me at home: one piece of toast is fine

me at a place with free garlic bread: I must have 5 loaves of this or I will die

Reblog to have Carrie Fisher blow you a kiss

i need this today

I really…fucking hate customer service.

Like…

Okay, as a lot of you know, I work overnights at a hotel. It’s for a pretty recognizable brand, so we get a lot of high paying customers.

Part of my job is to prep the breakfast area before the breakfast team shows up so that breakfast is done by the time it needs to be. This, of course, means that I have to step away from the desk. It doesn’t really help that the time I need to start working on breakfast is also when customers start checking out.

So I had the bright idea of making a sign. It’s not fancy, the letters are pretty big, and it basically just says “Hey if you need me I’m in the kitchen, just give a holler.”

It’s worked really well so far; people see it, they call for me, and I get them taken care of with little to no fuss. Or, at least, it’s worked up until now.

This guy.

This. Fucking. Guy.

I finish prepping the breakfast area, I walk out, and at the front desk is a man, huffing and puffing. He harshly asks “Are you working the front desk?”.

I say with my best customer service voice “Yes sir, I just had to prep a few things for the breakfast team. Can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah you can help me by giving me some fucking service. I’ve been waiting for almost five minutes and I have to catch my flight!”

Oh boy. Here we go.

So I tell the man, “Well, sir, if you’ll look right in front of you, if you needed me, that sign tells you that I was in the kitchen.”

And this man. Just. Fucking looks at me. And says.

“You expect me to fucking read on my day off?”

And I just.

I was floored. That someone would say that. Completely unironically. With no hesitation.

Just

Fucking customer service, man.

@arcanememory sorry I thought of you

can we get a collective f in chat for the people who live on the other side of the country or are in a different country altogether

#she went there

Matilda (1996), dir. Danny DeVito

hold up Danny DeVito directed the most influential film of my childhood?

Not only directed it but starred in it, took care of Mara Wilson (Matilda) while her mother was in hospital with cancer and even managed to get an advanced copy of the movie for her to watch before she succumbed to her illness. The man is a treasure.

The best story I’ve heard about the production of Matilda was: 

The scene where Matilda was dancing around her living room making things fly around to the song “Little Bitty Pretty One” was very nerve-wracking for Mara. She told Danny that she was anxious to do the scene, and he said, “You know why? Because you’re the only one dancing! We just have to have everyone else dance too! Then it won’t be scary!” 

So everyone–the crew, the rest of the cast, the people at the craft services table, everyone–danced along with the song, at Danny’s insistence. Apparently the only one who wasn’t doing the full on dance was the camera man, who just did a foot shuffle so the camera wouldn’t jiggle. 

If that’s not the sweetest thing ever I don’t know what is. 

why did they give this line to the villain

Jesus.

just a few from the #afterseptember11 twitter hashtag

In honor of Day of the Dead, here’s a repost of my comic about the San Francisco Columbarium and the man who spent 26 years restoring it.

This comic originally appeared on Medium at The Nib. Go check out my other work there.

Emmitt and the Columbarium.

marie antoinette was a clueless teenage girl thrown into a marriage and country she had no choice in, and has been slandered for hundreds of years since her death, with made up quotes such as “let them eat cake” when her final words were actually apologising to a guard for stepping on his toes, the fact that despite the extravagance she was much less fancy and money wasting than previous royals, and the erasure of her efforts to listen to and help the people despite having no political experience and her king-husband being useless, all providing a perfect example of the sexualised demonisation of young women with any semblance of power throughout history, and in this essay i will

Unpopular Opinion: The reason people don't use zodiac signs to determine insurance costs, college acceptance, etc. like how dna data bases are threatening to do is because astrology is a predominately female hobby and therefore viewed as useless, baseless, and/or witchcraft.

speaking as a witch: shut the fuck up

denied Medicare for being a libra

This is the funniest shit on earth

full offense but if my college professor can look me in my eyes while im wearing a "baby slut" crop top and mini skirt and explain the homework, high school teachers should be able to fucking handle a literal child wearing shorts smh

Walk into a job interview wearing the same thing, OP. See how far you get.

Hate to break it to you but a college lecture isn’t a job interview. You can and should wear whatever you want in college. And high schoolers should be able to wear fucking shorts. It’s hot sometimes.

The thing about emo (as a musical genre and a cultural phenomenon) is, I think, that it was a response to the September 11, 2001 terror attacks and the Bush administration’s painful mishandling thereof.

No, I’m serious. My Chemical Romance was formed as a direct result of Gerard Way witnessing the towers fall. Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’ (an album that, at least as far as I can tell from having been a teenager in Canada at the time, was seminal in influencing the look and sound of emo) is all about the Bush administration - all the lyrics are about life under a democratic dystopia and many reference current events from the time - and it came out in 2004, halfway through the Bush presidency. A bunch of Linkin Park’s stuff makes reference to it also, especially their album ‘Minutes to Midnight’, where they first started moving out of the nu-metal/rap sound they’d been working with before and into a more mainstream emo-rock sound. That album came out in 2007. All of the really big bands with that kind of sound - and most of the smaller ones with more of a punk/hardcore sound but similar themes - were active in the mainstream from around 2001-2010. Many of them didn’t survive past 2009, and those that did either totally reinvented themselves (Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, MCR for the five minutes it took to produce Danger Days, Linkin Park) or became near-totally irrelevant (Paramore dropped an album sometime in the last two years; did any of you know that? And Green Day haven’t mattered since 21st Century Breakdown, which was released in 2009).

Why? Well, many of you are probably too young to remember this, but the 2001 terror attacks were what really made ‘Islamic terrorism’ a real threat in the minds of most Westerners. We’d never experienced an attack of that scale on American soil, and it was just as the internet was really becoming a mainstay in every house and my generation was getting online. As a result, it was not only a major political event, but it was hugely personal - the coverage was everywhere, in everybody’s home, all the time, and there were a lot of kids being exposed to the coverage in such a way that they often had no good way to process it. I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed the way we live. I’m Canadian and I felt this shit. Before, we could fly to America domestic, without a passport. Now? Half the draconian, ridiculous rules that hold you up at the TSA today were initiated in September and October of 2001. It was the only thing anyone could think of to do - lock down, protect your own. People were scared, on a continental scale.

And to make matters worse, George W. Bush’s government, which had to somehow respond to and take point in the response to this unprecedented event, didn’t seem to have the first foggiest clue what they were doing. This was a government that not only didn’t seem to listen to its people, not only lied blatantly to its people, but did it badly. They made hugely unpopular decisions, including starting a war in the Middle East that dragged in multiple countries and completely failed to achieve its stated goal of catching Osama bin Laden or proving that he had in his control weapons of mass destruction (the whole war was predicated on the fact that these so-called weapons of mass destruction existed, that the Bush administration had good reason to believe that they existed, were under the control of the Taliban, and were going to be used against Western targets, none of which was ever proven to be true).

So, from 2001-2009, the two (TWO) full terms of the Bush presidency, there were a whole lot of people who couldn’t vote (be they under the age of majority, like most of the emo kids I knew, or Canadians unhappily dragged along with the US’ boneheaded foreign policy decisions because we’re allies, also like most of the emo kids I knew) and therefore felt, not only scared of basically the impending end of their world in a way that they hadn’t previously had to feel, and not only angry about being clearly lied to and clumsily manipulated when the truth was obvious to anyone with eyes, but also powerless to do anything to change anything about that. And meanwhile, people kept dying in this pointless war and the president kept trying to hold together the illusion that everything was hunky-dory.

And what was popular with teenagers from about 2001-2009? Yep. Emo.

Emo as a genre was very personal, very focused on the individual (with the exception of the albums I noted above), but lyrically and musically, it fit right with the cultural atmosphere of the time. People were scared of the impending end of their world/their lives? Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and The Black Parade. People were angry about things they felt powerless to change? From Under The Cork Tree and Decemberunderground. Emo captured what kids were feeling about trying to fit into a world that was so clearly fucked up and broken and pretending to be okay, putting on a strong face to Show The Terrorists They Didn’t Win. Emo was about stripping away the mask, exposing the messy, angry, frightened, sad, true underbelly of American society at the time, and exposing hypocrisy - in individuals as much as in politicians. The hatred of ‘preps’ and ‘posers’? Totally not just a My Immortal thing. Emo was about wearing your heart on your sleeve, about it being okay to mourn, to rage, to be afraid for your life beyond this - and to keep moving forward regardless, step by slow step.

So what changed in 2009 that made the phenomenon fade without so much as a whimper? Simple. Hope. The Audacity of Hope, to be exact.

Barack Obama won his presidency largely because young people supported him. Those were the young people who suffered through feeling helpless and powerless under Bush, who wanted things to change but felt they had no chance of making it so. Barack Obama was a chance. One of his first campaign promises was to end the Iraq war, a promise he followed through on. And even if his presidency hasn’t been perfect, it has never been the Bush administration, with the feeling that the will of the people was being entirely and quietly ignored by those in power to further their own agendas.

What I am saying, then, I guess, is that it’s time to buy stocks in Hot Topic, because whatever happens in the upcoming US presidential election, there are a lot of young people who may soon be needing black, white, and red graphic band tees and Manic Panic hair dye.

From someone who was in American high school in 2001, we were also incredibly terrified for at least the early Bush years. We were all pretty sure that the draft could possibly be reinstated and we could get sucked into the war. Some of my friends and I had plans on how best to get Don’t Ask, Don’t Telled out of the draft. We were all absolutely terrified of the prospect.

#omfg #is this why I’ve been reverting?

tbh I feel like a lot of us in our early/mid 20s who had an “emo” phase are going back (or just listening to more of) music from that part of our lives. and for the life of me I can’t figure out if it’s because we’re just at that age where we can be nostalgic for early teenager angst or if it’s because of the crushing global angst we’re all now very much aware of.

skills include:

the four horsemen of the apocalypse

something old something new something borrowed something blue