Leaving the lights on
Susan: “Pete? Hey, Pete, come here and take a look at this!”
Peter: “What? Sue, the car is still running, and I...holy sincest!”
Susan: “I know!”
Peter: “So that’s been-?”
Susan: “Looks like it!”
Peter: “But that would mean-”
Susan: “Oh shit-”
Peter: “Uh, heh, language, Sue. We’re, uh, still on-air!” (”I told you to leave up the placard before our last shift!”)
Susan: (”Well Wendy had left the coffeepot on, and I didn’t want to be rude and leave it over the weekend, so I unplugged it!”) “Uh, hello loyal viewers! Sorry for our extended absence.”
Peter: “Well, life just gets in the way sometimes, doesn’t it Sue?”
Susan: “Hmm, indeed it does, Pete. Unfortunately, we neglected to let our loyal fans know that our editorial staff has followed the shifting winds of Shipmerica, and moved on to a different regional station.”
Peter: “Nothing lasts forever, Sue. Heck, we’re off on our honeymoon to the Shippibean in just a few days anyhow!”
Susan: “Well, now is as good of a time as any to thank our viewers again for their attendance and care. We-oh, dear.”
Peter: “That’s a lot of mail in the Mail Slot. I, uh, I may have forgotten to put the stop at the Shipping Office.”
Susan: “Taking a look at a few of these is breaking my heart. Viewers, take heart. Both we, your loyal co-anchors, as well as the entire staff of The Weather Anti, are safe and sound.”
Peter: “If a little quiet these last few months.”
Susan: “As you said earlier, life just gets in the way sometimes. In any case, loyal viewers, thank you for watching The Weather Anti. While our coverage no longer in circulation, we’d like to encourage those viewers out there with the entrepreneurial spirit to consider forging your own startup news channels.”
Peter: “Fantastic idea, Sue. After all, these public broadcast channels are funded in part from shippers like you!”
Susan: “No matter what the topic, whether it be cooking, travel, sports, world news, antique dealing, or even cartoons, there’s always space on #The Anti Network.”
Peter: “Exactly. Channels like The Weather Anti and Anti Planet are nowhere close to filling the airwaves, so let us hear your voices too!”
Susan: “Whoops, Pete, looks like I misread our ticket; our flight leaves at 6 PM, not 6 AM! We’ve got to go!”
Peter: “Oh shoot! Well, folks, thanks again for watching, and remember, stay dry, and don’t let the antis get you down!”
Together: “This has been The Weather-Anti, signing off!”
(The door slams and a lock clicks.)
(Beat)
(A key frantically clicks in the lock, and the door is swung open.)
Susan “Almost forgot!”
(A marker can be heard scribbling, and the screen is filled with a placard)
THE WEATHER ANTI
Celebrating quality journalism for0.50.75 years.
Stay dry out there!
