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( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)

@catmitzvah-blog / catmitzvah-blog.tumblr.com

catherine/21/stuffed animal mom "nurse recommended, dog approved" - nurse andrea doiwannaknow "Catherine catmitzvah my new fav blogy. very nice blogy, very nice person" - amber ambvr "if you bashed me over the head w a vase i would say Thank you" - sarah eoinloveless "stay strong yung trap god" - darien noprobob
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hi im not rly on here much any more follow me on the twitter @authenticgrunge or add me on facebook if we friends! prob gonna delete this jawn soon

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my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t losing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet in the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

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If anyone's tryna see Laura marling tonight @ union transfer I have an extra ticket signal boost pls

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tarot card reader: *pulls out a deck of pokemon cards* lets see… mr. mime here says you may be facing financial difficulties real soon

me: what is this

tarot card reader: just a joke to lighten the mood. *pulls out a deck of yugioh cards* now lets get started

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