you've had teaspoons, tablespoons, and teacups, now try:

Tablecup

while yall are gettin high off the devils lettuce at the house party im gettin high off of validation from holdin the bathroom door open for everybody for three hours

i love how tinder does ads acting like imma swipe right on capitalism

hmu with suggestions to scream into the abyss

hey so if you’re wondering where I went I’m active mostly on my twitter (also my side blogs stay pretty busy links are up)

just because it's a good meme doesn't mean it's a should meme

I used to be so concerned about being funny on the internet I have no idea how I kept track of more than two blogs like now I can't keep track of how many meals I have in a day

don't send dick pics. send collarbones, hair. Ribs. ankles, thighs, maybe a strip steak medium rare

god I wish I could make some money *sells something for $1.50 on ebay* *smokes saffron cigar while putting on tiger skin coat* I, alone, lead this world’s economy

if you think you can’t start a revolution I bought heelys two weeks ago and now FIVE other people got them so just remember to believe in yourself and you too may heel the same path

what I plan to have for a late night snack: something light, chips or pretzels or maybe some ice cream what I eat: 9 course meal, the people and facilities involved in making said meal, the meat and bones of every four legged creature in the western hemisphere, the entire state of Delaware, half a gas giant