Some thoughts

I went back through my Tumblr. I’ve had it for I think 5-6 years now. So much has changed.

I met one of my best friends on here. Turns out, she lives an hour away.

I went through a breakup and found the love of my life.

I am in recovery from self harm, depression, and anxiety. In high school, when I was most active on here, I was severely depressed and self harmed quite a bit. I have struggled over the years, and still get urges, but I have gone such a long time without hurting myself. I have relapsed a handful of times, but overall, it is in my control.

When I was in high school, my depression was way worse than my anxiety. Now it’s the opposite, but my anxiety also isn’t crippling anymore.

I took antidepressants for just over 2 years after years of just therapy. I needed something more. I took antidepressants from April 2014 to June 2016. It has been almost a year and a half and I have been through even harder things than I went through while on antidepressants and I came out even stronger. I don’t need them anymore. Not to say that they don’t help people, because they absolutely do. For me personally, I feel much better without them.

I have made many mistakes that I still regret to this day. I still regret how I treated my ex even though I have apologized many times and he has accepted. I regret some things I have done to my fiancé. I regret the way I acted in the past because I acted like a damn fool. But without those mistakes, I guess I wouldn’t be who I am. I hate that I have hurt people I love, but I realized that learning from those mistakes and changing is the best way to make up for them.

Just up in my feels.