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Here be dragons

@thewizardess / thewizardess.tumblr.com

A whole lot of fannish nonsense
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Yall i just got an email from tumblr saying I interacted with accounts made by the IRA …… is this even real????

The internet is wild

Im literally imagining some government worker in russia logging onto tumblr.edu and thinking to themselves “better change my url to ‘black-galaxy-magic’ to stay young n hip and relevant with the youth of america”

sooooo let’s break it down then because the fact that tumblr sent this email is mega important

if yall haven’t been living under a rock for the last year and a half, you may have heard that trump won the election. and you may have also heard that trump was helped out by russia in a ton of ways. one of those ways was by the russian troll farm, the internet research agency (IRA). there were 84 accounts on tumblr spreading anti-hillary propaganda and general discontent, mainly targeting POC and “socially aware” youth. some of those accounts were HUGELY influential, “4mysquad” being one of the top ones with tons of followers and popular posts.

a lot of them started with relatively innocent, pro-POC posts to gain a following, before moving on to anti-police, anti-hillary, and general anti-establishment to create distrust in the only major-party candidate against trump. like I said, many of the accounts were hugely influential so their posts spread FAR. all that visibility led to increased voter apathy, meaning less voter turnout and fewer people voting against trump. and tumblr was silent on this after the official indictment of the IRA, until literally just yesterday. 

so to sum up, the email you and a ton of other people got is saying that you were following and sharing posts from russian pro-trump propaganda blogs. i’d ask that you PLEASE reblog this, because it’s super important that everyone who got this email knows why they got it, knows what it means, and hopefully knows what they might be able to do better in the future

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tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like

“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”

and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent

“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”

“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!

“How about kimoNO.”

“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”

“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”

“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”

“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”

there’s gotta be, like, a rotating schedule for language historians so they don’t burn out.

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needthisbook

Ten Major Artists:

Wong Wong & Lulu

Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait

Pepper’s self-portrait

Tiger the spontaneous reductionist

Misty goes off the wall

Minnie, the abstract expressionist

Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.

Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch

Smokey at work

Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.

Princess, the elemental fragmentist

Charlie, the peripheral realist

this literally makes me so happy

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Story idea when you try to actually write it:

Story idea when you first rewrite it:

Getting closer to what you saw in your head, eh? Keep at it!

Your story when somebody else sees it:

hhhhhHHHHHHH

This is a lovely post. It goes to show that when we percieve our own work, most of us have some type of insecurities about our own talents. 

Also possibly relevant is that probably when Van Gogh finished Starry Night, he jumped up and down in frustration for a while because it didn’t look as good as it had in his head.

Tolkien used to complain that he could never write anything as well as he could imagine it.  So you know, ‘good enough’ is definitely a thing.

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I don’t know what it is about Star Wars but even if it’s not your biggest fandom, it still has the funniest memes by a long shot I mean “look at all the fucks i give anakin” and “your poncho is a piece of junk” and anakin hates sand it’s all just 1000% pure class

YOU CAN’T BEAT THIS SHIT

And my new favorite:

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reblogged
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kabber

So I just woke up and my first thought was “what if in the four horsemen of the apocalypse, pestilence was one of those anti-vax moms?”

quite frankly the four white suburban soccer-moms of the apocalypse would scare me way more

War is the one constantly screaming at retail workers

Famine is a diet nut, one of the really annoying ones who is all ‘OMG PALEO IS THE TRUE WAY TO EAT AND IF YOU DON’T EAT PALEO YOU’RE GOING TO DIE OF CANCER’

Death drives a minivan

I’m sorry I just really had to draw this _(:’3_)_

YES GOOD

I will ALWAYS reblog this.

“I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER” I’m DYING

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang, but with ill-informed decisions

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5 Types of Surprises

Last time I talked about the differences between surprise and suspense, saying that we should actually try to use both in our writing. I don’t see enough articles that speak to how to write surprises and how to write them well. So I’ve broken down the element of surprise into five categories that may help.

1. Out of the Blue 

The out-of-the-blue surprise is what it sounds like–it comes out of the blue. It isn’t foreshadowed or expected in any way. In some ways, this can be the hardest surprise to pull off. Not because it’s difficult to write, but because if you do it wrong the audience will feel cheated or disappointed. One of the most important aspects of writing surprises is that the surprise isn’t a disappointment. You want to make sure it doesn’t undermine or cheat the reader. You don’t want that being the surprise. If the out-of-the-blue surprise isn’t a disappointment, it can be a fun one to throw into the story simply because the audience won’t be expecting it. For example, it could turn out in the story that the protagonist’s cousin and close friend is actually working with the antagonist. If this was not foreshadowed and the audience was not prepared for this revelation in any way, it’s an out-of-the-blue surprise. However, if your audience knows the cousin character well and this revelation seems to go against all that she is and what they believe of her, you run the risk of unbelievability. It may not sit well with them. In some cases, the audience may feel that the writer threw it in there for shock or in an effort to try to make the story more interesting. But, if the revelation comes and it fits the character in some way (though not foreshadowed), it will be a big surprise, and while shocking, will still be believable. The out-of-the-blue surprise is probably the easiest to write but the most difficult for the audience to accept.

2. Foreshadowed Surprise

A foreshadowed surprise is–yup, you guessed it–a surprise that has been foreshadowed. Now in order for it to actually be a surprise, you can’t be heavy-handed with the foreshadowing. When you are heavy-handed with the foreshadowing, the audience guesses the outcome before it happens, so it’s not actually a surprise. To be successful at this, the foreshadowing is there, but it’s subtle. If we use the example from the last section, we might give hints earlier in the story that the cousin character is working with the antagonist character, without actually revealing that fact outright, until the proper moment. When you subtly foreshadow, and then the surprise happens, the audience thinks back and says, “Oh yeah, that makes sense. I see that now.” A foreshadowed surprise takes a bit more skill to write, but it’s easier for the audience to accept, because it makes sense with what came prior. A good example of a foreshadowed surprise in Harry Potter is **spoiler** that Harry is a Horcrux. There is enough foreshadowing in the seven books, but it’s very subtle. So when we find out, it’s a big surprise, but it all fits.  

3. The Twist

People love a good twist. It’s almost its own thing. But in order to pull off a good twist, it needs an element of surprise. It belongs in the surprise, not suspense, category. I’ve talked about this in other posts, but a twist works off a shift in context. Sure, of course there is foreshadowing, but we actually move beyond subtle foreshadowing. We give the audience much more context for how to interpret the information they are receiving. Last time I mentioned the movie the Sixth Sense, which is famous because of its twist. In the Sixth Sense, the audience is given context for everything that is happening with and to Bruce Willis’s character. For example, the reason his wife won’t talk to him is because they’re having marriage problems. A twist shifts the context. The content is the same it’s been (i.e. Bruce Willis’s wife won’t talk to him), but our interpretation and understanding of it changes with new information or a new revelation about the information we already have (we find out Bruce Willis is dead). This is what makes a twist so powerful. The content was there in front of us the whole time. We had even interpreted it. But the reality was actually different than we’d assumed. A twist is probably the most difficult surprise to pull off, but it’s the easiest for the audience to believe–they’ve been staring at the evidence the whole time. They just didn’t see it that way. They may say things like, “I can’t believe Bruce Willis was dead!” But this comes from surprise and shock, rather than them disbelieving the story to be authentic. They have a hard time taking in the new information–it’s not that it ruins their suspension of disbelief, it’s that they are so surprised.

4. Exceeding Expectations

You can surprise your audience by exceeding expectations. You may have heard the concept that if you show a gun hanging on the wall in a story that that gun needs to go off by the end of the story (Chekhov’s gun). The audience expects the gun to go off. So you surprise them by not having it go off once, but three, four, five times at the end. That’s the simple way to explain it. Of course, there are other facets in play and things you can do wrong–I mean, if you are writing a cozy story, then having the gun go off and kill five people probably wouldn’t fit the tone. However, having it go off five times and hit other things, maybe even humorously, might work. But it’s the idea that you surprise the audience by moving beyond what they expect. You not only give them what they expect, but you take it much further to something they didn’t even imagine. That’s surprising.

5. The Trope Twist

If you aren’t familiar with the term “trope,” then I highly suggest checking out tvtropes.org, where you can learn more than you ever wanted to about them. A trope is a storytelling technique that has been used enough for the audience to recognize (consciously, or more often, subconsciously). It’s a pattern in storytelling. It can be about plot, character, story structure, and just about any number of things. For more about what at trope is, read this page.

Here are some quick examples:

Tsundere (Character type)

Taking the Bullet (Micro-plot element)

It Sucks to be the Chosen One (Story/character element)

Be Yourself (Theme)

Basically, a trope is any thing that is done regularly in storytelling. Some people get a little disheartened learning and exploring tropes for the first time, because tropes may seem to oversimplify their amazing story (not to mention that tvtropes.org uses a witty tone in most all their entries (that is admittedly very entertaining)). But tropes aren’t bad, and every story has them. They’re only bad when they are handled poorly. And they get annoying if the same tropes seem to keep cropping up in the same ways. For example, after Harry Potter got big, I swear, almost every book had the prophecy trope in it. It was annoying.

That’s where surprises come in.

I bring up this example a lot, but one of the reasons I love Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn trilogy is because he took familiar tropes and twisted them in unexpected ways, so that even though we as the audience are familiar with the concept of “the chosen one,” we couldn’t guess the ways Brandon Sanderson ended up twisted them. So we were surprised.

When you twist a trope, you take something familiar to storytelling, and you do something atypical with it.

These work doubly well for writing twists in general. Because the audience knows the trope, they have an expectation (interpretation, context) already for the outcome in a story. But if you do something different, they’ll be surprised. They’ll say things like, “I didn’t see that coming.” Well, that’s because that trope usually doesn’t end that way. You, the writer, did something uncommon with it.

You can twist tropes in a number of ways. You can deviate from expectation. You can also move the expectation up, so that it happens and is dealt with much sooner than is typical. For example, “the chosen one” dies before Mistborn even starts. What a clever way to start a story. What happens when the supposed chosen one dies trying to defeat the ultimate villain? What’s next? When you read the back cover of Mistborn, it’s surprising. You can twist typical character roles. You can twist typical character tropes. You can twist typical plot outcomes.

When you mess around with tropes, you can come up with something surprising.

However, you can also, like the other surprises, end up with a worse story, if you don’t do it right. Which leads me to the next important point.

Where Surprises Go Wrong

Surprises work off doing something the audience doesn’t expect. But as I mentioned earlier, they can go wrong when that something is a disappointment or “lesser” than what is expected. The audience will feel cheated or shortchanged. You need to keep your promises to the audience. Whatever the surprise is, it should either be just as good as what the audience expected from the story, or better. Surprises can alter the overall outcome of the story. Or they add to the overall story. But they should not takeaway from the overall story. You don’t want to “cheat” the audience by promising them vanilla ice cream and then giving them broccoli by the end. You can surprise them by promising vanilla ice cream and then giving them chocolate ice cream instead (assuming they like chocolate as much as vanilla, so the exchange is equal). And you can surprise them by promising broccoli and then giving them ice cream instead (something they like even better). And you can surprise them by promising them broccoli, delivering that dish, and also vanilla and chocolate ice cream (exceeding expectations). But you should definitely not promise food and serve them nothing. (I understand that people will grumble different dissents to my metaphor because they don’t like ice cream or whatever the case, but it’s to illustrate my point, all right?) So, go forth and surprise me. Related Posts

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karaoyoshi

Theory on Fjord’s Patron

So we saw him activate his Hexblade’s Curse last night, as well as use some more abilities and found out his background. -Fjord used to be a sailor -His Falchion grew Barnacles  -It started dripping water like it was pulled from the sea -His Wrathful Smite spell effect was watery/blue -Matt used a lot of sea imagery on his spell effects My Guess? Fjord was on a ship that sunk due to a disaster, and Fjord pledged himself to Davey Jones(or a near-analog) as he was dying to spare him, and is now in their service. 

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I feel like a lot of Star Wars fans need to be acquainted with the concept of “friends with benefits.”

I just wish I had a link to the Lucas interview circa AotC where he said Jedi are not celibate as a rule. It is attachment/marriage they have a problem with. The Jedi have always had recourse to rationalize what Anakin and Padme are up to.

Honestly, after watching the movies and especially TCW, I’m not sure I can even contemplate celibate Obi Wan seriously. That man is ridiculous. He probably legitimately considers banter early foreplay. If anyone could delude himself into thinking Anakin was just finally getting his proper slut on instead of defiling Jedi tenets, it would be him.

I remember reading an article about this, yeah!

“Jedi Knights aren’t celibate - the thing that is forbidden is attachments - and possessive relationships.”

So they definitely can have sex, it’s possessive relationships (which is what attachment is associated with) that they forbid.  Whether Anakin is right that that includes marriage or if he’s misinterpreted that part, who knows, but you will NEVER convince me that Obi-Wan didn’t feel perfectly free to have sex when he felt like it.

LOL @ all of this, but also I am dying because what if, after all this anguish, there actually WASN’T a Jedi Rule against marriage, Anakin was just confused (I mean…this is Anakin we’re talking about,) and so when Anakin and Padme are (poorly) sneaking around all those YEARS, the rest of the Jedi are like “…so, do they not want us to know they’re married? Why?” Other Jedi are starting to feel slighted and wondering why Anakin didn’t invite any of his Jedi family to the wedding. Jedi don’t get married that often, so when one of them does, they throw one HELL of a PARTY. Yoda is heartbroken because he’s Anakin’s elderly great-great Jedi grandpa and he still didn’t even get an announcement in his inter-office mail. 

Obi-Wan shrugs and explains that, well, Anakin’s weird sometimes. Oh, he’s tried to ask about Senator Amidala, all right, but Anakin always brushes him off! He’s not sure what to do anymore (and he’s also totally pretending not to be crushed that he wasn’t asked to be best man.)

On a slightly less ridiculous note, I am completely sure Obi-Wan was not celibate. One of my favorite things about the Rey’s Parentage Debates were when people would be like “well we know she’s not Obi-Wan’s granddaughter because CLEARLY Obi-Wan would Never have sex oh my no” and I’d just be like “look, I don’t know who her parents are, and I have no stake in this fight, but if you think that man never had sex with anybody ever I am not sure we are even watching the same show.” 

OBI-WAN JUST WANTED TO ASK HIM ABOUT WHERE THEY WERE REGISTERED AND ANAKIN BIT HIS HEAD OFF SO ALL RIGHT GUESS ANAKIN DOESN’T WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH THE REST OF THEM.  Yoda’s heartbroken about it, he was so looking forward to the grandkids’ wedding and that Senator Amidala girl is really nice, he gets a warm feeling in his heart when he sees her! On to the slightly more serious note–I’m pretty sure the implication that we were supposed to take away from his relationship with Satine was YEAH THEY DEFINITELY BANGED because even if Korkie wasn’t canonically his bio-son we’re meant to at least consider the idea and to consider THEY HAD TO HAVE BANGED IN THE FIRST PLACE. Also, you know there’s a string out there of of heartbroken super hot blondes who just get SO MAD at his stupid handsome face.  Probably at least a dozen of them!

mochibuni said: 

I would like an AU(?) fic of Jedi Waiting For Marriage Inviations Where Are They Anakin???

I’M LAUGHING BECAUSE ANAKIN THINKS THEY ALL HATE HIM BECAUSE THEY’RE JERKS BUT REALLY THEY’RE JUST MAD THAT HE DOESN’T INVITE THEM TO STUFF.  Mace Windu gives him the stink eye and Anakin just knows that guy hates him for no good reason, meanwhile Mace is STILL WAITING FOR THE INVITATION and it’s not until Anakin finally tells them about the Sith Lord that Mace’s trust in him is renewed. Yoda’s constantly dropping hints like, “Friends, I thought we were, hmmm??” out of the blue and Anakin’s just like, “Uhhh????” and has no idea Yoda’s hinting about how MAYBE THEY WOULD LIKE AN INVITATION.

HAHAHAHA OH GOD I LOVE THIS BUT IT IS MAKING ME SO SAD TOO. 

“Young Skywalker, more to say, have you?” Master Yoda says, his ears perking up hopefully, his eyes wide.  “No,“ Anakin broods in response, sure that everyone in this room hates him and can see into his soul and also are always going to lunch without him because Chancellor Palpatine totally said they were. He stalks off, robe billowing.  “I don’t understand,” Mace Windu frets, leaning back in his seat, after Anakin leaves. “I’m really happy for him. Senator Amidala is a strong advocate for justice in this galaxy. Why won’t he say something?” Obi-Wan sighs and buries his head in his hands. “I know it’s not a good look for a Jedi to be so invested,” he despairs, “But I’d just always thought Anakin would want me at his wedding, after all we’ve been through.”

“How did it go with the Council?” Padme asks later.  “Horrible,” Anakin snarls, “They all hate me and would never understand our forbidden love which is totally forbidden.” “Hmm. It’s a shame. Also someone sent us this blender today from Crate and Barrel,” Padme says, gesturing towards a box. “And Master Yoda tearfully gave me this book of baby names when I was leaving the Senate floor today. I have no idea why.” “They are so weird,” says Anakin, scowling. 

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new theory: all these “rare” super moons we’ve been having? the moon is trying to get closer. she needs to tell us something. everybody be quiet.

Pretty sure there’s a certain Nintendo game that explains why this is a bad thing.

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