we're still flying

Time can’t just disappear, it’s a universal invariant.

The X-Files / Pilot

literally how can you hate this masterpiece 

my uterus realizing we aren’t having a baby after building up a lining for three weeks:

“Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.”

Happy birthday, Harry James Potter! (b. 31 July, 1980)

This is an underrated joke

rich people i hate u also let me swim in ur pool

peak comedy is realizing people from your high school are trying to become social media influencers 

OH MY GOD.

ALEXA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Can you imagine how fucking wild ladies must have gone for the rejection in pride and prejudice right after it was first published. This guy’s making ten thousand a year and her family is expecting her to find accommodation for herself sooner rather than later and STILL Lizzie is like “no. No. True love only. And also while I’ve got you here please accept my invitation to fuck off.” I would’ve lost my damn gourd, I would’ve gone bonkers. And group chats didn’t exist so you’d just have to hope your friends were as far into the book as you so you could meet at the village green to throw a fucking riot