to Roller Skate 22. Janice Has a Stye in Her Eye 23. Anya Eats It 24. Tyra's Hungry Eyes 25. The Stick up Nigel's Ass 26. Jaclyn Overcomes Her Baby Face 27. Dionne Kissed a Girl & She Liked It 28. Gina & the Cockroach 29. Lisa Pees Herself 30. Alexandra vs. the Pendulum 31. Eva & the Spider 32. Dominique Is a Man 33. Catie the Crier 34. Saleisha & Chantal Hook Up 35. Renee Makes Jael a Straight Jacket 36. Melrose Boxes Joyfully 37. Molly's Weave 38. Claire's Breast Milk 39. Erin Starts a Race Riot 40. Sandra Wishes She Made Friends 41. Ann's Codependence 42. The Girls Pose Awfully 43. Wholahay 44. Michelle Comes Out 45. Elyse's Rant 46. Jessica Starts a Fire 47. Everything Jade Says 48. Nicole's Bloody Eyeball 49. The Mystery of the Missing Crystals 50. "Actually" Interview 51. Bianca vs. the Glass Door 52. Brittany Melts Down 53. Birds Attack 54. Furonda's Rules 55. The Jesus Freaks 56. Awkard Lauren 57. Rolling Down the Runway 58. Sheena the Hooch 59. ESL Beauty Tips with Mr. Jay 60. The Jehovah's Witness 61. Michelle Maybe Comes Out 62. Mila Keeps It Positive 63. Angelea Is a Freak 64. Elyse Fakes It Well 65. Natasha the Eternal Optimist 66. Jade Frightens Twiggy 67. Allison Is Ugly 68. Laura's Dyslexia 69. The Conveyer Belt Runway 70. Tiffany Vomits 71. Mr. Jay Promotes Self Love 72. Kim and Sarah's Lesbian Love Affair 73. Dani the Bigot 74. Shannon's Date 75. Whitney vs. Dominique 76. The Girls Go to Walmart, Yo 77. Tyra's Lounge Act 78. Yoanna the Thief 79. Driving Miss Sundai 80. The Girls Prepare to Die 81. Alexandria's Stalker 82. Celia Tattles on Tahlia 83. Danielle the Mermaid 84. Granola Gate 85. Natasha Becomes Boris 86. Being European Is a Disability 87. The Girls See a Streaker 88. Robin's Religion 89. Jade Gets Fluffed Down 90. Spontaniouse Auditions 91. Pat Cleveland Is Certifiable 92. Keenyah Gets Fat 93. Monique Spreads Her Juices 94. Stacy Ann's Strip Tease 95. Impossibly High Heels 96. Nikeysha Can't Shut Up 97. The Girls Throw an Awkward Party 98. The Bemused Fashion Muses 99. Tiffany Mentors Lady Kat 100. Jade's Departure var sc_project=7233412; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="00dab651";
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antmfunny

2. Tyra Dumps a Gay Hero, Holla Holla Holla

Of all the cruel jokes this show has played this season, unceremoniously booting Cory before his first big fashion show is probably the worst. I mean, the dude is all dressed up and ready to go and then theyā€™re like, ā€œJust kidding, Cory, youā€™re eliminated. But weā€™re still going to need you to walk in the show because somebodyā€™s got to pretend to beat up Jourdan.ā€

As Laura James gives a disappointed Cory pointless encouragement to walk fiercely anyway, Cory sighs, ā€œI just wish that I had my time to process this alone.ā€ No kidding, this shit is fucking rude.

Tyra pretends that this is standard business in the modeling industry by telling Cory about a time she was cancelled from walking in a Versace show even after she had her hair did. The big difference Tyra seems to be missing is that after they fired her, they didnā€™t expect her to still do the job.Ā 

Can you imagine being fired from your job moments before giving a big presentation to the shareholders and then having your boss be like, ā€œI still need you to give this presentation, though!ā€? Coryā€™s Catwalk Crew should have gone on strike. Mid-show, Cory should have jumped off the runway and taken a big poop on Rob Evans to thank him for all of his support.Ā 

After Cory swears and cries, Tyra Banks honors him with some nonsense spoken word poetry:

LGBT.

Holla, holla, holla.

Hero.Ā 

Way to drop some meaningless buzzwords. If Tyra really wanted to convey that Cory was an inspiration worthy of respect, she wouldnā€™t have eliminated him like that. Or stolen all his hair. Or spent half of the cycle criticizing his identity. Or made him portray an abusive asshole for the audience to boo when he already felt like shit. Still, Iā€™m sure that that insincere epitaph meant a lot to Cory. Holla holla holla!Ā 

Funniest Moments from ANTM Cycle 20 episode 15

I just said goodbye to a friend with these poignant words and he has never been more confused.

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2. The Anti-Fur Activist (Cycle 8 ep. 2)

Generally, itā€™s hard to muster up much interest in each cycleā€™s first boot as we barely get a chance to know them, with one notable exception: Cycle 8ā€™s Kathleen. It is with great sorrow that we lose Kathleen so soon because the girl is pure entertainment. Unfortunately, Kathleenā€™s downfall comes because, as extremely likable as she is, she is equally as dumb. And yes, I mean that as both a compliment to her personality and a swipe at her intelligence.Ā  Ā 

The first photo shoot requires each model to represent a political stance. When Mr. Jay tells Kathleen sheā€™s anti-fur, she giggles nervously, and we soon find out why: she doesnā€™t understand what that means. In wardrobe, Kathleen asks whether she should look at the fur and go, ā€œOooo, I hate fur.ā€ She also canā€™t connect with the stance: ā€œActually, I really do like fur, it makes you look hot.ā€ Given the fur ball growing out of her head, I suppose thatā€™s no surprise.Ā 

Once on set, Kathleenā€™s posing does nothing to suggest sheā€™s an activist. Nigelā€™s instructions to make her look more passionate are met with a ā€œWhat does that mean?ā€ and a continued blank glare. Perhaps her deer in headlights facial expressions are meant to portray the helpless animal, but giving Kathleen credit for having a thought, let alone a creative one, is being too generous.Ā 

At judging panel, Tyra asks for Kathleenā€™s take on wearing fur. Prepare your brain for some articulate opinions:

  • ā€œI believe that if the animal is alive, you shouldnā€™t kill it to make a fur coat or anything. But if itā€™s already dead, you could take the skin off and just make a coat.ā€
  • ā€œHow would it already be dead?ā€ asks Tyra.
  • ā€œCuz animals fight each other in the jungle, right? In the woodsā€¦ Animals die, like people die naturally sometimes, right?ā€ Ā 

Twiggy explains that, unfortunately, thatā€™s not how the fur industry works, but perhaps Kathleen has stumbled onto something. In her stupidity, she might have invented a socially conscious line of furs. ā€œMy shawl is made from a mink that died of natural causes. And this coat is the product of several foxes who were killed in an epic jungle battle.ā€

Nigel tells Kathleen that she ā€œdidnā€™t completely understand the concept,ā€ even though suggesting that she understands it even a little bit is pretty kind. Does Kathleen defend herself? Nope, her response is as honest as can be: ā€œI know, right? I didnā€™t.ā€ Sheā€™s not just pleading ignorance, sheā€™s pleading utter stupidity. Tyra tells Kathleen that she needs to ask when she doesnā€™t understand something, and this time Kathleen not only fails to defend herself, she practically prosecutes herself, saying, ā€œI feel like he explained it to me so much, [Mr. Jay] and Nigel, and Iā€™m like, I donā€™t want to seem slow like I wasnā€™t catching on.ā€ Miss J canā€™t help but respond with a, ā€œWellllllllā€¦ā€ that is pure comedy.

During deliberation, Twiggy says, ā€œI do worry about Kathleen. You kind of want to take Kathleen home and look after her.ā€ ā€œI donā€™t!ā€ responds Miss J. Heā€™s having a lot of fun at Kathleenā€™s expense, and itā€™s hard to blame him.

In the end, all of the judges decide that they donā€™t have the patience to nurture an idiot like Kathleen, sending her home first. Alas, even the most drastic makeover wouldnā€™t help them discover a functioning brain under all of that hair. While previous seasons have proven that you donā€™t have to be a genius to become a Top Model, apparently there is a minimal intelligence requirement as well.

I've been thinking about Kathleen today.

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I should actually write something meaningful like the old days but first I just wanna ask: whoā€™s still out there in Tumblr land?Ā 

I keep seeing Tyra go viral/get dragged for old ANTM shenanigans on Twitter, and then people inevitably defending her saying you canā€™t hold her to todayā€™s standards for stuff she did 15 years ago.Ā 

But Iā€™m sure as most people in this ANTMFunny community can agree: WE DONE KNEW. Weā€™ve been calling out how problematic that show was for ages.Ā 

And donā€™t get me wrong, I also enjoyed it. It was hella entertaining for all its faults, and for me anyway, part of the enjoyment was analyzing just how backward it was to dangle a modeling contract in front of well-intentioned (and in some cases desperate) contestants when the real point was to humiliate most of them. Still, I could take some self-inventory about to what extent I meaningfully critiqued the show and what extent I fueled the fandom.Ā 

Oh well, I guess not everything is black and white... except maybe literally in the cases when Tyra had models wear blackface to portray someone of a different ethnicity.Ā 

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kevinbabbles

Itā€™s been a year! Hereā€™s what I most liked listening to.Ā 

(secret download link)

  1. Chinese Satellite - Phoebe Bridgers
  2. Happy Home - X Ambassadors
  3. On Mine - Diplo & Noah Cyrus
  4. Maker - Anjimile
  5. Crazy - Bazzi
  6. Lilacs - Waxahatchee
  7. Dinner Plate - Terror Jr
  8. I Still Do - Kiiara
  9. Mountains (we met) - Christine and the Queens
  10. i see america - Joy Oladokun
  11. anthems - Charli XCX
  12. Boomer - Bartees Strange
  13. My Own Soulā€™s Warning - The Killers
  14. Coming Alive - Ivan & Alyosha
  15. Nothing at All - Perfume Genius
  16. Spotlight - Jessie Ware
  17. All That - Emotional Oranges & Channel Tres
  18. Sleep at Night - The Chicks
  19. The Key to Life on Earth - Declan McKenna
  20. Weā€™ll Be Alright - Grace Potter
  21. Changes - Ruston Kelly
  22. Love Not Loving You - Foxes
  23. Horizons Into Battlegrounds - Woodkid
  24. Honey - Kesha
  25. Hard to Forget - Sam Hunt
  26. Leaning on You - Haim
  27. Plastic Hearts - Miley Cyrus
  28. Cosmonauts - Fiona Apple
  29. Harder Than My Demons - Big Sean
  30. Die Midwestern - Arlo McKinley
  31. 4ƆM - Grimes
  32. Boys Will Be Boys - Dua Lipa
  33. Scared to Live - The Weeknd
  34. Drugs & The Internet - Lauv
  35. Bammer - Wiz Khalifa
  36. Cloud Nein - Man Man
  37. All in My Head - Whethan & grandson
  38. Experience - Victoria MonƩt & Khalid & SG Lewis
  39. Scram! - Jeff Rosenstock
  40. sadder badder cooler - Tove Lo
  41. Chicken Tenders - Dominic Fike
  42. Ungodly Hour - Chloe x Halle
  43. My Last Breath - James Newman
  44. Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus - The Strokes
  45. Lost in Translation - The Neighbourhood
  46. Another Spring - Paris Jackson
  47. Dime CĆ³mo Quieres - Christian Nodal & Ɓngela Aguilar
  48. Is It True - Tame Impala
  49. Ball Hard - Lil Wayne & Lil Twist
  50. Try Jesus - Tobe Nwigwe & Jabari Johnson
  51. The Otherside - Cam
  52. Slow - Matt Costa
  53. Hallelujah - Oh Wonder
  54. Still Feel Like a Kid - Dawes
  55. Only a Day - Ben Kweller
  56. Put a Little Love on Me - Niall Horan
  57. 3am - Halsey
  58. Boys and Girls - Jaden
  59. Thriving - Diet Cig
  60. Juro Que - ROSALƍA
  61. Funny Thing - Thundercat
  62. my exā€™s best friend - Machine Gun Kelly & blackbear
  63. Wildlife - Sarah Harmer
  64. Mother Please Donā€™t Be Sad - The Flaming Lips
  65. Dora - Tierra Whack
  66. montgomery forever - The Front Bottoms
  67. came to my show - 100 gecs
  68. Phase - Pinegrove
  69. Easy - The Naked and Famous
  70. Godzilla - Eminem & Juice WRLD
  71. exile - Taylor Swift & Bon Iver
  72. Only Time Makes It Human - King Princess
  73. About Love - MARINA
  74. Broken - Empress Of
  75. Almost Maybes - Jordan Davis
Source: Spotify
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Hi! Itā€™s that time of year where I encourage you to tune into Eurovision on Saturday because it is the worldā€™s funniest spectacle. I made this video and hundreds of thousands of Europeans have watched it because they get it. (Or they donā€™t and leave me angry comments, but I can take it.)Ā 

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