Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [1]

Not gonna say it again

God forbid women have hobbies

I feel like a surfboard is potentially a fair price to pay for getting to watch an otter surfing.

She stopped stealing surfboards because she has a pup to take care of now. God forbid a woman have a little fun before she becomes a new mom.

I know this is horrible but this comment was left on a true crime youtube video and I cannot stop laughing. 

anyway. time to be weird about it

Gay Comix #17, 1993

hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

Succession 2.05 | Tern Haven

Since Fried Green Tomatoes was recently added to Netflix, there’s been a surge of posting about it, and a lot of it is so flabbergasting to me as a woman who is so thoroughly Fannie Flagg-pilled.

A public service announcement to all and sundry complaining about it not being more explicitly gay:

taylor ending every album for the last five years: i hate it here so much actually you’ll never seen me again im never doing this again im gonna die and dissolve into sea foam

taylor a year later: so y’all there’s this new album,

googledocs you are getting awfully uppity for something that can’t differentiate between “its” and “it’s” correctly

oho and now you’re questioning my adverb usage? you? you?

you fucking dare?

you try to change ‘tears’ to ‘years’ for no reason but don’t catch ‘imporint’???

hey quick question gdocs

what the fuck

1. how the fuck did this post become so popular

2. everyone just commenting ‘QUERCHED’ is delightful

3. some people have suggested i use grammarly. this is letting the robots win and also would deprive me of the opportunity to complain about insignificant technical things instead of just wanting to scream over writing all the time

4. i use googledocs because i want access to my writing on multiple platforms and also because fuck microsoft 

5. the difference between [its] and [it’s] is that [it’s] is always used as a shortened form of [it is] and [its] is used as the possessive of [it]. yes, this goes against the usual practice of just tacking on an [‘s] when you want to indicate ownership. yes, english is absolutely a trash language.

btw, gdoc’s most recent transgression:

noooope

LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE MEANING OF WHAT I WANT, GDOCS

i’m sorry what kind of AI FUCKERY is going on here that you are trying to ADD IN ADVERBS FOR ME that could ENTIRELY CHANGE THE TONE from a neutral ‘He’d been young’ to something that would put emphasis on just how young he was and how long ago it was you cannot just THROW EXTRA WORDS IN LIKE THAT

‘he’d been so young’ I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU

OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS

me @ everyone else using googledocs:

YOU

I just listened to a podcast with an A.I. research scientist. She said if you wouldn’t trust autocorrect to be in charge of a decision, then you shouldn’t trust another A.I. with it, so… that’s something to worry about

Grammarly is not better.

querched

The most egregious example of this I’ve experienced was while editing a student essay

“‘Twas the night before somebody’s Bat Mitzvah”? Really Google docs? Really??

actually for us the most infuriating thing is it’s not recommending ‘Twas but just Twas

I love how ai is clearly shithouse and a terrible idea to implement its use in practically everything regardless of this fact. Like everyone responsible for saying yes or no is just going “we gotta” even though we very much don’t gotta actually.

When the querched up white boy starts breaking it down sexaul style

The Tortured Poets Department. An anthology of new works that reflect events, opinions and sentiments from a fleeting and fatalistic moment in time - one that was both sensational and sorrowful in equal measure. This period of the author’s life is now over, the chapter closed and boarded up. There is nothing to avenge, no scores to settle once wounds have healed. And upon further reflection, a good number of them turned out to be self-inflicted. This writer is of the firm belief that our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.

And then all that’s left behind is the tortured poetry.

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT is out now.

https://taylor.lnk.to/thetorturedpoetsdepartment