Egg Corns

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

one time I played the word “am” and I thought, they can totally let that slide because of AM radio and A.M time.

then i remembered 

Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.

I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.

My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”

standing ovulation from the crowd for that performance

Happy Ides of March! (March 15) HAIRSPRAY (2007)

ANIMAL CONTROL (2023- )

I don’t know you personally but I feel the need to inform you that you’re the one who’s wrong here and that “deep-seated” is literally the proper spelling according to Merriam-Webster, Cambridge Dictionary, and Washington State University professor Paul Brians (author of the book Common Errors in English Usage) . I don’t care abt language errors either but I have this deep seated desire to bother ppl.. you know how it is

Of course I can't find it now, but I remember Mike Birbiglia having a joke about being described as a "nimble-minded comedian" in a review, being unsure what "nimble" meant, and having to recall the "jack be nimble" nursery rhyme. He concluded that it must mean fast, because you wouldn't say "jack be slow, jack be quick."

#it's also EXTREMELY POSSIBLE that this was a different comedian altogether

Thank you past me, it was so possible that it was true, it was Ray Romano not Mike Birbiglia. From Ray's 1998 book "Everything and a Kite"

Jack Be Nibble….

jazz is so good. have you guysheard of this shit theres tumpet

wait until you hear the sacks of phones

in the year 2024 my wish is the same as in all other years: that everyone will finally learn the difference between the words "slack" and "flack"

someone who is on your back is "giving you flack," not "giving you slack." however, in that position you would be justified to say "cut me some slack." i know the english language is stupid but this one bugs me