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thestarswontstopdancing reblogged

thecommonchick

I firmly believe that unless the couple has discussed and agreed to marriage ahead of time, nobody has any business making a surprise public proposal.

Okay except some people want a surprise public proposal.

Girl my husband took me to Spain and gave me a kinder egg on the beach, the ring was inside the capsule (Lord knows how he did that) if any feminist tried to take that away from me I may cut a bitch. Best surprise of my life.

I wish people were capable of analyzing larger social trends and figuring that a significant number of women end up getting pressured into engagements or marriages they don’t want bc the audience that comes along with a public proposal will think she’s a bitch if she says no - instead of thinking “i liked it when it happened to me, therefore it could never turn out badly for anyone, not ever!!!!”

rifa

I think what people are misunderstanding here is that agreeing to marriage ahead of time doesn’t need to be like, asking permission to propose? I surprised my now spouse with a proposal in Disneyland but before that we had several conversations about the future of our relationship, future plans for our retirements and how we’d have to get married eventually for immigration purposes. I didn’t go to her and say “so would you say yeah if I proposed?” or hash out deets ahead of time, but we had enough of a mutual understanding and communicated desire to get married that, although it was a surprise for when and how I proposed, it wasn’t out of left field at all.

This is exactly like conversations about consent, people get up in arms thinking that it means you have to have contracts and serious sit down conversations before doing anything when its REALLY EASY to simply COMMUNICATE with your partner so things like this are done properly, yeesh

a-smile-in-hell

I’ve already told my boyfriend if he tried pulling any kind of surprise, especially public for that matter, proposal I’d probably say no on instinct and walk off. Surprises are nice, but marriage proposals can be a huge make or break moment for any relationships (honestly how many relationships last after a rejection to getting engaged?) And some people, like myself, wouldn’t like a bunch of strangers being in on that kind of moment. And some people would and have used large crowds to almost manipulate a yes out if someone, not even giving them time to really think about it until it’s over.

Look if you like surprises, and you want to be the center of attention like that, you do you I’m not gonna judge. But you should at least talk to your parter about marriage before hand and let them know that something like ‘will you marry me’ on a jumbotron during the playoffs is NOT how you want it to go down.