✿☆*:How Bad Me Be:*☆✿

a result of my wild wednesday night on rollercoaster tycoon video’d for your viewing and entertaining pleasure!!!!! only about a minute and half long but worth it for the big finale which is very emotional. ENJOY. XXXXX

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”

Does Wan Shi Tong really know that many things? Is 10,000 things a lot of things? Does every word count as a thing? Every number?

Minnesota has over 10,000 lakes

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

[Audio starts]

“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”

“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”

[Clears throat.]

“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”

[Heaving breaths.]

“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”

[Sobbing.]

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”

[Sniff.]

“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”

[Shaky breath.]

“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”

[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]

[Audio ends]

Keep reading

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

I fucking love him

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

He also jabs racists in the eye!

I love the justice grandpa of fists

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

I have a new role model

“justice grandpa of fists”

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

we need him more than ever…

This large man in a comic strip is my mood kindred.

I want an Everett by my side always

(requested by anonymous)

absolutely fantastic

Couldn’t have said it better myself

*spongebob voice* when worlds collide

This is it, my magnum opus

(Fav frames vv)

This is for all y’all who don’t understand how terrifying these suckers are. 

OHMYGOD IT’S ATTACKING THE STATUE OF LIBERTY SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

I know just the man for the job.

This is a good joke. This is such a solid, quality joke.

@explainingthejoke ?

The initial image is a size comparison between the statue of liberty and a wind turbine. The wind turbine is over ninety feet (about 28 meters) taller.

A commenter pretended to misinterpret the image as one of a wind turbine attacking the statue of liberty. The next commenter answered with an image of Don Quixote, a literary character who once thought a windmill was a monster and announced his plans to fight it. They are joking that if a wind turbine attacked the statue of liberty, Don Quixote would be willing to fight the wind turbine.

Incidentally, that scene led to the English idiom “tilting at windmills,” meaning a person who has not only disproportionate reactions of anger, but disproportionate reactions of anger to nonexistent challenges.

So all those people who are fighting to preserve coal jobs and the fossil fuel economy are….

actually…

tilting at windmills.

I feel like this is one of the very few times where explaining the joke leads to another one that everyone can now understand and laugh at

This an amazing post

real quality, start to finish.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

sexyback over the beat of seven nation army

i’m bringing sexy back a seven nation army couldn’t hold me back

this post gave me whiplash

It already exists guys

to that anon who sent me ‘mikulovania’ three times i hope you’re happy

kids today are too fucking powerful.,, we merely adopted the internet, they were born in it

He just roasted every YouTuber in one take…

What Your Favorite My Hero Academia Ship Says About You

Transcription below the cut

Keep reading

Original song !!

This is gonna be the first track off an EP I hope to release in the summer ! 

Voice used is Kasane Teto