I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying

this is, without a doubt, the funniest headline and photo combo i’ve ever seen

k

Just got a baffling survey from Google rewards

you all: [fighting, making bad posts, etc]

sea spider:

listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

me as a principal breaking up a fight

make like some scissors and cut it out

The Wolf of Walgreens

this is so sad alexa play despacito

Stop! THIEF!

There is absolutely no way to predict this video

i can’t believe there are people that are still in high school like… it’s literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn

Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?

this is the funniest thing i have ever seen

when i die

me: wassup bro lol god: 7 HOUR compilation video of you hitting curbs while driving (VERY FUNNY)

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid