I just got the hilarious image of Bilbo clinging to Thorin’s back when reading this.

Like, they’re in the middle of the town of men and Bilbo really doesn’t fancy being stepped on thank you very much. So at the first chance he gets he just crawls up Thorin’s back. And Thorin, being the adorably lovable oblivious idiot of a king that he is, doesn’t even notice. When Kili asks how he lost him, he’s literally staring at Bilbo over the dwarf’s shoulders. And Fili is beside him just face palming. Of course, when Thorin makes that comment about the hobbit’s height, He gets I smack in the head because Bilbo, quite frankly, does not enjoy being called short.

deep in THOT

Okay but can we think about Thorin taking advantage of Bilbo not speaking Khuzdul? Grumbly, lovesick Thorin feeling breathless with the weight of his ‘unrequited’ feelings and just blurting it out one day and for a moment he panics but, of course, Bilbo just frowns and reminds him he doesn’t speak Dwarf.

So he makes a habit of it, saying things like ‘I love you’ and ‘stay with me’ and ‘your smile is worth more than any jewel’ whenever he can’t hold it in any more and it helps, not much but a little, being able to say these things to Bilbo without having to hear a rejection.

Except somewhere in all this he seems to forget that Bilbo is a stubborn, resourceful little thing who, unbeknownst to Thorin, sets about learning Khuzdul the minute they reclaim Erebor and it isn’t long before Thorin, almost without thinking by now, greets Bilbo one morning with ‘you are looking quite lovely this morning, treasure of all treasures’ but instead of the usual roll of the eyes, it’s answered with a gasp and a very wide, incredulous stare.

By the time Bilbo manages to stutter out a very shaky ‘Thank you’, Thorin is bright red and his stomach is in knots and he’s just wondering if maybe he should make a strategic exit when Bilbo, wonder that he is, stands up onto his toes and kisses him sweetly on the cheek. ‘So are you’ he answers, with truly awful pronunciation, and Thorin just

The image I’m going to fall asleep to tonight is of Bilbo and Thorin, lying together in bed, in the dark, all snuggled up together and cozy, and before they drift off to sleep, Thorin teaches Bilbo how to swear in khuzdul.

Lemon Meringue

Here it is, folks: the opening chapter of the Lemon Meringue AU! 

AO3

This is for @shygaladriel​ and @angelsallfire​, who provided the prompts that spawned this beast last week. I have had so much fun working on this! I’m still going strong, and I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do!

Chapter 1

Thorin’s hobbit was depressed.

He pondered the issue while he looped wire to make a whisk for Azalea Proudfoot. The rain beating on the awning of his little blacksmith shop faded to a dull background thrum while he worked. Around and around the wire went, and so too did his thoughts, always coming back to the same, worrisome fact. His hobbit was depressed.

Keep reading

My jam is totally when character A tries to woo B but continuously fails in ways that make the pining B think A hates them and all they stand for but in reality A is just a stuttering dumbass who just wants a smooch

A Home For Christmas

Bilbo cradled his crying nephew in his arms as he stepped out of the Santa line once more. The poor young boy wanted to see Santa Claus so badly and Bilbo was absolutely determined to make it happen, but every time they neared the front Frodo would lose his nerve and start crying so that Bilbo had to step out of line to console him. Some of the volunteer helper elves were giving him pitying looks. The others just rolled their eyes whenever he stepped back in line. They probably thought that he should just give up, but this was Frodo’s first Christmas since he lost his parents and Bilbo was determined to make it a good one.

As he went over to sit on one of the benches surrounding Santa’s display, Bilbo noticed two young boys sitting pressed against each other, despite the large area of seating they could occupy, and staring wonderingly at Santa as the jolly man laughed and smiled at each of the little children that sat upon his lap. Bilbo took a moment to look around for anyone who looked like the children’s parents before sitting. It wasn’t uncommon in this store for children to wander unattended as the toy store encouraged their employees to bring their own children to make it more fun for any customers.

“Why’s he crying?” the younger boy with raven hair asked as he stared wide-eyed at Frodo.

“It’s none of our business,” the older elbowed his brother. The young one looked at his older brother before turning his head down so that Bilbo could only barely see the imperceptible tremble of his lower lip. The elder must have seen it too, though, because he pulled his brother even closer to him so he could wrap an arm around him.

“It’s alright,” Bilbo shook his head before the younger could cry. “Do you want to tell them, Frodo?” His young nephew had become very shy ever since his parents’ death and Bilbo did his best to get him to come out of his shell through situations like this.

“I want to see Santa!” the boy cried.

“But you were in line to see Santa when you started crying,” the young one pointed out, not even a sign that he was just about to cry himself only moments ago.

“He just got a bit nervous,” Bilbo replied. “We’ll see Santa soon enough. What about you boys? Have you seen Santa yet?”

The younger looked to the older. “We’re saving our money for a Christmas present for our Uncle,” the elder said, though both boys still looked at Santa longingly.

It only took a moment before Bilbo’s mind was made up. He only hoped it worked. “Well then, I have a request to ask of you.” Both boys looked at him. “You see, my little Frodo gets so nervous to meet Santa by himself, but I think that if you two go with him, he won’t be so nervous anymore. Would you be willing to accompany him, if I pay for it?”

“Really?” all three boys asked at once.

“Of course,” Bilbo grinned. In a moment all three boys were up and tugging him back into the line. Bilbo got a couple of eye-rolls and a couple of grins, but he paid them no mind. He was certain this would be the last time he would be in line anyway.

——–

The wait in the line, long as it was, actually seemed to go by rather quickly as Bilbo’s nephews played around him with the two boys, who had introduced themselves as Fili and Kili, who had become fast friends. It all came to an end, however, when Frodo realized they were at the front of the line. He immediately froze and Bilbo frowned as he started to tear up.

“Don’t cry,” Kili grabbed Frodo’s shoulders. “Santa’s great. You’ll see.”

“I’m scared,” Frodo cried.

“Don’t worry,” said Fili as he wrapped the boy and his brother in a hug. “We’ll all walk together and then it won’t be so scary. Isn’t that right?” he asked as he turned to Bilbo.

“That’s exactly right,” Bilbo grinned and then it was their turn and Fili and Kili both took one of Frodo’s hands to lead him to Santa.

“Ho ho ho,” Santa grinned, “which one of you wants to sit in my lap first?”

Both boys looked at Frodo, completely willing to let him go first, but Bilbo’s nephew shrunk back with wide and teary eyes. “I’ll go first,” said Kili, “just to show you it’s not so bad. Then you can go and then Fili can go.” Fili nodded at the idea, which caused Frodo to give a hesitant nod of his own. Kili grinned and scrambled up into Santa’s lap before the helper elves could even attempt to help him up making the old man laugh.

“And what would you like for Christmas this year?”

“I want to learn archery!” Kili said. “The people in the movies are so cool with their bows and arrows!”

“Is that so?” Santa laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Look this way,” said the rather bored looking helper elf behind the camera.

Kili smiled at the camera just long enough for the elf to take his picture before he scrambled right back off Santa’s lap. “It’s your turn,” he said to Frodo who still looked very nervous, but agreed anyway.

Bilbo quickly stepped forward to help place his nephew on Santa’s lap before any of the helper elves could do it. He knew that if any of them tried to pick the boy up, he would lose his nerve immediately, so he made sure that it would only be him and Santa that would be in contact with his nephew.

Frodo squirmed a bit in Santa’s lap, glancing at his Uncle and then his two new friends before finally settling and turning to face the jolly old fellow. “Hello,” Santa said with his most calming voice. Bilbo had caught him giving him a sympathetic look every now and again when he would have to get out of line and he looked just as proud of Frodo for making it this far as Bilbo was. He was also being just as careful not to frighten the boy. “And have you been a good boy this year?” Frodo nodded. “Oh yes,” said Santa, “I think you’re definitely on my nice list, so what would you like for Christmas?”

“I want more stories,” Frodo mumbled. It was rather an odd request for one so young as Frodo to want books at his young age, but the boy loved to hear all the stories that Bilbo read to him and was already trying to read on his own. In fact, he had already bought a couple books for his nephew, but he could definitely go and buy more to be from Santa.

“Books?” Santa smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Look this way,” said the cameraperson and Frodo managed a small smile long enough for the camera to take his picture.

“Now you have a Merry Christmas, okay?” Santa said and Frodo nodded before allowing Bilbo to place him back on the ground where Kili pulled him off to the side so that Fili could step up. This time Santa reached forward and settled Fili on his lap. “And what can I get you for Christmas, young man?”

“I want my family to spend Christmas in a house,” Fili said.

“A house?” asked Santa with a frown while Bilbo had to hold back a gasp nearby.

Fili nodded. “Ours was burned down recently and we don’t have the money to get a new one, so I thought I would ask Santa. I want my family to spend Christmas in a house.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” said Santa somewhat hesitantly, but he made sure to smile when the cameraperson called their attention for the picture.

Fili jumped off Santa’s lap and went to his brother and new friend to wait eagerly to see the pictures that Bilbo had gotten for them. Bilbo took them quietly, getting a pitying look from the Santa, but refusing to say that he wasn’t actually the one who had lost his home. He didn’t want to make the boys feel bad. He was already growing to like them. As was Frodo.

Suddenly a plan formed in Bilbo’s head and he grinned. “Would you boys mind taking me to see your family? I’d like to give them these pictures.”

“Sure!” the boys agreed and they took Frodo’s hands once more before they set off.

It turned out that the boy’s family was a rather burly man who was set to stock the shelves. He honestly didn’t even look like he belonged in a toy store like this and Bilbo wondered why he had this job when he looked like he could be doing so many more different things.

“Why don’t you boys go play with the trains over there,” still in Bilbo’s line of sight, but far enough away that they might not overhear his conversation, “while I talk to your dad.”

“Okay!” the boys chorused together.

“Excuse me?” Bilbo said as he approached the man. He was tall and looked like he could look rather intimidating had he not been in the middle of a toy store wearing an apron.

“Yes?” the man asked as he turned to face Bilbo. “Can I help you find something?”

“Oh no!” Bilbo shook his head. “I just came to give you these,” Bilbo said as he handed the Santa pictures to the large man.

“Oh!” he frowned, but still took the pictures eagerly. “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh nothing,” Bilbo shook his head. “Your boys were actually a great help to me. You see, my poor nephew just got so nervous when he almost got to Santa and would start crying. He took an immediate liking to your sons so I asked them to join us. He made it to the front and they encouraged helped him through the whole process. It was really a great help to me.”

“I see,” the man nodded slowly, still not seeming to believe what Bilbo was saying.

“Actually,” Bilbo said. “There is one thing.” The man sighed and went to pull out his wallet, but Bilbo wasn’t finished. “You see, it’ll just be my nephew and I for Christmas this year, the poor thing lost his parents and this’ll be his first year without them, and I was wondering, since he’s taken such a liking to your sons, if you would, if it’s not an inconvenience of course, come spend Christmas with us?”

The man’s eyes widened, but he shook his head slowly. “We don’t want to inconvenience…”

“It would be a great help to me,” Bilbo said before he could even finish that thought.

The man frowned, watching his boys play with the small boy that they seemed to like very much, before turning back to Bilbo. “I suppose, as long as we aren’t inconveniencing you.”

“Great!” Bilbo grinned, refraining from any of the twitchy movements that he was prone to whenever he was excited. Just a little bit more and his plan would be in action. “You can come over for the day on Christmas Eve and then spend the night. The boys can share Bilbo’s room and I have a guest room that you could use. Frodo will be so excited.”

“I work Christmas Eve,” the man shook his head.

“Oh,” Bilbo’s face fell, but after a moment he realized that this would be even better. “Well, if it’s not too much trouble, maybe I could come and pick the boys up. I’ll need to do a bit of last minute shopping at this mall anyway.”

“I don’t know,” the man said slowly.

“Please,” Bilbo said. “It would make Frodo so happy to get to spend all of Christmas Eve with his friends. I promise that I will take good care of them.”

The man sighed. “Alright. My nephews will be very happy to join you on Christmas Eve.”

“Thank you!” Bilbo grinned, this time not being able to stop himself from jumping a little on his toes. “My name’s Bilbo Baggins,” he said as he reached into his wallet, pulling out a card with his name and number on it along with a pen.

“Thorin Oakenshield.” The man just barely had enough time to reply before Bilbo was speaking again.

“I’ve written my address on this. Feel free to contact me whenever. I’ll be here Christmas Eve as soon as the mall opens. Can I pick your nephews up then?” Thorin nodded. “Great. I have to go now, but I will make sure to be here on Christmas Eve.”

Surprisingly, Thorin contacted Bilbo the very next day, a week before Christmas Eve, wondering if he could bring anything. Bilbo almost said that Thorin didn’t need to worry about anything and that he would take care of everything, but he thought that might be pushing his luck a bit. Instead, he said that Thorin could make whatever he liked in Bilbo’s kitchen. He even offered that Thorin could buy the ingredients and bring them to Bilbo’s house so they wouldn’t have to be transported from Thorin’s house. Thorin agreed and came by a couple of days before Christmas Eve toting groceries and his boys.

“Come in,” Bilbo smiled. “Frodo’s in the living room just through that door,” he pointed where Christmas music was playing and the boys were gone, “and the kitchen is right this way.”

“Thank you,” Thorin said shifting the groceries on his arm.

“Do you want to carry anything?”

“I’m okay,” Thorin shook his head.

“Can I ask what you’ll be making?”

“It’s a family recipe,” Thorin replied. “We make it every year on Christmas Eve.”

“Oh,” Bilbo smiled. “I’m glad that you’ll let us join in your family tradition.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Thorin shrugged as he put the last of the ingredients away.

“I’m terribly sorry to ask this,” Bilbo said after a moment, “but, you see, I’m trying to put the tree up, but Frodo is very eager to start decorating it and it would go so much faster with more help.”

Thorin laughed and shook his head, but followed Bilbo into the room where the mess of the tree was. “You haven’t even started putting it up.”

“Yes, well, it’s a new tree and I can’t quite figure out how to put the stand together, which is absolutely necessary before we can put the branches on. Luckily, they light up on their own, so we don’t have to put any lights on.”

“Alright,” Thorin laughed again as he rolled up his sleeves. “Let’s get to it.”

——–

Thorin and Bilbo both collapsed on the couch after handing the some of the ornaments that were least likely to break to the boys to hang on the tree. “That was exhausting,” Bilbo sighed. It really was too, and not because of the setting up of the actual tree. They kept having to stop and chase after the boys for one reason or the other the entire time that they were trying to set up the tree.

“You know all those ornaments are going to go on the bottom of the tree,” Thorin replied.

“That’s not all of them,” Bilbo answered. “I just want to take a break before we dive into the actual decorations as well.” Thorin nodded immediately and the two sat in silence as they watched the boys place the ornaments all over the bottom of the tree. “So, Kili asked to learn archery for Christmas, but I didn’t quite hear what Fili wanted from Santa,” Bilbo lied. Surely the boy had wanted something before the fire and Bilbo was determined to figure out what it was.

“He wants to learn fencing,” Thorin shrugged. Bilbo laughed. “I actually got them a toy bow and a wooden sword, but something happened and they were destroyed. I can’t afford anymore. If it wasn’t for you, I’m not sure we would even be having a Christmas this year.”

“It doesn’t really surprise me that Fili would want to learn fencing,” Bilbo said, eager to change the subject to something happier. “My own boy wants books. He can’t even read yet. I’m sure that he will grow up to be a scholar or something.”

“He does seem like the type,” Thorin nodded. “He’s very quiet. Perfect for a library.” That was true. Even when he was crying, Frodo almost never raised his voice. Sometimes, Bilbo wouldn’t even know the boy was upset until he crawled up next to him and cried on him.

“He’s actually been a lot more outgoing recently,” Bilbo confided. “Ever since my cousins died, he’s not really spoken to anyone besides myself. I’m truly very glad that you’ll be joining us for Christmas.”

“We’ll happily be at your service,” Thorin nodded and Bilbo smiled up at him. For a brief moment, their eyes connected and Bilbo looked away first with a blush on his face.

“Well,” said Bilbo, jumping off the couch with new found nervous energy. “I suppose we should start decorating the tree before it becomes too bottom heavy.” He dug around in his bags. And dug around some more. And dug around some more before frowning. “I’ve forgotten to get a tree topper.”

“I have one,” Thorin replied as he too stood. “It’s actually in my car. I can go get it.”

“Oh good!” Bilbo grinned. “I’ll come too.”

“No!” Thorin said immediately, making Bilbo jump. He took a moment to calm before continuing. “You should stay with the boys so that my nephews don’t get in any trouble.”

“Okay,” Bilbo said nervously and Thorin hurried out of the room.

“He just doesn’t want you to see how messy the car is,” Kili said with a smile. “There’s clothes and blankets all over the place.”

“Oh,” Bilbo said slowly. “I see.” But it wasn’t what Kili was saying that Bilbo understood. He knew that the family he had invited over had lost their home, but he hadn’t thought that they were actually living in their car. If he had any worries about inviting this family into his home, which he didn’t, they would’ve been discarded with that realization. Now he was even gladder that he chose to do this even though it was something he never would have done before, which was quite a realization in itself.

Thorin returned with a big metallic star that Bilbo almost feared would be too heavy for the tree to even hold up, but Thorin assured him that it was rather light before handing it to him. “It is very light,” Bilbo agreed. “Will you put it on the top.”

“It’s too high,” Thorin shook his head. Bilbo really had gotten a rather tall tree and they couldn’t find any step stools.

“Well then I certainly can’t reach,” Bilbo frowned.

Thorin only smirked before he swooped around Bilbo and picked him right off the ground until he could reach the top. The boys giggled at Bilbo’s shriek, but he quickly got over it and set the star where it was supposed to be so that Thorin would let him down from, what he considered, the rather precarious hold.

“Don’t do that again,” Bilbo smacked Thorin’s arm, but the bigger man just laughed.

“Me too,” said Frodo, reaching out to Thorin with an ornament in his hand. Bilbo was actually surprised that the boy was so willing to be held by another, but Thorin reached down and carefully picked the boy up into his arms so that he could place the ornament in what he considered to be the perfect position.

“This one next,” said Kili, holding up another ornament. Instead of allowing Thorin to pick him up as well, he handed the ornament to Frodo who was quick to direct the man to where he wanted to go. This whole process continued with Fili and Kili pulling out random ornaments to hand to Frodo while the other brother put another at the bottom of the tree.

Bilbo had to stop himself from crying several times. It was just like having a whole family for Christmas, and that was a feeling that Bilbo hadn’t felt in many years since his parents died. This would be the best Christmas for him in years.

———

True to his word, come Christmas Eve, Bilbo was outside the door to the toy store the moment it opened despite the traffic and rush. Even before the doors were unlocked, Fili and Kili saw him and were waving at Frodo who waved just as eagerly back at them. The moment the doors opened, Frodo tugged Bilbo inside where he found Thorin to be standing near the entrance.

“Are you sure your okay with taking them for the day?” Thorin asked.

“Of course,” Bilbo grinned. “They’ll help keep Frodo entertained while I do my last minute shopping. Don’t worry. We won’t be here long, but I’ll stop by to make sure you know when I’m heading out.”

“Thank you,” Thorin nodded before turning to his boys. “You boys be good for Mr. Bilbo,” he said.

“Yes Uncle,” they chorused.

“Come along,” Bilbo smiled. “Let’s go before everything gets too busy.”

“Bye Uncle!” the boys waved as they walked with Bilbo to the other side of the store where the opening into the mall was.

Bilbo waited just long enough for them to be out of the store before he crouched down to be face-to-face with the boys. “Now,” he said, “have you gotten your Uncle’s gift yet?” Both boys shook their head. “Oh dear. Well, what do you want to get him?”

“This way!” Kili grinned, tugging Bilbo along until they came to one of the jewelry stores. “We want to get him that.” He pointed to a nice watch. It wasn’t one of the really fancy ones, but it looked like it would fit Thorin perfectly.

“But we don’t have enough,” Fili said.

“Really?” Bilbo asked. “Do you mind if I count it just to make sure?” the boys nodded. They were short, of course, but they did have more than Bilbo was expecting. Thorin had told him they were doing odd jobs in order to earn money, but he hadn’t expected them to have earned this much. Even if it wasn’t nearly enough. “It’s just the right amount,” he lied, waving one of the jewelers over.

“Really?” Kili gasped with wide eyes while Fili narrowed his own.

“Of course, you both did a very good job,” Bilbo said.

“What can I help you with?” asked the jeweler.

“Tell them which one you want,” Bilbo said.

“That one!” Kili pointed and the woman was quick to pull out the exact one they wanted. It wasn’t surprising, she had probably seen them there often enough.

“Here you are,” Bilbo said, handing over the cash before the woman could name a price. She gave him a look, but he put a finger to his lips. The boys didn’t need to know that he slipped his credit card in with the cash. The jeweler nodded and turned to the register opposite them so that they wouldn’t see her using said card.

“There we are,” she agreed before carefully placing the watch in its case and a bag before handing it to Kili who hugged it against his chest. “If you need to get it resized at all come back here any time and we’ll do it for free.”

“Thank you,” Bilbo smiled. “Now we best be off before traffic gets too bad. We can wrap that at home if you’d like.”

“Okay!” all three boys chorused and Bilbo ushered them away from the jeweler with one last thank you and a Merry Christmas as she slipped him his card.

———

Once they were back at the house and the present was wrapped and secreted away, Bilbo set the boys in the living room to play while he went to the dining room to start cooking a feast. He was sure that he was probably making too much, but if there was one thing that his family never shirked on, it was the amount of food that should be at a feast and a feast was what he was making. He got so wrapped up in it, in fact, that he didn’t even notice the time before Thorin was knocking on the door.

“Come in!” he called out, unable to leave what he was working on in the kitchen. “It’s unlocked!” The sound of the door opening and closing was his only answer. “I’m in the kitchen.”

“It’s not safe to leave your door unlocked like that, you know,” Thorin said from the kitchen door.

“Yes, well,” Bilbo shrugged. “I may have been a bit distracted. Do you need help with your family recipe?”

Thorin laughed. “I think you have your hands full. I can handle my family recipe and you just do what you’re doing.”

“If you’re sure,” Bilbo nodded. “Just let me know if you need help.”

“You do the same,” Thorin replied.

—–

With as much as the five of them ate, they hardly put a dent in the food that Bilbo made.

Bilbo smiled sheepishly at Thorin as the man looked at all the food left on the table. “My nephews may have hearty appetites,” Thorin began with a grin, “But, even so, were you planning on feeding an army?”

The only thing Bilbo could do was laugh, “I may have gotten a little carried away, but its kind of part of a little tradition in this neighborhood, everyone participates.” Bilbo started packing up the leftovers and putting them as neatly as he could into the fridge.

Thorin moved to help after sending the boys in the living room to play, easily falling into a groove with the shorter male. “Just what is this tradition?”

Bilbo opened his mouth to respond, but, in that moment, Thorin’s hand brushed his own and a shock travelled up his arm. He had to take a moment to work through the feeling making him blush before he could speak again. “Oh, well, we all collect our leftovers from Christmas Eve and Christmas, and the night after Christmas the whole neighborhood gets together for a big dinner, all of us sharing our leftovers together.” Bilbo looked up at Thorin’s face to gauge his reaction, as it wasn’t a very common thing. “Though I do believe that my family always brought the most leftovers, thanks to our annual Christmas Eve feast. Maybe you could join us?” he asked hopefully, wanting to spend just that little bit more time with this man.

Grasping the hand that he had brushed against, Thorin gave it a little a squeeze, “That sounds like a great tradition, we’d be happy to join you.” He let go of Bilbo’s hand, “After all, it’s only one more day.”

Bilbo’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he turned back to the fridge, making sure that everything was placed properly before closing the door, “Yes… Just one day.”

——–

By the time all the food was packed up and they finally made their way back into the living room, the boys had exhausted themselves so much that Bilbo and Thorin had to carry the sleeping children to Frodo’s room and tuck them in carefully before sneaking out of the room.

“Your room is this way,” Bilbo whispered, not willing to wake the boys just in case they should want to try to stay up waiting for Santa to come.

“I don’t really need a room,” Thorin shook his head. “I can just go and come again tomorrow morning.”

“Nonsense,” Bilbo replied. “There’s plenty of room here and we’re going to want to start having fun the moment we wake up again. You need to be here for that. There is plenty of room for you. Besides, I’m afraid you’ll fall asleep at the wheel with how tired you look. It would be better all around if you stay here.”

Thorin hesitated, but, unable to think of a good enough excuse to leave and not really wanting to in the first place, he finally agreed so Bilbo showed him to his room. “Isn’t this the Master bedroom?” Thorin raised a brow.

“Well,” Bilbo shrugged. “I think the guest room is too small for you. Besides, the guest room is closer to Frodo’s room and he still sometimes gets nightmares. I’ve been sleeping in the guest room more often than not recently. If you don’t mind.”

Thorin rolled his eyes, but went into the room anyway. Bilbo had to stop himself from cheering in his excitement. Everything was still going exactly as he planned it. Now he just had to put the finishing touches on it and he would finally have a perfect Christmas for everyone in the house.

——-

Bilbo woke the next morning to the smell of bacon in the kitchen. He didn’t even know that he had bacon in the fridge.

“Mr. Bilbo,” Fili called out as he knocked on Bilbo’s door, “Uncle Thorin is making breakfast.”

“I’ll be right out,” Bilbo said as he slipped out from underneath his covers. He contemplated just throwing on his robe like he would on any other morning, but just the thought of Thorin seeing him like that made him blush. Instead, he quickly threw on one of his normal outfits with a Christmas sweater over the top. It had been a gift from his mother and, he thought, looked very becoming on him.

Bilbo quickly put the last present in his pocket and hurried to the kitchen to find Thorin dishing up bacon eggs and French toast. “I brought this stuff when I brought the ingredients the other day,” Thorin said to Bilbo’s questioning look. “I hope it’s okay that I used your kitchen.”

“Thank you for doing so,” Bilbo replied. “I didn’t even think I would be able to make breakfast before everyone wanted to open presents. By the way, I hope it’s okay, but I bought your nephews a couple of gifts as well.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Thorin frowned.

“I wanted to,” Bilbo replied. “They’ve been so good to Frodo anyway.”

“The fact that you invited us to stay over for Christmas is all the gifts we’ll need.”

“Well, it’s too late now. I couldn’t return them even if I wanted to,” Bilbo lied.

“I’ll pay you back for them,” Thorin replied.

“I won’t accept it,” Bilbo smiled. “I really just wanted them to get some presents, so Frodo wouldn’t be the only one opening them.”

“Fine,” Thorin sighed. “Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure.”

——–

“Presents!” Frodo cheered as he went over to the tree.

“Now, Frodo,” Bilbo replied, “you know the rules. We open the presents one by one.”

“Okay!” Frodo grinned going back over to the couch where Thorin sat and raising his hands. Thorin smiled and picked the young boy up and into his lap. His nephews quickly scrambled up to sit on either side of him.

“Now,” Bilbo smiled once everyone was settled, “which one should we open first?”

“The big ones,” Frodo said.

“Alright,” Bilbo grinned as he took the bigger presents in the back and one that sat at the front center. “Let’s see, this one says To: Frodo, From: Santa,” he said as he handed the heavy thing to Thorin since Bilbo wouldn’t have been able to hold it himself. “And this one says, To: Kili, From: Santa.” Kili gasped as his present was handed to him. “And this one says, To: Fili, From: Santa.” Fili just barely held himself back from eagerly taking the gift. “Youngest opens first.”

“Yay!” Frodo cheered as Thorin held the gift for him to rip the paper off. “Stories!”

“They’re a collection of bedtime stories that we can read before you go to bed,” Bilbo explained.

“That’s what I wanted.”

Bilbo nodded. “Now it’s Kili’s turn.”

Kili quickly opened his own large present and squealed in childish delight when he found a little toy bow. “Now you, Fili!” he said excitedly and Fili nodded before eagerly opening his own gift, which wound up being a little wooden sword. “Santa is awesome!” Kili grinned.

“Yes he is,” Bilbo agreed. “Now, which one should we open next?”

“Can we give Uncle Thorin his present?” Fili asked.

“Of course,” Bilbo agreed, reaching under the tree to grab the small gift and hand it to Thorin who raised a brow.

“To: Uncle Thorin, From: Fili and Kili,” he read.

“Open it!” Kili pulled on his Uncle’s pant eagerly.

“Okay, okay,” Thorin said. He opened the gift and his eyes widened at the jeweler box. “What’s this?” he asked, looking suspiciously at Bilbo.

“Your nephews saved up the money to get this present specifically for you,” Bilbo replied, affectively making sure that there was no way that Thorin could try to pay him back even if he did figure out how much money Bilbo put down on the gift. “Open it.”

“Open it,” the boys chorused.

Thorin opened the gift carefully and gasped when he noticed the watch that he had been hoping to get for himself before the fire happened. With watery eyes, he pulled the boys into a hug, but looked at Bilbo when he said, “Thank you.”

——-

“That was a bit more than a couple of gifts,” Thorin pointed out when they were finally done opening all the presents. Bilbo had gotten several toys and a couple of outfits for Fili and Kili as well as for his own nephew.

“Most of them were from Santa,” Bilbo pointed out, but Thorin just gave him a knowing look. “And you got Frodo a present as well as your own boys. We’re not done yet, anyway. We still have to do the stockings.” He quickly grabbed the stockings from the fireplace, three of them new additions over night, and handed them out to everyone before sitting with them on the couch. “Youngest first,” he said and Frodo dug into his stocking to pull out a toy train and plane.

“Look,” he said to his new friends.

“Cool,” Kili said.

“Awesome,” Fili agreed.

“Now you,” Frodo pointed to Kili.

“Okay,” Kili agreed as he dug into his own stocking to come out with a piece of paper. “What is it?” he asked, too impatient to try reading.

“It’s archery lessons,” Bilbo said and Thorin’s head shot up as his mouth gaped open.

“Really?!” Kili gasped, staring down at the paper.

“Now, it’s Fili’s turn.”

Fili dug another piece of paper out of his own stocking. “Fencing?” he read.

“Yep,” Bilbo nodded. “Sword fighting lessons.”

“Thank you!” Fili grinned and he, being the closest to Bilbo, threw his arms around the man that had made all his Christmas wishes come true. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Bilbo hugged the boy back, “but we’re still not quite done yet. It’s Thorin’s turn now.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re younger than me,” Thorin pointed out.

“Me?!” Bilbo gaped, looking down at the stocking in his lap. He hadn’t gotten any presents except one that he had bought for himself so that the boys wouldn’t wonder why he didn’t get anything from Santa. The only reason he got his stocking down at all is because he wanted to make sure no one asked him about it, but now that he was looking at it, he did realize that there was something inside of it. Reaching inside, his hand wrapped around a little rectangular wooden box and he pulled it out. It was a case with a glass top that held a little letter opener in the shape of a sword. “What’s this?”

Thorin shrugged. “I saw it at the toy store and I thought you would like it to put on your writing desk for all the letters you seem to get.”

“Thank you,” Bilbo said, holding the present close to him. He hadn’t expected Thorin to get his nephew a present, but he hadn’t been surprised that he had, so he really wasn’t expecting a present for him at all. The fact that Thorin had gone out of his way to get him something even though his family was already short on money meant so much to Bilbo.

“You’re welcome,” Thorin nodded.

“Now you open yours, please,” Thorin said. He had been looking forward to this moment ever since he invited that family to this house.

“Alright,” Thorin rolled his eyes, reaching into the very last stocking. It took him a moment to even find the small item, but when he did he was completely confused. It was a key. Just a regular sized key that Thorin had no idea what its use was. “What’s this?” he asked.

“There’s one last piece,” Bilbo said, digging in his back pocket to pull out another piece of paper to hand it to the other man.

Thorin took a moment to examine the paper before what it was really hit him. “Is this…?”

“It’s a lease agreement,” Bilbo said. “This house belonged to Frodo’s parents before they died and it will be his when he turns eighteen. For now, though, it’s in my name and it would be much easier to take care of if I rented it out. I’d much rather do so with someone that I know. I would very much like for you guys to be the ones to stay here.”

“How did you know?” Thorin asked.

“Why don’t you boys go play with your new toys,” Bilbo ushered the boys away as he looked back at Thorin. This probably would be a conversation that would be easier to have without them around anyway. Then he turned to Thorin. Now came the hard part. “Fili asked Santa for a house for Christmas since your own was burned down in a fire.”

Thorin frowned. “I don’t need your pity,” he growled.

“I know,” Bilbo nodded. He expected Thorin to be upset about something, but he hadn’t expected it to be quite so badly. “You and your family really have been a big help to mine. I’ve enjoyed the time spent with you over the last few days. I would never have asked you to rent this house if I hadn’t. Please. I really would like for you to stay here. Even if it’s just until you get your feet back underneath you and, if you’d rather not bring Fili and Kili with you to work, I live just a few doors down and I would very much be willing to babysit so Frodo can have his friends over. I work from home anyway.”

“I-,” Thorin opened his mouth to deny the gift, but Bilbo cut him off.

“Please,” he said.

“Very well,” Thorin finally agreed after another moment’s hesitation. Bilbo began to thank the man, but Thorin continued. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Bilbo frowned, not knowing what more he could possibly do to convince Thorin to take the offered lease.

“We go out,” Thorin said, but blushed immediately after when he realized he didn’t say exactly what he meant. “I mean, to dinner. With me. Without the boys.”

Bilbo’s grin lit up his entire face. “I would love to.”

Thorin sighed in relief and smile back. “Merry Christmas Bilbo.”

“Merry Christmas Thorin.”

I completely forgot to thank my sister @drarrysinful for helping me edit this story. Go check her out if your a drarry fan as well.

Christmas is coming around. Happy holidays to all.

the front of bilbo’s hair getting too long and thorin bugging him, saying he can take care of it for him but bilbo refusing. then one day it’s so in his eyes he nearly trips and thorin just gives him a ‘told u so’ look so he finally caves in and sits down with a huff. and what thorin does is sit behind him and use his bangs + various curls to do the dwarrow equivalent of like a french braid going backwards on his head. he uses mostly bangs so it’s not like a full stripe of braid down his head and it’s only got a little tail. but nonetheless more efficient

 - fortesa latifi | insp.

right so: hobbits are known, in the lotr canon, to be incredibly resilient & incorruptible. bilbo doesn’t get a concussion despite being hit by a flying rock. frodo manages to carry the ring across middle-earth. so: hobbits are tough nuggets and it takes a LOT to injure them. 

the dwarves don’t know this. consider: bilbo loses his balance, slips and falls two hundred meters off the lonely mountain when they’re all looking for the keyhole. 

there’s a long moment when the other dwarves are 

there’s a long moment—  a silent moment— and then the shouting begins. fili and kili bring out their climbing equipment and start estimating the distance. balin’s face is long and grim. thorin shouts bilbo’s name, loudly and woundedly. 

then, there’s a loud ‘I’M FINE’ from down in the crevace. bilbo climbs over the rock he fell beneath. ‘I THINK THE KEYHOLE IS UP THERE. ALSO CAN YOU THROW A ROPE DOWN’