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i wanna be yours

@brolindream / brolindream.tumblr.com

Roma, 24, POLAND. Is obsessed with Merlin, Harry Potter and Captain America. Always lazy, clumsy and late to the party. Occasionally makes graphics and gifs. Reads way too many fanfics to be healthy. Currently reading: First Year by Rachel E. Carter Currently watching: Vikings s6 Currently playing: The Witcher 2
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kieren-fucking-walker
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crunchbuttsteak

If I had a nickel for every big name Harry Potter fanfic writer who started their own cult, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

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lookingforsarahjay

Oh man, are we talking about Snape wives?? I because every time I remember them I just have to stare off into the distance for a while.

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crunchbuttsteak

I’d have three nickels.

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merry-kuroo

What is a Snape Wife? Someone fill me in on all these Harry Potter cults 😂

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iamthecraftmaster

Snape wives (or as they called themselves, Snapeists) were an online cult made mostly of middle-aged women who believed the following

  1. Severus Snape is an omniscient, unkillable entity residing on the astral plane.
  2. Snape is the one true god.
  3. Snape possessed JKR to write the Harry Potter books, but she got several things wrong; most importantly Snape dying.
  4. The spirit of Snape abandoned JKR because she wasn't good enough for him and created the Snapists instead.
  5. Snape chose several Snapists that have a special connection with him to lead his religion.
  6. Snapists can serve Snape by marrying him and becoming sister-wives (there was lots of debate on if they could have boyfriends/husbands other than Snape in the real world).
  7. Snape contacts his followers who are worthy, both in dreams and by possessing real life people.
  8. To be worthy of Snape, you need to be... basically a tradwife. Obey Snape in all things, never question him, don't be independent, be pretty, be thin, only have feminine hobbies, etc.

The snapewives wrote a crazy amount of fanfiction about Snape, both erotic and otherwise. Plus they had their own prayers, ceremonies, shrines... shit was wild. The whole religion fell apart when one of the leaders criticized Snape and was subsequently bullied out of the community and another decided that the one true god was actually Jethro Gibbs from NCIS.

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keyofmgy

when the second half of that last sentence hits you like a brick in the face

#hp#text post#snape#this is wild
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reblogged
lightforests
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anonymousalchemist

being 25 is like: im dying. im living my best life. im a failure. my life hasnt started. everything interesting has already happened to me. im achieving my dreams. im cutting my hair with kitchen scissors. im starting a skincare routine. im a corporate professional. im a sellout. im out of groceries. i have too many groceries. i am never going to be successful. i am going to win a hugo award before im 30. im crazy. im boring. i need to finish this essay. i need to finish this story. i need to start a newsletter. i need to start tweeting more. i need to stop tweeting. i need to ghost all my friends. i need to tell my friends i love them. i need to find a new apartment. i need to take out the trash. i am the trash that needs to be taken out. 

#i feel called out#about me#true#text post
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