I'm just a moment, so don't let me pass you by

James Acaster about the time his girlfriend left him for Rowan Atkinson | Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999

Naiomi Glasses ( via AC : )

YES👏MA'AM 👏

This captures everything I love about being online

This reminds me of the time that I asked if anyone had resources on the history of Shinto and while nobody had book recs, turns out an actual Temple Maiden followed me on Tumblr and was down to chat.

FRIENDS ( 1994 - 2004 ) ↳ season 4 episode 12

not even God can predict this ending

wait THAT’S why my wife always says “son boy allowed” about our cat??

i have 15 years’ worth of outstanding library fines in three separate cities and it’s my hope that eventually a bounty hunter librarian will come to collect and we’ll get in a bar fight and fall in love

I also can’t rent movies in two different towns so there’s that.

I’m newly terrified by the implication that librarians aren’t people and I’ve misjudged what exactly I’m up against

DOCTOR WHO (2005-) “Journey’s End” (4.13)

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

ah yes, leg hands

hi i am crying. i love you trans women ❤

It's fun reading writers who clearly grew up in suburban/urban environments as someone who grew up on a farm because they're always like "oh it was so creepy, woods at night, eerily breathtaking, something was living in there..." and it's like yeah that'll be the deer.

EXACTLY

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil