Abusers don’t come with warning labels.  Abusers don’t hit you on the first date. They don’t write “I will humiliate and belittle you” on their Tinder profiles. They don’t wear “I break things to intimidate my partner” t-shirts. People don’t get trapped in damaging relationships because they saw an abuser coming from 20 yards away and decided “I’m going to date that person anyway”. That’s not how any of this works.  In the beginning, abusers can be some of the most thoughtful, attentive people you’ll ever meet. They’re obsessed with you; that’s what makes them so toxic and deadly as time goes on. Abusers buy you flowers. They remember your birthday. They remember to text you “good morning” and “good night”. They listen to your problems, confide in you and share silly inside jokes. They can keep that “loving, doting partner and best friend” mask in place for months or years if they have to.  So the first time they scream at you or hit you, you don’t see an abuser. You see your best friend, your confidante, the person who brought you soup when you were sick and always laughs at your stories about your nutty coworker. You tell yourself they just had a bad day. Maybe they were tired, sick, hungry, or under a lot of stress. You know them. You’ve made a life with them. And they’re so sorry and so ashamed of what they did. This isn’t who they are.  And so things go back to back to normal for a while. Wonderful, even. This is still one of the best relationships you’ve ever been in, even counting that one incident. You go back to date nights, cozy nights in and 5-hour-long conversations that feel effortless. And then it happens again.  And you still don’t see an abuser. You see the person who means the most to you in the whole world. You decide that maybe they’re just struggling. Maybe they have mental health issues. They’ve told you every horrible thing that’s ever happened to them as a child, and maybe it has something to do with that. But either way, they’re not an abuser. Not yet. They’re just a person who needs you more than ever.  Then things are good for a while. Then something bad happens. Then it’s good again. Then it’s bad. Good. Bad. Good. Bad. And every time it happens, it gets a little harder to get out. The time you’ve invested in the relationship goes up, and your self-esteem goes down. By the time you realize that, yes, the person you thought you knew is an Abuser with a capital A, you’re in deep. You’re a frog that stood in a pot of water so long it turned you into soup before you even noticed it was getting a little warm. But you didn’t ask for this. And you certainly didn’t know it was coming.  We have this image in our heads of what abusers must look like. We picture brawny men with low foreheads and stained white tank tops, screaming at their wives while they drink beer in front of the TV. We think they’re like wildlife, as if we could spot them with the help of a guidebook and know to stay far away from them. But they’re not. Abusers can be anyone. They can be female. They can be accomplished. They can be well-groomed. Queer. Politically far-left. Politically far-right. Artists. Athletic. Charitable. Intelligent. They can come from any walk of life, any spot on the gender spectrum, any religion, any background. It’s not the abused person’s fault for not spotting them - they can’t always be spotted. It’s the abuser’s fault for abusing. 

God my mum needs to read this shit so bad

I needed this in my life when I was younger

Photo of Europeans going after the USA for being racist and exploiting poor countries

j*y z’s dinosaur ass: this is my album where i talk abt all the many ways i fucked over my beautiful wife that i dont deserve pls listen to even one song

me:

Blue Ivy: *freestyles*

me: 

Trump’s Muslim Ban Realized

Today on 1/27/17 Trump closed America’s doors to refugees, indefinitely, banned immigrants from several countries, suspended the Visa program, and effectively left untold numbers of people stranded–including those with Green Cards and especially those with no where else to turn who had already been approved to come here.

It is not a ban purely on Muslims, just on specific (majority Muslim) countries, so there’s a chance it could hold up in court.

He signed this executive order on Holocaust Remembrance Day. Even if he didn’t understand the significance of that, I have no doubt Bannon and the other nazis on his staff did. 

This is monstrous.

The most “says it all” illustration I’ve seen all year.

P

Reblog the hell out of it, then. Notes for daaaaaaays.

again, because censorship sucks.

Save it to ur phones and get it printed and spread it around town 👌

@marissarei

ENOUGH

a sign they’re doing everything right.

That’s so beautiful

North Carolina  high school crowns transgender woman Selena Milian homecoming queen

All hail the queen. On Oct. 24, 18-year-old Selena Milian snatched the crown and became the homecoming queen at Overhills High School in Spring Lake, North Carolina.She’s the first transgender homecoming queen to be crowned statewide. Milian still deals with transphobia, she said, specifically at work.

Everyone on the internet tomorrow

the paper on the clock

I don’t know how to set my alarm clock…

The First Day of NaNoWriMo

We’re just a few hours away from NaNoWriMo, so I wanted to share some encouragement before you get started.

First of all, stay calm. It’s the first day, so try to be enthusiastic about it! This should be fun!

Here’s what to expect/how to approach your first day of NaNoWriMo:

Don’t Put Too Much Pressure on Yourself

You might want to hit all your word counts right away, but give yourself time to figure it all out. Getting the first chapter down is difficult and it might take time to find your groove. I usually struggle with the first words, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Write What You Can

November 1st is a Tuesday, so a lot of us have stuff to do. We might be busy with class or work, so it’s important to figure out what time works for you. If you can’t write a lot November 1st, that’s fine. If you’re loaded up with homework, that’s fine too. NaNoWriMo is all about time management, so if most of your writing time will get done on the weekends don’t stress about days with low word counts.

Adjust Your Target Goals

The 1st week will help you figure out if your goals are unrealistic. If you tried your best, but didn’t even hit half of your target word count, readjust your goals! Figure out something that makes more sense for your schedule/your writing pace. If you work better at night, try to make room before bed. This is the best time to figure out your most productive writing style!

Reward Yourself

Take care of yourself and treat yourself well during NaNoWriMo! Reward yourself. Get a good meal, watch one of your favorite movies, etc. Treating yourself well will only improve your writing and make this month fun! Punishing yourself or cutting yourself off from the outside world until you hit impossible goals will only make your miserable.

-Kris Noel

joker x harley headcanons <333333

Harley takes a baseball bat to the Joker’s head, killing him instantly

The best fucking thing I’ve ever seen

Gordon Ramsey has settled the candy corn debate once and for all.

edit re-do: pride and prejudice (2005)               ⤷ wide shots